Ok, I'll explain, but it won't be funny because the frisson and absurdity of that moment of understanding won't be there, same as any joke when one doesn't get it and there are lots of other jokes that pass over my head too John The first guy asked for water the second asked for something different because they are both talking to the bartender, the second asked for H2O too in other words H202 or Hydrogen Peroxide one of the most highly reactive oxidisers in existence. When I was really quite young about 11 years old, I discovered that Hydrogen Peroxide would react explosively with Potassium Permanganate, I went and asked my Chemistry teacher why and he couldn't explain it and this was a very smart guy but he hadn't done that experiment and didn't have an off the shelf explanation. My dad was a chemist and he also did not expect this particular reaction it was hugely exothermic and fascinated me, anyway I found out from my mechanics teacher that some torpedoes from the second world war which he was partly involved in designing were powered by a reaction very close to the Hydrogen Peroxide / Permanganate reaction so it was a known reaction, the by product was lots of steam because of the huge amount of heat generated so you had steam pressure to power the torpedo. Anyway I never did find out why it was so exothermic but I think it was probably because both compounds are strong oxidisers and I suspect that bringing them in contact with each other caused the Hydrogen peroxide to simply fall apart, the electron bond valence stuff would likely be a lot more complex than anything that is ever taught in a school. But anyway I was in stitches earlier when I got that moment of absurdity and understanding at the word 'too'
Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Liquid Tippex. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.
As the train pulled into Bradford station, I heard 2 people talking about how the city had lost its identity to immigration. I wanted to go and educate them about the positive influences that cultural diversity could have in a community, and the many ways in which us Pakistanis were integrating into British society. But I was too busy trying to get a good seat on the roof.
Yes a whole tooth is not ionic it is a large particulate, but the published joke reads the other way and while I typed these myself because they were all in pictures or at least most of them were, I wasn't spending a lot of time trying to be scientifically accurate.
I challenge the accuracy of the report. It claims that the crash happened just outside Dublin, but it would appear that it crashed in the dead centre of the city.
And one for Gerry........... (With apologies to any Scotsmen who may take offence!) A Scotsman appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything in your life of particular merit?", St.Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing", the Scotsman replied. "On a trip to the outskirts of Glasgow, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I asked them to leave her alone but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, then ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the s - - t out of all of you!' " St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?" "About three minutes ago."
Sorry mate but until the punch line it was one of those jokes that went completely over my head my apologies, I did find the initial non sequitur odd but amusing
As an Italian, I have heard all "eyetie" jokes, innuendos, tanks with 7 reverse and 1 forward gears, blah, blah, blah, , and then some... And, honestly, it doesn't really bother me. It only, slightly, annoys me when whoever tells the joke, doesn't smile........... But I don't do a song and dance about it, because it is all down to different senses of humour that we as individuals should be allowed to express, without fear of being branded racist, bigots or whathaveyou.... Lighten up, folks. Political correctness, in my view, has been creeping in worldwide, introduced originally by career apologists, sorry for something that happened 300 + years ago, now it has become the trend, and every Tom dick or harriet wants to be seen to be running this particular wagon... As I said somewhere else, for a tolerant society, we seem to be pretty intolerant against our own freedoms of speech
Guy begging outside a tube station with a sign that says Please Give Me Some Money As I,m Blind And I think I May Also Be Black
Paddy goes for a job on a building site. "Name??" asks the Foreman "ahhh shove the job up yer arse" says Paddy
Another Paddy ... and the foreman asks "Can you make tea??" "Sure I can" "can you drive a forklift" "how bigs the feckin teapot"
This morning on the Motorway, I looked over to my right and there was a Woman ......in a brand new Merc ...doing 65 mph ....with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!! I looked away for a couple seconds ....to continue shaving and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily. but she scared me so much; I had to put on my seat belt and I dropped my electric shaver which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In the confusion of trying to straighten out the truck using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile Phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs! Splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call. Damn Women drivers!
I heard on the radio this morning about a woman driving on the motorway in the wrong direction. Knowing that my wife would be driving along that road, I gave her a quick call to warn her. Her reply........."Not just one driving the wrong way, there are dozens of them...!!" I give up.
My next door neighbour told me she has phoned the Police because someone has been stealing her underwear off the washing line. Jesus... I absolutely sh1t her knickers.
