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Having a baby

Discussion in 'Relationship Advice' started by Gingert76, Aug 27, 2019.

  1. Br28016
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    Br28016 Active Member Trusted Member

    Probably the most important things is how old is she now, how long have you been together and your view on what you would do for her and child if split up.

    The most important fact you need to know is parental responsibility in the event you split up having had a baby outside of wedlock. Basically you have no rights over the child. If anything happens to her then her parents get the child. If child is in UK then things change as comes under UK law where if your name is on birth certificate then you have parental responsibility.

    Child will have Filipino nationality if born in Philippines and you should be able to get them a British passport but you will need to do a fair bit of work to do it.

    Whilst even further down the line, if child is born in Philippines cannot pass on British citizenship unless next generation is born in the UK.

    Best option is to be there for birth to ensure your name goes on birth certificate.
    Child can then use your surname which makes life easier even though would be illegitimate.

    Think carefully about that one as if there is a significant chance of splitting up and still in Philippines or she returns with baby then can have no access to the child afterwards.

    If your name is on birth certificate and you split up then can cause problems for child if mother looks to move abroad as a number of people have had issues getting visas for children in that circumstance.

    Best advice is don't have a child outside of wedlock unless you are prepared to support it. Worst case scenario is ends up with girls parents and they can use the child to extract money from you and you never see the child.

    If you are thinking of moving child and mother outside Philippines need to be married and child legitimate.

    Other option to get married is to do outside Philippines when age does not potentially apply but could still be tricky as Philippines immigration can stop her leaving .

    Best advice is take time and don't rush these things.
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  2. Gingert76
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    Gingert76 New Member

    this is my last post, i did not ask for advice on if i should have a baby or if we should marry, i asked for advice on the legality of the baby, citizenship, etc etc, i am an adult hence why i do not need to tell anyone how we got to this point. there has been no advice apart from i need to tell you guys what has happened between her and her parents as its much worse than being locked in a room, or the fact their and my financial situation, or the fact there are a lot of years between us so should i really be allowed to be with someone her age, and how long we have known each other so i can justify why we want to marry
  3. Gingert76
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    Gingert76 New Member

    that is why i asked for advice so i know legally how i can protect her and the child if we split up, what happens once we marry etc. Thank you Br28016 as that is the advice im asking for, dont you people think we have talked and talked about the age gap? and the fact i have known her for years, but i do not need to justify any of that to anyone
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  4. graham59
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    graham59 Banned

    DRAMA.

    You will fit in well, here in the Philippines. :rolleyes:
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  5. Mattecube
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    Mattecube face the sunshine so shadows fall behind you Trusted Member

    do you want me to respond to the pm you sent me?
  6. Markham
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    Markham Guest

    So, don't plan on a Philippine wedding. You can get married in Hong Kong which has a number of advantages - you won't need her parents' permission (but she must be over 18) being but one. But you will need to stay in HK for around 5 days and you will need 2 witnesses. More details on the Hong Kong Immigration web site.
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  7. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    you seem very concerned about the age gap--but none of us are. a lot of us have years--or decades in my case--between us and our wives
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  8. Gingert76
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    Gingert76 New Member

    i have zero concerns on the age gaps, why do you insist on switching words? other people have mentioned the age several times, i am more than happy with her no matter her age
  9. Mattecube
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    Mattecube face the sunshine so shadows fall behind you Trusted Member

    welcome to the site @ginger76
  10. Gingert76
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    Gingert76 New Member

    Hi Markham, never knew or even thought about the HK route so will def look into that based on new information i received today, thank you Mattecube for the advice and PM
  11. Markham
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    Markham Guest

    The cost is about the same as a Register Office wedding in the UK though the setting is a bit more luxurious (if you choose Central as the venue). You can apply online but will need to send the application form and banker's cheque for the fees (in HK$). You both need to arrive in HK 4 days before the wedding and have an appointment with Immigration 3 full days before (ie on your first full day in Hong Kong). If you're having your fiancees friends as witnesses, they should arrive the day before. (Filipinos do not need visas for Hong Kong).

    Thinking further ahead, you should plan to be present at the birth of your child. The Passport Office place quite a bit of weight on early photos of the 3 of you. And your fiancee needs to keep all her medical records including scans as copies will be required for its British Passport (you should apply for the baby's Philippine Passport first as that is also required).
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  12. Daveyw1988
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    Daveyw1988 Active Member

    Trust me...age is not an issue and like other Have said I’m sure a lot have A huuuuuge difference and still happy married...just as your circumstances are abit iffy with your miss and her family...we aren’t judging at all...we just want insight
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  13. Gingert76
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    Gingert76 New Member

    but what is insight? we have known each other and been together for a long time now, age means nothing to both of us but as i tried to point out to BigMac before he/she turned the words around, anyone with a age gap talks about it because funny enough i wanted to make sure she would be ok with the odd looks and possibly some comments she will no doubt get in the UK, i.e. i bloody care about her more than anything so of course we talked about that and everything else in between but the words get twisted, we have no issue with it but people will and ive already had family and friends who do and that is part of life but i do not need to come on here and justify that to anyone is what i am saying.

    our circumstances arent iffy, as i said there is heaps of background i will tell no one as its personal to us, but i appreciate what you mean and if you read some of the posts they are ment to be antagonizing (and that is putting it mildly) which is very dissapointing to read. the quest around the baby is exactly like a couple of people have posted i want to understand the implications for all three of us BEFORE we decide what to do hence why i am here posting.

    im willing to share a little info like i have done but i am not willing to post all the details on here as its none of people business and im just asking about what happens if we have a baby so i can ensure me, her and the baby can be happy come what may, its perfectly sensible to ask questions and plan accordingly before deciding what to do..........accurate information is everything to us!
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  14. Mattecube
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    Mattecube face the sunshine so shadows fall behind you Trusted Member

    @Gingert76 a few points before you look in detail at marryingin HK.
    After marrying your then wife would have to return home ( potentially hostile environment) and await visa applications and results..... is this a feasible option?
    you mention bringing your good lady over to the UK and then periodically living in India you need to be aware anyone on a UK visa is only allows to be out of the UK for a certain number of days in a 12 month period, I think it's 195 days.
    what you could do is apply for a fiancee visa and bring her over for 6 months in that time you marry and apply for a spouse visa. there are other options but in general they mean returning to the Philippines.
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  15. PorkAdobo
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    PorkAdobo Active Member

    Hopefully it's not *too* long if she's only 20!

    Apologies if I offended you. I don't care one iota about the age gap. If I can maintain a 60 year age gap when I'm 80, I'll be a happy man.

    However, with your story, I thought the current age of the girl was (and is) of significance. If you make a lengthy post covering so many topics- baby, hateful parents, demands for money, India- you can't really expect people not to comment.
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  16. florgeW
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    florgeW Lady Mod Senior Member

    my advice, marry first if you are truly truly sure that you are meant to be together.. I had difficulty adjusting to life here and there are so many times that I wanted to pack up ang leave... settle all the necessary visas for her to be able to come to the UK, then have the baby. For me, bringing a child early on would complicate things, and believe you me, even if she says she wants nothing to do with her parents, that isn't necessarily absolutely true. We, Filipinos have a strange bond with our families, even if we are not that close to all of them, especially true to those who are born and raised there.. it is cultural, i'm afraid. but that's another thread perhaps. Good luck. Lots of information available in this forum.
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  17. Druk1
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    Druk1 Well-Known Member

    India has massive culture shock,far far more than the UK,pinays fit in here quite easily,india is a slap-in-the-face when you first arrive and think WTF :eek::eek:
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  18. florgeW
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    florgeW Lady Mod Senior Member

    hahaha.. well, it took me years to adapt to life here.. when I started sweating on a 'hot' day, that's when I knew I am officially a local!
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  19. Markham
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    Markham Guest

    Your age difference is not a particularly high number, don't worry about it and don't dwell on the issue.

    Mattcube makes a very valid point concerning your ladies' whereabouts upon her return from Hong Kong. Unless she's going to pretend that her sojourn to Hong Kong was simply a few days at Disney World and some Great Wall hiking, home is probably not the best place to be. It will be more than awkward for her and the very last place you should venture full stop. Please give that some serious consideration.
  20. florgeW
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    florgeW Lady Mod Senior Member

    speaking of Hongkong, you may want to wait until tue civil unrest has died down.

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