Help please

Hi everyone. I am incredibly stressed. I have been corresponding with my Philippino girlfriend a whole year. She has been great. Including her family. I have supported her financial. No incidents at all during the year. But recently I transferred money to her savings bank so she could achieve a visa to come to UK. She was about to send it back to me when she alleges she was robbed in the street...ended up in hospital injured etc money gone. I am having trouble finding out the full story even from her. I am suspicious...what can we do? I contacted hospital to confirm she was there? They wouldn't tell me. Any suggestions what I should/can do? She is resentful that I don't fully believe her

Have you met her and her family in person?

Hi Callen and welcome to the forum. Can I ask, have you met personally and which visa was she applying for?

It's hard for anyone here to give a concise or correct answer to you situation as it is you that knows her best. Obviously many scam stories manifest from the Philippines (as they do in other countries) but whether that can be applied in these circumstances is difficult to say.

I know it sounds negative but not haven't been to Philippines yet or met. But our year long contact was daily..camming...very intense. I got to know whole family very well. They are very religious. I had not once had any reason to suspect she was devious. The situation is she won't go into detail now of what happened in robbery. She is hurt that I don't fully believe her. She has told me bits of stiry. But I need other evidence to stop my suspicions. Would police there help me if I contacted them? Hospital told me she was there on that day but won't give full details. Ok I may have been played...and scammed. But I need to be sure? It is destroying us now. Maybe hiring a private investgainve there would work to find out precise details of events?

By the way. It was a Tourist visa we were applying for. First attempt at it was refused. We didn't prepare needed documents correctly

Yeah if you can, better hire a private investigator. If you're willing to accept whatever the result is, then go ahead. Just a thought, does she have any wound or scar whatever? If the woman is really into you, she won't use that "trust" issue. She would even ask for comfort and show her bruise if any or tell everything to you.

Is she employed in Phil?

The thing with a long distance relationship is that it puts additional pressure on a supposed relationship.

Doubt can creep in where it wouldn't necessarily happen in a physical relationship. Sometimes we can read a person better when they are in the room with us.

I think the fact that the hospital confirmed that she was there on the day of the incident may well mean that you may have to accept her version of events. The hospital won't give any details due to patient confidentiality, indeed, I'm surprised they told you she was there to be honest.

The suspicion has probably grown out of what I suggested, namely LDR. You should have really met the girl in person before you started to support her financially. I'm guessing there is possibly some infatuation mixed with the fact that you haven't met may well be exaggerating the fact. Minds can work overtime/overthink situations in LDR's.

Is there any reason why you haven't met her?

There is another possibility, that is that she does indeed care for you but that she did use the money for something else, maybe important, maybe for someone else. Phil can be unbearably generous sometimes, even if it is with someone elses' money. They care so much for family, its a priority and she might be under pressure.

Give her the opportunity to admit / confess without repercussion and if the story changes maybe you can decide if you trust her or not. The whole indignation is classic defensive response from anyone who is possibly guilty as well, of whatever nationality.

Then remember, once bitten twice shy. If she doesn't care or has made other "plans" she will do it again one last time.

I hope its all a misunderstanding but be careful.

99% certain you've been scammed.

Chalk it up to experience. Move on before you either send any more money or get more stressed.

Chances are that she is working other guys, not just yourself.

Last one, if you really want or love her, visit her instead. Tourist visa fails 99% unless she has work in the Phil and have enough money in her bank account. You can't use the bf sponsorship. You haven't met each other yet.

Hi Callen, sorry to hear of your bad experience . Just a thought, if your girl was robbed in the street , surely she would report it to the police and get a crime report number ?

If it will give you peace of mind , maybe you can hire a private detective to look into it further , maybe others on here can pass on their experiences if they have some .

Bottom line is NEVER send money to someone you have not met in person .
Maybe try telling her that now you won't be able to send her money for a while , and see what reaction you get .

yep--exactly...turn the cash tap off see what happens.

You have all the reason to be suspicious.

did she show any photos when she was in the hospital, or even any injuries or bruises? (I mean sometimes pinoys would even take a selfie or ‘check in’ in facebook even in a hospital, so getting a photo evidence shouldnt be difficult). You wouldnt get any police report over that incident as most pinoys wouldnt bother, but if it wasnt my money, i would definitely report it.

Next, if you still want to continue with the relationship, dont send her any money regardless of what it is - if its for visa application, you can pay it online using your credit card, if its her flight, you can book it from here etc.

Lastly, here is an angle I would like you to think about - a lot of filipinos dream of going to the uk - seeing the sights etc. do you think would she risk that opportunity for that amount of money or not?

Thank you kindly everyone who have contributed to this thread with your thoughts and suggestions.....I am a little overwhelmed with so many if I am honest. I have read all and it has helped me look in other areas.
I apologize for not writing things more clearly. Here is what happened below....
I sent my girl money for her savings account to show she had savings to cover her costs on UK trip. She already prepared family letters to support her.. employment letter...and all my bank/proof documents. This was the last document need ie saving statement before applying for uk tourist visa.

She was about to send it back to me £1100. But didn't know she could transfer it back via her bank account using Western Union. She naively thought she had to take cash out and take it to western union office a few miles away. She put cash in her bag and not far from her bank at a busy road junction she was targeted by men on 2 mopeds who stopped in front of her and snatched her bag containing money. She held onto bag. Was dragged along road a distance.
Police were called who helped her to hospital. In her bag she lost cash.. smartphone ...Id and other personal items. She was treated in hospital for grazes and a cut to her head. She was in hospital from Friday to Monday.
No Picture of her hospital stay because her phone was stolen. But once home her mama took pictures of her bandages to send to me.
But I am suspicious...I had friend phone hospital. They said yes she was there on that day but was discharged. But no more details because we were not family.
I emailed the local police station but they didn't reply. She refuses to detail the whole incident because she is ashamed and thinks I should trust her version is cirrect. She has told me some details but not all. Her mama is also upset I suspect them of scamming me. But I automatically thought maybe this is the case? The fact they won't give me more details makes me think there is something wrong?

I need to know what is true before it destroys us. I want to believe her but....I keep running it through my head and negative avenues come up. A poster above mentioned this might happen. I just need more proof.
This family have been fabulous up until now. Very religious decent etc not put a foot wrong. But they are poor with a disabled brother in house. Was the temptation of my £1100 just too much?

£1100 is around Php 77,000. It's a big amount. As I've said, it's not the suspicion or trust issue whatsoever. If they want to clear things out, why not give full details? And as I've mentioned earlier, it would be better if you visit them instead. From there, you can decide if you still want to continue the relationship or move on.

Yes that's why I am so upset by it. not a small amount. 6 months wages in Philippines. But there's the Trust issue to. Double whammy. Why can't she understand I am not questioning her Trust alone...,i need to understand every aspect of what happened. Why won't she tell me? She is stubborn to the point that I don't trust her word....she can't get over that.

When I said, it's not about the trust issue, I meant it's not the main point. It's not the real problem. It was her not telling you all the details. You have the right to know everything coz it's your money. You're not even married yet. If you feel that something is wrong, most probably there is.

so what was the hospital bill ££??

He has not even met her yet, despite sending boatloads of money for a whole year.

Your have only one option @Callen ,
- Fly to the Philippines to meet the lady, go next week.
- Be prepared to walk away if you suspect anything is amiss.

Good luck.

Btw, does she have a passport?