Step back. It's clear that you trying to be involved (and do the right thing) is being counter productive. Make sure she knows you are there if needed, but just tell her she needs her own space. Give her an "out" so she saves face rather than blast her for being irrational, immature etc. Are you able to contact her family on social media? Maybe ping them a quick message that you want to be involved but her hormones or whatever are making things difficult. Again, don't crucify the girl. Give her that "out" so you can pick things up again later. Even if she ups sticks to the Philippines, this doesn't necessarily mean you'll have no contact with the kid. Especially if child support is dependent on this, most wouldn't cut you out of the kid's life entirely. If she decides to stay in the UK, the reality of working as a potential single mother could refocus the mind. Don't push to keep a relationship if there is still too much supplementary BS. The kid would grow up quite happily with a mother it lives with and father with whom it has regular contact.
Thanks for the advice, it’s appreciated. If I give her an ‘out’, I believe she will get together with another guy very quickly. She met a guy L in December, and after 3 weeks they both flew to PH for Christmas. Apparently he loves B now, and B says he’s a nice guy, but has told him that we are possibly getting back together. I don’t know if they still talk, or meet, but I assume he is lurking in the shadows. I’ve laid out a clear plan for B, and reminded her of it again today, showing 2 options how we can be together pre and post birth, where we’d live in UK or PH, and marriage. She didn’t really respond. She says she needs time to trust, but also that she’s not getting any younger. Unlike L. I haven’t been introduced to her small family, without a father figure. I don’t even know if they know that she is pregnant. Her plan is most likely to go to PH, but this could easily change depending on her mood. Today she accused me of not helping her financially, which is not true, I did offer all of my help and support early on and she replied, “we don’t need you”. She often finds reasons to argue, and I just don't know where the next argument will come from. I know she is quite hormonal at the moment. Yesterday said she hated me, and today she said she loved me, then she’ll miss me when I fly to Europe, it didn’t bother spending more time with me when I was fully available to her. There is a lot of sup BS flying around. My goal is to meet my child. Today she said she’ll send me a photo in the birth day, so that’s just perfect!
there’s more to come! I don’t ever air dirty laundry, but I feel anonymous here and I’m appreciative of people POV
Have you bought that ticket yet? Hurry up, you are self soul destroying by prolonging your own agony. I am starting to think that wisdom has been chasing you, but you keep outrunning it all the time.
i'm more than a bit confused about TinTin--a french fictional character i think TinTin says " I live in Europe and travelled to London to specifically see her today, she know that as I planned it 1 month ago." You live in Europe--France--?---yet you flit in and out of London at will. Are you a British citizen ?
Yes, I’m British born and bred and representative. Before Brexit, some Brits applied for European residency as part of the leave agreement. Warmer climate, cheaper beer, better living. I’ve never been to PH so I can’t compare.
Only other comment I am going to make about this, is that the whole thing seems a bit far fetched ie flying back and forth to London, the other guy and this woman flying to Phills just 3 weeks after meeting at an expensive and busy time of the year, I just think this could be someone having a bit of a laugh at our expense..
Gerry Springer was far fetched, my running account is all true, I wish it wasn’t. I have better things to do than analyse this relationship, but I have a child to think of.
I’m not from Belgium. I have homes in UK and Europe, so it’s easy to travel between places, my last flight to London cost 18€. I don’t know if that means I ‘flit’, or plan ahead?
Join PI@night Angeles city expats group tell them your story , they will cough humm, sounds like a drama on Phillipine T/V they do love a drama, is she a money grabber or likes designer clothes then posts it on facebook with photos that is one to avoid, they do change once over in the U/K, especiallly when they get a decent paid job, my wife is a teacher but so far still shops at primark and is not fazed by money , that is a good sign!!