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Finding love and relationships for the over 60s

Discussion in 'General Chit Chat' started by CatchFriday, Mar 5, 2017.

  1. Timmers
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    Timmers Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    You just stated the facts Gerry, no more no less, I don't think any of us here are kidding ourselves, we all know that a old English codger would not get a look in with a young British girl, unless of course you have a tidy sum in the bank :)

    We know the score :)

    I must add though that my own financial security was on the agenda when I was thinking of bringing the missus to the UK, two incomes coming into the household are better than one, so we both win :)
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2017
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  2. graham59
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    graham59 Banned

    I'd have to be crackers to settle for an old hag when I can have a sexy young woman.
    Pretty simple really.... and I'm certainly not going to apologise to anyone for making the most of life's opportunities.

    You're a long time dead ! :like:
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  3. Anon04576
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    Anon04576 Well-Known Member

    I agree with what Gerry is saying but I think the dynamics may be changing slightly, certainly recently, and more so in the future possibly. I have seen guys who are relatively young, mid 30's, venturing to the Philippines. I suppose a mix of some wealth, propensity to be more liberal with their cash and an abundance of easy flights to many parts of the Philippines.

    I was 42 when I met asawa and hope we remain together until I pop my clogs many years from now, however if the situation arose that we didn't, I wouldn't be interested in wanting a western women again.

    Slightly off but a question. Given the choice if you had to choose between an Asian women or a western women, would you, or does it not matter for you?
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  4. Maharg
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    Maharg Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    From the way my wife talks about Filipino men, I don't think they would all prefer to be with someone of their own nationality!

    I am older than her, but I don't feel I'm punching above my weight either. Me and her were meant to be. I wouldn't be going through all this visa nonsense otherwise.

    The only problem with our relationship, for me, is that, as you said, I will almost certainly drop dead a long time before her. This is even the case with men when married to a woman of similar age. My mum is a year older than my dad, but my dad died 20 years ago and she is still going!

    I feel sad that I'll leave her on her own one day as we are totally into each other in a way I've never known before. She says she is only in the UK and will probably go back to the Philippines and her family were I to die, although that would probably change if we have a child.

    A large gap in age doesn't have to have any issues in compatibility despite what a lot of people like to think. When we met I was 49 and she was 25 and we had an instant rapport the likes of which I've not known before. That is why I married her, although I did say: 'Bloody hell, I'm old enough to be your dad!' when she told me her age.

    Mind you, as I pointed out to her the other day, she's not half my age any more so she is catching me up.
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  5. graham59
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    graham59 Banned

    I was late 30s when I started visiting the Phils.... and single. I have always preferred Asian or dark-skinned women. Probably goes back to my years spent in Malaya, as a child.

    These days it's probably as much the ( distasteful to me) behaviour and attitudes displayed by so many British women. Much of which would be more appropriate in a Rugby players' locker room.

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    Last edited: Mar 28, 2017
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  6. Scotschap16
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    Scotschap16 Well-Known Member

    Lots of honest comments in this thread!

    @graham59 -- shocking "hag" comment. Award yourself caveman of the week title! :p

    There are of course many intelligent & attractive women falling into the "mature" demographic.

    Kris is 22 years younger than me. I was not seeking a "younger model" or indeed a Filipina. Never been on a dating site in my life. I guess something just clicked when we found one another (probably my arthritic knee!)

    Thanks for thoughtful responses.

    G
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  7. Scotschap16
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    Scotschap16 Well-Known Member

    Hi @HaloHalo -- if the question in your final para was directed at me I can categorically confirm that it matters not one jot what my partner race or nationality is. I've had a few relationships down the years - some long lasting (like my marriage of 17 years) others more transient!

    Don't tell Krissy but what always works for me is feistiness, humour and, obviously, good looks. Fortunately my love has all 3 in abundance.

    Another point I would make is that I cannot coexist in an uneven relationship - I'm simply not interested in sitting on my arse being waited on hand and foot -- I need a soulmate to share life's ups and downs -- not a skivvy housemaid who I also get to sleep with. A relationship is a partnership and both parties will obviously bring different skills to the situation but I'm simply not interested in being with a submissive partner.

    I'll just a happily get my hands into the toilet bowl with a brush or make lasagne as I would cutting logs or fending off marauding bears!

    I've gone a bit off piste with my response but basically if a female ticks my boxes as above she can come from Motherwell, Manila or Manchester and I wouldn't give a stuff?
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  8. CampelloChris
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    CampelloChris Well-Known Member

    I'm in a similar situation to most of you. I'm 18 years older than Melody, and just as @Maharg says - when it's right, it's right. As he also points out, much of the behaviour of British women is a complete deal-breaker for me.

    There are many things I find distasteful about a British woman, and I could go into a (hopefully) humorous rant about them whilst putting my points across, but being as I'm hardly 'Catch of the Day', I'll keep my own counsel for once.

    I went on to a dating site, and only ticked the Philippines, primarily because of the lack of a language barrier. Melody and I had to endure the best part of two and a half years of being only able to build a relationship based on text messages, phone calls and emails. We celebrated our first wedding anniversary having spent a total of 16 days of our marriage, and 44 days in total physically together.

    I wouldn't have been able to build the depth of friendship and love with someone with whom we didn't share a common language or even an alphabet. Thai women are also (to me) very beautiful, as are the Koreans and Japanese, but the cultural differences are huge.

    Much of the prejudice we face (and it's been thankfully very mild so far) has been based on the ignorance of insular Brits, and fueled by jealousies. The Philippines - Pacquiao, Marcos and Duterte apart - doesn't register on most people's radar, and a few with any knowledge have simply commented that they 'are good workers'. Some are surprised to find out that she speaks English. Ignorance is bliss it seems, at least to some British people.

    Although we exchanged marriage vows, they didn't include the line 'Me love you long time'. Additionally, we have yet to discover whether Melody can fire ping pong balls to any degree of accuracy.

    Sorry to have gone away from the thread slightly - as I'm still under sixty at least for the next few years.

    To answer @HaloHalo - my own personal tastes lean towards Asian women, but of course, it had to be the right one.
    And @Scotschap16 - Melody does wait on me hand and foot, but that's because I have only recently (happily) found out that I do everything the wrong way anyway, and she prefers to make me a cup of tea rather than I make it myself and leave the spoon in the wrong place and drip tea on the floor from the tea bag and put the milk back in the fridge wrongly.

    She tells me that it's her duty to look after the home and her man. I can be out at work at 4am, or still be working at 3am. I'm not getting any younger and nor can I pick and choose when to work. Melody tells me that it's her duty to look after the home and her man and takes pride in making sure that I want for nothing. Who am I to argue with common sense like that?
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  9. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member



    I'm simply not interested in sitting on my arse being waited on hand and foot --
    a skivvy housemaid who I also get to sleep with.

    i know exactly what you mean---i'm the perfect opposite !
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  10. Timmers
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    Timmers Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    Well Chris I'm very disappointed in you, I insisted "me love you long time" were in the marriage vows :lol:
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  11. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member



    She tells me that it's her duty to look after the home and her man[

    absolutely ! and why deny her that pleasure
  12. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member


    he missed out the last bit-- " me love you long time--$20."
  13. Timmers
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    Timmers Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    I'd love someone to shout that as I walked down the road with my missus, it would make my day, apparently it did happen to one of the chaps on the forum but I've forgotten who :)
  14. CampelloChris
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    CampelloChris Well-Known Member

    I did have 'the chat' with Melody (or 'the text' as it was) to discover whether she might be imagining me to be some sort of wealthy guy on whom she could rely to provide her with the life of Riley.

    She told me she had figured out that I was skint, but fell for my wonderful charms anyway.

    We struggle on, but we struggle on together - something that's much easier to do if you're with the person with whom you should be.
  15. Maley
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    Maley Well-Known Member

    It is an amusing reading material.

    I guess in the end you just find your 'missing piece' on the other side of the world.
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  16. graham59
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    graham59 Banned

    Any man who thinks his Filipina partner will be some sort of servant, is deluded I'm afraid... certainly after the 'honeymoon' period. Women are very much in charge in the Phils. :eek:
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  17. CatchFriday
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    CatchFriday British Expat living in Alicante, Spain

    I put this topic up because I was propositioned here by a 60+ Filipina.
    I got married to a Filipina in 1998 - she was 42 when I met her and I was 45, and I met her in the UK. Unfortunately she got breast cancer and died in 2012. I found it extremely difficult. Fortunately her sister was with us. Perhaps that's one of the reasons why men go for younger women, more chance of survival.
    In the stories here that you have shared, the younger woman could still die before the older man.
  18. Bluebird71
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    Bluebird71 Well-Known Member

    Each to their own but if a girl half my age started showing interest in me, I'd be naturally suspicious and wouldn't take it further than a one night fling.
  19. Timmers
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    Timmers Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    At least you admit you'd have a bash at it before putting her on her bike :D

    I like honesty :)
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  20. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    when my late wife died--aged 58--in 2007---i was left confused--alone--and if left to my own devises i think i would have drank myself into oblivion.

    now i'm married again to a much younger girl---i have no worries on that score. when i pop my clogs she will be well provided for. eventually.
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