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Is this tampo?

Discussion in 'Relationship Advice' started by thingymejig2, Apr 14, 2019.

  1. thingymejig2
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    thingymejig2 Active Member

    Oh, this morning, I kissed her on the head while she slept. Usual morning routine. But typically, she'd be snoozing and always say, "Enjoy your day baby", or "I love you", or words along those lines. She pretended to be asleep.

    I left her a simple note in the bathroom, which simply said, "I love you" and went downstairs. While just about to leave for work, I heard her step into the bathroom and immediately throw the note into the bin. The fact she did that, as opposed to just putting it to one side, indicates to me that the problem is with me, personally. Not the UK, or family, or whatever.

    I just wish she could find the courage, strength, maturity, respect, to talk to me... o_O
    • Like Like x 1
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  2. graham59
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    graham59 Well-Known Member

    Hopefully things will improve for you with time. :)


    .
    post-21478-0-42486200-1555296934_thumb.jpg
    • Funny Funny x 3
  3. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    She has no children of her own

    shall i state the obvious?
  4. Mattecube
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    Mattecube I have no need Trusted Member

    Are you planning a holiday? Get your wife to look up places and write down good bad and why she wants to go there points, this will grow her English which will be good for confidence also places of interest don't you make these decisions ask her to do them and go through it.
    Is she able to meet you at work for lunch.
    Be creative and put the onus on her she will grow in confidence and knowledge of the UK
  5. Mattecube
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    Mattecube I have no need Trusted Member

    Tough question with no offence intended!
    You say it's a weight off your mind if she stays at home, does she feel stiffled by your view on that? Even controlled by you?
  6. Druk1
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    Druk1 Active Member

    I think a child with this woman is the last thing I would be planning to be honest.
    • Agree Agree x 2
  7. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    women are different--ive been told.
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. Mattecube
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    Mattecube I have no need Trusted Member

    I've had a few goes at finding out
    • Funny Funny x 1
  9. Druk1
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    Druk1 Active Member

    By your wife?The OP's relationship is in a state of flux,its not a warm loving place or doesn't sound so,thats the sort of environment a child should be brought into,a child isn't the answer,its not a cure-all to bring two adults together especially when ones childlike herself.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. Bootsonground
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    Bootsonground Well-Known Member

    Treat em mean,keep em keen..
    Start as you mean to go on or your life will be mush long term.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  11. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    All very true..but what i meant was maybe thats whats on her mind....not his..yours or mine
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. thingymejig2
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    thingymejig2 Active Member

    Okay, a quick update.

    She called me early this afternoon. Which I was not expecting, to be honest. She asked if I was okay, because she didn't want me to be worried about her while I was at work. She volunteered that she was okay and didn't want me to worry about her. She assured me that she loves me, and that she read the notes I left for her this morning. I didn't push it, but she explained it that, "she just didn't want to talk". Judging by her voice and tone, I think she's switched back to "normal mode".

    Very, very odd, and quite upsetting behaviour. But if it's just how she is every now and then (around 8~9 months since the last "episode"), and reading from how others deal with it (if it's tampo), then I can live with that. As one kind poster said earlier, I just need to remember not to take it personally and ignore her for the duration.

    On the subject of children. I would welcome a child, and she wants one too. Then she doesn't. Then she does. Then she doesn't... It's possible that having her period come around has disappointed her, but that started two or three days before this mood change/swing/nightmare. And to be fair, we have pretty frank discussions about the possibility of children, so I think she would just talk about it if it was on her mind. She currently wants me to get checked out in case I have a problem getting her pregnant!

    The situation with her being stuck at home, feeling stifled, or controlled. Well I don't know what I can do about that. I've suggested she go to the mall to buy clothes (or whatever). She doesn't want to leave the house without me (her words). She can't work yet, or take courses due to her visa status. As previously mentioned, my brother has offered to take her to church (well, I have too, before). I've suggested even just taking a walk around the local park to get some air. She doesn't want any of it. Aside from temporarily evicting her, I dunno how I can get her to go out. She's a very, very shy person.
  13. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    sounds as if you 2 are gradually tuning in to each other.
  14. Druk1
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    Druk1 Active Member

    How old are you both thingymejig?
  15. Markham
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    Markham . Lifetime Member

    May I suggest you get a dog ...
  16. Daveyw1988
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    Daveyw1988 Member

    That’s a good idea
  17. Tony James
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    Tony James New Member

    She needs one of these.

    https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/ius-intrauterine-system/

    My wife used to be a complete b**** with tampo, which is hormonal, but once she had one of these fitted she became normal again.

    Periods are very light and short - if they actually occur at all. Every now and then she will go into 'tampo-lite' but I can live with that.

    It will make life so much easier for both of you.
  18. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    Hi thingymejig2,
    Sounds like tampo to me and I think you will have to learn to live with it, or rather I should say that it is something that you will probably never be able to understand coming from the West, so these episodes are really ones to be endured.
    There is no solution to this being married to a Filipina. Try to enjoy the good times and stay out of the way when the crazy times come.

    Filipinas think we're nuts anyway!
  19. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    I agree that you have to fight fire with fire. Husbands should not be door mats and get trodden on all the time.
  20. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    periods are a bleedin waste of forking time.
    • Funny Funny x 1

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