A dad who has a Filipina wife mentioned that his wife was an excellent homemaker, and stays at home looking after both him and the home. He felt that if she went to work she might leave him for another man, a younger man or a man who could provide. So how many members who’ve managed to get the Filipina into their own country are keeping her, and what proportion have allowed them to work? Considering the age cap what works best? What does the Filipina wife expect of her husband? This happens mainly in countries outside the Philippines.
I don't "keep" her, as this sounds like a pet over which I have full control. Trisha the dog is booked in to be spayed soon which is not something I would do to the wife. The wife, though, is an excellent housewife. Some minor annoyances (using knives instead of a tin opener) but overall a far higher standard than my own mother and even my grandmothers achieved. If she wants to go and work, I would support her 100%. Currently, she has no interest. She does attend a few classes and swimming lessons. I have no fears at all that she will run off with the instructor. For a start, she knows it would screw up her visa at this early stage. Secondly, she has waited a long time to settle into normality after a bit of a dysfunctional life. What she has now is the sort of mundane and ordinary life that she has always wanted to project to her friends.
It was just in the conversation that I had with her, she said that her last husband who supplied everything to her, had bought her everything that she needed from her knickers up...... I joked with her after that, as it wasn't literal...... I understand with a leap of faith I will take on all the family, her parents needs etc.... In the Philippines this is entirely possible, in Spain possible, in the UK a stretch..... Though there is some flexibility to work in Uk.
Allowed her to work? You don't "allow" your wife to work. It is up to her. What a bizarre concept of marriage some people have. I met one old man who has a Filipina wife, and he won't allow her to learn to drive. He says she is "too old" but, I reckon, he wants to stop her being independent. Some people seem to want a carer/housekeeper rather than a wife.
Indeed. I’ve encouraged Asawa to integrate here as best she can. Luckily she met a friend at a Filipino Christmas part within a few months of her arrival, which helped. I encouraged her to do charitable work in order to get some real experience of real life in the UK. She looks after the kids, works, about to start University life with one of the best Nursing universities in the UK. She hasn’t mastered driving despite quite a few lessons but she understands the importance of driving especially for her career. I wouldn’t be worried if she ran off for whatever reason she chose. I can’t control her life or her goals and aspirations other than support her. She’s a good person who has given me the best kids I could ever wish for, that makes me happy.
my wife works full time--and has recently been promoted as deputy manager of a care home. her salary keeps her family back home--with plenty left over to fill our fridge freezer and my drinks cupboard. i bought her a car 18 months ago--she got a provisional licence--but thats as far as weve got . lessons will start this summer--after she finishes a very intensive nvq5 in management. as far as her meeting another man--why should she ? she knows when shes well off.
My wife works our choice, together we are excellent home makers! It's all about mutual respect and feelings for each other's culture. As has been said some want a carer a housekeeper or a trinket on their arm not a loving relationship. Mutual respect is key,after 5 years together we still feel we are on our honeymoon.
My first Filipina wife lasted 13 years before 'officially' finding herself another bloke. Probably one or two affairs before that. Always worked, from shortly after she arrived in the UK on a Spouse visa. Her choice.
Relationships are based on trust and a lack of trust is a poison that will eventually push people away, maybe into the arms of another. If you cannot trust your partner ( and you may have reason ) then it will eat away at you also. Whether someone works or not is irrelevant.
It was my wife's choice to work and I support her as much as I possibly can. As per driving.. That is a different matter, she has not got any sense of direction when in a car. She panics when we are overtaken by a lorry or I overtake it... She did have a Philippines driving licence (expired now) and to this day I am still baffled on how she may have passed a test. She is forever buying stuff to send over in balikbayan boxes, but strangely enough it ends up cluttering every spare inch of our pad. Fantastic cook, great home maker, loyal. Love her to bits
Do you actually need to pass a test to get a license in The Philippines? I thought you just had to bung a few quid in a certain direction and you'd get a license! My wife passed her driving test about 2 years ago and drives pretty well. I remember when she was learning, when she drove straight into someone's shopping trolley in Tesco's car park because she panicked and didn't know how to stop! She's come a long way since then!
That may have been true a few years ago but there was a purge at the LTO during the latter days of Gloria Arroyo's presidency and they're actually now rather strict.
my wife owned a motor bike before she came to the UK--and drove a friends pick up truck while she was back there on holiday. i dont think a licence was part of the deal.
Quite a few of my wife's family had motor bikes last time I was there, sometimes having 3 or 4 people on one bike. I'm not sure they have even considered the possibility of getting a license at any time. I was riding round on one myself too. I have a bike license for the UK, but I'm not sure if it would qualify me legally there.
Yes, you should be able to drive a motorbike using your British licence for a period of up to 90 days after arrival in the Phils.
Larry, it comes down to joint decisions, if she wants to work then so be it, its also a way she can meet other people outside of the marriage, and it relieves you of any responsibility towards her family, My wife does NOT believe i have any responsibilty towards her family but then they get off there backsides and work, I do from time to time help the Mother in Law with help towards improving the house for which she is very grateful, I have said before they have never ever asked me for 1 pesos, I realise i am very lucky in that respect. Larry dont let your Fiancee or her family regard you as a way towards an easy life, remember your Fiancee has 2 Houses it would not in my humble opinion be to much to expect her to sell one off to clear those Medical expences from her previous marriage.
Larry I think you have major issues with this relationship your forming. You have just come out of a very difficult situation in a previous relationship with the nurse and her kids, and from the outside looking in it would appear you had been well and truly played by her so she could achieve her ambitions. Your new relationship, you say she overstayed in Spain, this is an issue not just in a visa application but I would guess also in travel arrangements. You talk about a huge leap of faith with her parents and kids, did you not take a similar leap of faith previously? I strongly suggest you don't even consider parting with any monies to help her family you may end up a broken man! From what you say she has 2 houses let her sell one or rent it out so she alone can finance her elderly parents well being. Suggest that to her and gauge her response, does she want het cake and eat it! Good luck with your decisions tread carefully
