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Divorce

Discussion in 'Relationship Advice' started by Erica, Mar 23, 2016.

  1. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member


    reality check time.

    @Erica --i cant see how you can divorce your husband--it will cost you money you havent got--and will not be recognised in the philippines--so you wont be free to marry anyone else--even if you wanted to. as i said previously--better for you to sue him for maintenance--that might persuade him to divorce you--which will be better for you. then you can still sue for maintenance--ha ha.

    it seems to me he had regrets about marrying you---so wont pay to bring you over as his spouse. theres really nothing you can do about it--except wait for him to meet someone else--then he can try to divorce you--on grounds of separation. which is 2 years with your consent--or 5 years without. thats what my partner did here in the UK to her philippino husband--which cost her £1000 in fees---and STILL DID NOT COUNT in the philippines.. so she then got an annulment---which took 18 months and cost another £2000.

    so meantime--enjoy your freedom--but avoid getting involved with another guy till your marital mess is sorted out.
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  2. Erica
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    Erica Member

    Yes he has regrets marrying me, our relationship is so fast I'm thinking he gor shock on the responsibilities and wanted to throw me away.
    I'm not going to divorce him cause I know that won't count here in philippines, he will be the one t divorce me Nad he should include that I am free to remarry.
    I will be the one to pay for the recognition of foreign divorce in the philippines which is costly, I don't know how will get money for that.

    Yes I don't want to get involved in any man while I'm still in divorce process, I want to regain myself and take time to heal.
  3. Erica
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    Erica Member

    I have to ask, how much will the quickie divorce in England will cost?
  4. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    i did mine myself--without using a solicitor ( lawyer ) the court fee was about £450-----that was in 2013. i filed for 2 years separation with consent. she had left me--and was keen to divorce too.

    the quickest way to divorce--if you dont want to wait the 2 years--is for your husband to sue for adultery. he doesnt need to name a co-respondant if you agree to it.

    but this may not be --at all--want you want. please dont take offence at the suggestion.
  5. Erica
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    Erica Member

    Hi @bigmac I don't want anything at all but the divorce, I want to be free soon as I can so I can work with the recognition of foreign divorce here in philippines as it might take time and I don't want to get stuck. I wnat to live my life.
    I would be happy if he will give me a bit of money so I can work for the petition of foreign divorce but it might look too much for him or I'm asking him too much.

    Yes sue me for adultery is fine with me, tho we don't asking have much evidence as I really didn't commit adultery, I have 3 mails from my ex.

    How quick did you get divorced?
  6. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    my divorce took a few weeks to process--to what is called decree nisi--then another 6 weeks to finish--called decree absolute.

    if your husband is willing to divorce you for adultery--he doesnt need to prove it or provide the name of the other man--called the co-respondant---provided you agree to the petition--and dont "contest" it.

    but you both need to be in complete agreement about this----its so easy for the whole thing to turn messy and expensive--when it neednt be.

    i'm not a lawyer or solicitor--what ive said is only my opinion. if you have any doubts or concerns--its better to consult a divorce specialist in the UK--not the philippines--or you will still be in the same mess for expensive years to come.
  7. Maharg
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    Maharg Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    There's also the unreasonable behaviour' option, where one party comes up with reasons and the other accepts the divorce but dies not accept the reasons.

    Divorce can then carry on but the grounds carry no legal bearing on what happens.
  8. Anon04576
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    Anon04576 Well-Known Member

    Is adultery a viable route for a Filipina living in the Philippines? I mean wouldn't it leave Erica in a slightly vulnerable position with the authorities.
  9. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    good point.

    i really think her only hope is if her husband wants to be single again--and is prepared to do something about it.
  10. Markham
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    Markham Guest

    Why should Erica care what her estranged husband wants? Why should she make it easy for him when it is he who promised her a new and better life as his wife in a foreign country and then, whilst waiting to see if her Visa has been granted, he changes his mind about the whole thing, concocts a massive row and wants a Divorce on the grounds of her alleged adultery? A divorce that he wants her to pay for. To hell with that, I say!

    No way should Erica accept fault. She has not committed adultery - three emails to an ex-boyfriend do not constitute adultery - and she absolutely has to contest that if he cites that. Halo-Halo makes a very valid point regarding adultery and the effect that could have on her - and her liberty - here. Although in fact I wonder whether a half-sane judge would accept "adultery" as being the grounds for divorce in this case when he discovers that its basis is three emails. But Erica can not afford to take that chance.

    The husband is obviously one whose brain resides in his underpants and he found Erica on an online dating site. After a few weeks, he came here and discovered she was everything he imagined her to be - and so much more. The more he was with her, the more he wanted to be with her and soon he couldn't imagine his life without her. So he proposed marriage and, because he feared someone else might snap her up, rushed her into marriage - within a few days of their first real life meeting. Money talks here, remember folks, and Marriage Licences can be "fixed". He returns home and still in his euphoric state and rose tinted spectacles still in place, he initiates the Visa procedure and they submit her application. Once this rush is over, he has time to think and meet with his friends and family who, upon hearing his news, seriously question his sanity and tell him to "break it off because you'll ruin your life" and other similar pithy epithets. Ego deflated he finds an exchange of three emails between Erica and a former boyfriend and weaponises this discovery - rather than his own stupidity - to "cancel" her Visa and demand divorce on the grounds of her alleged adultery.

    It may have been unwise for Erica to exchange emails with an ex now that she's a married woman but her only real "crime" was that she trusted an immature and controlling man. I would suggest that the loss of her marriage and with it an opportunity for a better life is a greater punishment than she deserves.
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  11. Erica
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    Erica Member

    I am still very speechless on what's going on.......
    I feel drained....

    I have a question to ask, Guys, Everyone here I need your answer..
    Let say he will want to re-apply again for a spouse visa for me, while he canceled our previous application..do you think there's a possibility that the visa will be granted?
    Our agent say that it will be almost impossible for me to get a visa granted since he canceled our previous application and the British embassy have that in their record. How true that it will be almost impossible for me to be granted?

    @Markham thank you so much for understanding my case...it hurts deeply far more than I can explain...to have people who understands me is deeply appreciated.
  12. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    It would be useful to get your husband's side of the story @Erica ....can you suggest he joins the site?
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  13. Micawber
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    Micawber Renowned Lifetime Member

    There can be no UK divorce until you have been married for at least 12 months.
    Then there needs to be agreed and legally accepted evidence that the relationship has permanently broken down.

    In UK there are only 5 grounds for a divorce:-

    Adultery
    Unreasonable behaviour
    Living apart for more than 2 years and both agree to the divorce.
    Living apart for at least 5 years. Even if the other spouse disagrees to divorce.
    Desertion. Means your spouse has left you:-
    • without your agreement
    • without a good reason
    • to end your relationship
    • for more than 2 years in the past 2.5 years
  14. Erica
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    Erica Member

    Yes Sir, Im aware of that, I don't want to be stucked 2.5 yrs with him so I'm going to file the Annulment here in Philippines.
  15. Timmers
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    Timmers Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    Oh no we don't want that, It'll be like Emmerdale, Coronation St and East Enders all rolled into one :)

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