Does anyone know how to raise a natively bilingual child?

Hi everyone.*

I know its been quite some time since i made a post on here, so i think I should do so now.*

So as some of you may know, my wife is due to give birth in about 6 weeks from now.

It's a girl, and her name is Zoe

We're very excited indeed.*

And i know obviously she will be a newborn etc, but I amnalready thinking of languages.*

I want Zoe to undertand and to speak Bisaya as well as English, as it will be advantageous and rewarding in so many ways for her.*

The problem I see is, most filipino children here cannot speak more than a few basic words and sentences in their parents' language. I teach many filipino kids and they have little to no knowledge or interest in their Parental language.*

Contrast that with the local "British Born Chinese (BBC)" who all typically speak their parents' language, English (of course), and often another Chinese dialect.*

Is it something in the upbringing?
Does anyone have any tips?

Many thanks to all

Tom.*

Please excuse all the asterisk in the OP. Its beyond my control. Thanks.

Thanks oss for the congrats

Looking forward to the harvest here

I find this topic a very interesting one.

Firstly, as an example, when my wife first came over we met a Filipina with two Fil Brit children of about 8 and 12 both who had no interest in developing their Tagalog. The mother was a bit dissappointed but accepted it as nothing much she could do about it. And the reason is simply that for everyday use they don't need it. Their mates don't speak it (always a big factor in anything with children) and to communicate fast and effectively it is just English that they need. I think this is quite common here in the UK.

Secondly, when I left school I could speak a little french to get by, but that was it. I then worked and holidayed in many countries over a number of years. I even worked with a completely Russian outfit in Libya and communicated through an interpreter. Apart from one stint where I worked with an all french crew of people I always spoke English, whether it be Russians, Angolans, Swedes, Danes, French, Spanish, Indonesian, Filipinos etc etc that I was with. Should I have attempted to learn each of the languages as many people might say? In theory maybe but in practice, virtually impossible. We are blessed here in the UK that our native language is one that a huge chunk of the world speak. That is an advantage and a disadvantage. The advantage is that we can, more often than not, get our point across in English in many parts of the world. The disadvantage is it makes us a bit lazy, linguistically.

We have decided not to even try and teach our daughter Tagalog. The only misgiving we have on that is that her grandmother can't speak any English. Other than that our daughter will learn English here and some languages at school, in the same way that her school mates will. We have of course taken that decision on the back of our decision to remain in the UK and not raise her in the Philippines, though thinking about it I sense that in the future, English will quite likely be quite dominant in the Philippines, moreso than now and thus wouldn't be a big handicap at all.

I also think this. To teach a Fil Brit child that is born here in the UK, say Tagalog or Bisayan, at least semifluently, will soak up a lot of time. Would that time not be better spent on say Maths or Science?

Another point is this. When both my children from our my previous marriage were in their earlier years, the teachers used to say that the quicker the child learns to read (in English), the quicker they learn in any other subject. They have a head start but I would imagine that throwing Tagalog into the pot at an early age would stifle that.

If your wife wants the child to learn her native tongue badly enough then the littl`n will learn and learn quickly.
Its entirely up to her though!

Hi Tom,

Good news on your side there

My wife and I have two little ones (approx 3 and 1½ years old) and it seems very natural for my wife to speak to them in English and Cebuano.
Our daughter is like a sponge and soaks up words faster and faster as the months go by.

She will probably have many things to say in Cebuano when we re-visit the Phils in some years' time.
Her Lola and Lolo will be quite shocked then.

I encourage my wife to bring them up as she wants, after all it is the mother who is the nucleus of the family especially regarding kids.

It would be nice to find a good English/Cebuano teaching course somewhere. I haven't been able to find anything yet.

Actually, yes I do.

It is NOT easy to achieve, but I have two friends, he American, she Taiwanese, who managed it perfectly with their son who is now in his mid-twenties.

They studied the subject, and told me that a child can have up to eight "relationship languages". The critical point is that the child uses a language for a relationship. So although Mike and Becky are each very fluent in both Mandarin Chinese and American English - Mike worked as a DJ in Taiwan and is the only non-Chinese I know who is perfectly fluent - they methodically addressed their son in their own language only, so he spoke Putonghua to his mother and English to his father, and when speaking to each other at the breakfast table etc they used both languages.

When the time came for him to go to school (they were living in Hong Kong) they sent him to the French school and in due course they moved to Paris for some years, so Zach is perfectly tri-lingual.

The reason why this so seldom suceeds is because almost all Asian mothers in international marriages move to using their husband's language - they see it as "more important" for their child to speak that language rather than their own.

Thanks so much everyone for your responses.

I think my first point goes to everyone:

(1) when i lived in my wife's city I picked up a good amount of Bisaya, so quite possibly I should also speak with Zoe in the language making it easier. I find myself and Mar speak with a strange Belfast English/Bisaya patois.

(2) @Januarius: i get the feeling you didn't read my OP when I mentioned about the families who really tried to teach their filipino language to the kids. @methersgate and @aposhark were much more helpful in this regard.

(3)@johnash :

I think it's a bit of a false dichotomy to say either they learn their parents' language or maths or science. Actually what i'm realising : as a teacher of music to kids and adults, is that most kids, esp the middle classes, are overburdened with too many extra curricular activities. The constant propensity for over reliance on entertainment channels also eats into time. I think the argument is more: what's more important, keepi g up with Nickelodeon or learning mama and lola's language?

@methersgate: it's really encouraging to hear what you say i plan to speak bisaya at home (to the level I am capable) to engender a culture of learning at home

Thanks.

Anyone else have any thoughts?

Ah, music. Probably a good example. My son, who is 14 has just successfully completed grade 7 on the trumpet. He doesnt spend a lot of time watching tv as his mom doesnt let him and they dont have access to Nickleodeon anyway. She channels his energy into worthwhile pursuits including football and karate. We havent encouraged him to develope any languages after his sister failed her degree in Russian.

Having said that, I see music as a language in more ways than one.

Another way of looking at this topic is to take the example of say, the Manx language, Manx Gaelic. It's definitely different and all around the Isle of Man it is on signs, shop windows, public transport. Everywhere. But nobody speaks it. I have never once heard anyone have a conversation in Manx. If you phone up Manx Telecom some dude will say Welcome to Manx Telecom first in English, then in Manx! Yet nobody speaks it. Why? Manx is effectively dead but something is pushing people to keep ahold of it almost for the sake of it.

Isn't that what is happening in the Philippines right now? Except at an earlier stage in the demise of local languages? Won't most Filipinos be speaking English as a matter of routine in 50 years time or maybe even sooner than that?

Not sure about that mate.

Yes, university educated people speak (a brand of) English in the Phils, but not many stick around in the 'sticks' where my inlaws are from

Oh and grade 7 at 14, that's something to be proud of!

Certainly is. He is hoping to take grade at towards the end of this year, though he will be 15 by then. That's the aim. He seems to have a good teacher.

One point that Mike and Becky found in their research and emphasised to me - each parent must stick to speaking to the child in their own language only.

They pointed out that most mothers from Southeast Asia regard their husband's language as "more important" and will tend to use that to their child - the upshot is that the child grows up monoglot in the father's language.

That is certainly what happened to mine.

I'll keep that tucked away Methersgate. You've been very helpful...

I presume you mean grade 8! That's wonderful. He does seem tohave a good teacher, but must also work very hard himself. Good stuff!!!

Kids will naturally pick up what languages they hear at an early age, there is no peer pressure on a nought year old to only speak English! If your wife has friends that speak her language and who visit often, then let them speak in their own language.

My ex-fiancee's sister's child was 4 years old when I went to the Philippines. He could speak Japanese because her uncle was Japanese and her aunt and uncle only conversed in Japanese.

Just make sure they are immersed in the language with native speakers from day one!

Agreed!!
3 kids to prove that you are correct!!