It's no problem, Maria Lotis. Things will be unclear for you at the moment but hopefully will get better.
Hi Maria Lotis, it's very sad to her your situation and I'm very sorry... You are probably very stressed oh my gosh darling I experienced almost same kind of traumatic situation before. Try to clear your mind, talk to your friend and Aposhark is right, go to the nearest citizen advice. Why did he leave you? What happened? You can talk to us here. Be strong and do not go back in philippines unless everything is settled, talk to your husband see if you still work things out.. If it can't be fixed then talk to a proper adviser. Don't just moan and cry do something, make sure you are safe.
Thank you Erica for your advice... Yes it is very painful and disturbing to me... I got tired the way he treating me,he did not treat me as his wife,he was very selfish and controlling to me. He was divorced twice first wife is English and second is french..He got five children on first wife ,and he got two sisters and my mother in law, one of my problem is his family is interfering to us,which I think they don't like me as I came from poor country at mababa un tinging nila sa akin.He controlled everything like my food,needs and even about finding a job,his the one who choose it which at first I don't mind coz I thought he loved and cared me.I am shy and quiet person,easy to be with ,i tried to be a good wife and always say yes to him that i did not know its already abused.I been more than 1 year in the country now but still cannot talk to my parents,i asked him to use the telephone before when I got here to let my family know that I am ok but he refused it and disconnected the telephone until now,He just used it when he need the telephone then disconnected again,he put also 4 cameras in our room that's is now disconnected because I complained,1 camera facing in the bed which is in the cellar where we sleep,1 facing front of the house and two cameras in our living room.Fear,doubt and no trust that's what I feel. I tried to talk to him call,text emails but he don't answered since he left but he told my sister in Hongkong that were done.. Im sorry Erica na sau ko naopen to wala kasi ako kausap ngayon at magdamag hindi ako makatulog...I will not make my story long now as I feel emotional...Thanks again...
Oh my love, I had a goose bumps reading your mail. ...my dear I dint know that the situation is that worst. Hayop ang asawa mo!! You are emotionally, financially, mentally abused, he disconnected the phone so you can't call to your family in philippines, and even put a camera on your bedroom, that is dangerous as he can record whenever you make love. My dear gather all evidences you will use that when you file a divorce, he doesn'twant you to get a job so youwon't have your money and you'll be dependent to him. Go to CAB or to police, file for what happened tell them everything , you can use that again as the evidence for divorce. You have to be so strong, my love I know it's so hard you are alone there and it's a foreign country try to get a grip do what you need to do, talk to authorities get a proper advice on what to do. Wala Kang kakampi jan, sarili mo lng kaya mgpakatatag ka. My first relationship was so abusive, cheating and stuffs until I found my way out, I was so depressed for almost 6 months I thought there's no more life, I loved the guy so much but I had to think of what will be good for me and what I deserve so even it kills me to leave me, still I walked away and found my husband now thank God. Pray my dear, pray for strand courage you will need that. Talk to your family in Phil find a way to contact them they will be one source of strength. It's goo that you messaged your sister in Hong Kong. Be calm, fix yourself, eventually your husband will come home, don't get a divorce yet if he told you to go find a new place to stay then ask mo eyes from him. Find a job, please my dear get yourself a job. I hope you can still apply for FLR so you can stay longer and will have enough money. Mag ipon ka, pacitizen ka muna, lumaban ka ate!! Wag ka padala sa emosyon mo. Laban lng!!
If he is a creep like this then you are not that unlucky it is finished. Some men like that turn violent when their possessiveness is challenged. I strongly suggest you contact Women's Aid, even before CAB. They will have dealt with many in your situation before. I would suggest you call them today. They are used to dealing with confused and upset women who don't know what to do. My mother used to work for them. Domestic abuse is illegal and laws are stronger in the UK on this matter then they used to be.
The guy sounds like a damned monster. Citizens Advice Bureau (plus local council may be able to advise). Perhaps a lesson here for all ladies thinking of leaving their home country and family to marry a man without KNOWING him properly first. edited to add: 'Women's Aid'... yes, agree on that one. I couldn't think of the name before.
Hi Maria. I'm sorry for your situation. This is what I think. Firstly, I feel that you should just step back and relax. There may be a chance to talk things over with your husband and repair things if you can communicate well. From a practical standpoint, you are not obliged to leave the UK just yet. Once your current spouse visa expires (presumably in another year or so) , then if your husband does not sponsor you and/or you are not living together (but you are not divorced) then you will not be able to remain in the UK. If you are planning to divorce then the only way that you could remain would be if you had a documented history of domestic violence and a finalized divorce for reasons of domestic violence. Domestic violence does not need to be physical - it encompasses a range of controlling and threatening behaviours. There exists a way under the immigration rules that you could remain in the UK if you were forced to divorce because of domestic violence. The main problem with these claims is that it needs to be documented - it's not necessarily going to be enough to claim that you were the victim of 'emotional abuse' - you need evidence. I also believe that you would only be able to apply under those rules once the relationship was terminated and a decree absolute was produced. The reason for the termination of the marriage should be on the basis of domestic violence. Obviously physical abuse is easier to prove because it involves police reports and so forth. I suggest that you immediately take photographs of the cameras that are around your home. If you want to take things further by applying for divorce and then leave to remain under the domestic violence rule then a solicitor would have to help you with that. Since you are here on a spouse visa, you are able to work. I would suggest that you try and get a job so that you can save up money to return home (or pay legal fees) if that it what you need to do, and also gain money for you to support yourself in the meanwhile. I also agree that speaking to someone like Citizen's advice and other organisations might be useful. It certainly can't hurt. I would try hard to reach out to your husband to fix the situation. I do not agree with other posters that you should divorce right away. In any case, if you do divorce (and its not for reasons of domestic violence or you weren't granted ILR because of it) then you would have to leave the UK in any case. So I suggest that you make it your first priority to understand what is happening in your relationship and what you can do to fix it. You have months and months of time to do that. I'm sure my wife @BlueberryCheeseCake would be happy to talk to you privately if you wanted.
Hi Maria,wow your Husband really creeps me. I am so sorry about your situation right now . Stay brave kabayan, I hope and pray God will comfort you in this midst of this crisis. Just stay strong there is always sunshine after the rain as what my father always say. God bless you Maria and try to stay positive . Hugs...
Maria, You should be able to send private messages to the Filipina ladies here. Nobody else will be able to see what you write except the people in your private message. Hope this helps.
Having just read the entire thread first CaB is a good Idea second dont leaver the family home unless you feel threatened and if that happens report it to the police on a legal note your husband sponcered you and is responcible to maintain you (support to live) untill you can perhaps support yourself there are plenty of jobs in Taunton from fast food to care homes Im sure you could get a job quickly If he fails to support you in the meantime that would be a possible indication of controling abuse CaB will help but again dont move out unless you feel threatened and report it
as I remember sabi ng asawa ko kokontakin daw niya uk embassy pra daw icut off un visa,is that possible to happen?
If I understand you correctly you are asking if your husband can have your visa terminated early. I do not think so. You are still married. It is worth pointing out that if your husband has left you with no income then you do have the option to file for divorce on the grounds of abuse and abandonment and ask the court for pendent lite maintenance - short term maintenance from him to buy food and so on. A solicitor will have to help you with that too.
I mean he wants to inform the uk embassy about our situation that he is not sponsor of my visa anymore
