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Dear Wife and Dear Ex-Hubby

Discussion in 'Humour' started by dennie, Sep 24, 2010.

  1. dennie
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    dennie Member

    Dear Wife,


    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've
    been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
    it...


    These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you
    had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came
    home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your
    favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes and went straight to bed after watching all of your soaps.
    You don't tell me you love me anymore. You don't want sex anymore or
    anything, either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, what
    ever the cause I'm gone.


    Your Ex-husband


    P.S. Don't try to find me..Your sister and I are moving away to West
    Virginia together...Have a great life..

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Dear Ex-Husband,


    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
    you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far
    cry from what you've been.


    I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and
    gripping. I did notice your hair cut last week , the first thing that came
    to mind was "You look just like a girl!" but my Mother raised me not to say
    anything if you can't say something nice.


    And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my Sister because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50.00 from me that morning...and your silk boxers were $49.99.


    After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
    So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone.


    Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling
    life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.


    Signed...Rich as Hell and Free.


    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born Carl. hope that is not a problem.
  2. yuna
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    yuna Cat Lover Staff Member

    hahahah!!!! poor husband! :))
  3. Kuya
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    Kuya The Geeky One Staff Member

    There is actually a similar true story I read about a few years ago. a woman got fed up with her husband and divorced him, after having a few affairs she deemed her marriage unworkable.. Anyway, within days of the divorce becoming complete her then ex husband wins the Lotto..

    And so she went to the papers as the "unluckiest woman in England":D:eek:
  4. Major
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    Major Member

    Thats really funny hahahahaha, sheeeeeeeee hope that was real hahahaha lmao
  5. dennie
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    dennie Member

    Funny at times when you think there is nothing left for you a blessing arrives! :)

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