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Please Help.

Discussion in 'General Chit Chat' started by Oldhusband, Mar 17, 2019.

  1. Mystica
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    Mystica Active Member

    First of all, you are not married to the mother of your child.
    Second of all, your surname is not on the child's birth certificate.
    Third of all the child is only 4 years old.
    In general, you don't have rights to your child. The mother is Filipino and your child is born in the Philippines, under Philippines jurisdictions, if the mother of your child wish to take her child anywhere, you cannot stop this as you are not married to her and your child is not using your surname. and she can freely make her child use her future's husband surname. I am so sorry but that is the law in the Philippines if you are not married, you don't have rights to claim for child custody at all!

    In other words, you don't have a leg to stand on!!!
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2019
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  2. Maharg
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    Maharg Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    If she just takes them then it is child abduction.

    I went through this a bit when I was getting divorced. My ex got into a relationship with a guy who had kids overseas and they were threatening me with how they would move away and take my kids with them.

    I found out the legal position, and contacted them in writing, stating that they needed my permission to take them away and that I would not give it.

    My kids were younger, though, and spent half their time with me. If, as you say, the kids are teenage and actually want to go with their mum then it's a bit of a different issue. I don't believe a mother can poison her kids against their father though, despite what he might think. Kids aren't stupid.
  3. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member


    I don't believe a mother can poison her kids against their father though,

    believe me it happens. did it to me--so much that i have no relationship with my daughter--age 48 this year--ive never met her kids--only live 8 miles away. or my youngest son--not seen him since he was under 10--i doubt i ever will.
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  4. Oldhusband
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    Oldhusband New Member

    Thanks to all of you have contributed to this discussion.I've read through everything that has been written.For those who have asked,i am in my late 40s.

    I have stated that i am NOT on the birth certificate as the father,but i am ON the christening certificate as the father....i also have fotos of the Christening with me in attendance,not that it really counts for much,i guess.As for my being the biological father,i did used to live in the Phlippines with my ex and it is totally inconceivable that anybody else could be the father,not least the fact that my daughter bears an uncanny resemblance to myself.As for this nugget of info.....

    "I don't believe a mother can poison her kids against their father though,"

    Well that has not happened yet,but what she has done is totally block me out of my daughter's life,and i am sure that her plan will be to poison my daughter against me.

    I want to talk about three other points people have raised.

    1."He needs to move on with his life"
    2."How does he know he is the real father?"
    3.Contact her and let her know she does not have my permission to take my daughter out of another country.

    I will try and address those now..

    1.I have moved on with regards to my ex...you will be surprised to know that it was me who terminated the relationship,but that's not relevant i guess.

    2.I have addressed that point above.

    3.She is not acknowledging any of my attempts to contact her at all.


    Thanks again.
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  5. Markham
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    Markham Guest

    I suggested that you try to move-on with your life for the simple reason that trying to establish your (natural) rights of access to your daughter could become an all-consuming nightmare due, in part, to the Philippines' legal system which is weighted against foreigners.

    But if you do want to pursue the matter, I can give you the email address of a first rate lawyer who's more honest than most but his fee scale is similar to a barrister's. Although his offices are in Cebu City, he can and will travel. Send me a PM if you want to contact him.
  6. Oldhusband
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    Oldhusband New Member

    Thanks for the quick reply,Markham.

    Yes,it is fair to say that this situation has the potential to become an "all-consuming nightmare".

    I will have to think very carefully in the coming weeks about the course of action i have to take.
  7. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member

    The odds are stacked extremely unfavourably aginst you,

    Whilst markham suggestion to use a solicitor is sound, I would only go on that route if it was happening in any European country, where a degree of fairness is guaranteed by laws and constitutions.

    The Philippines, do have laws that weigh heavily against the "Foreigner", so your chance of succeding are close to none.

    I don't want to, unnecessarily, burst your bubble but there is a better chance of a cabbage jump suddenly up and bite you in the ar"e, than you being able to be with your kid again, if the mother doesn't want you to be.

    The only right that us foreigners do have in Phil, is to pay, pay, pay till our haemorroids bleed.


    Or as a long shot..........

    Make up a fake FB ID, search for your ex, send a message that you are prepared to pay such and such amount to be able to see your kid.......... But start very low.................. otherwise there won't be room for negotiations, if she is interested.

    me 2 pence.....
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  8. Markham
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    Markham Guest

    The lawyer I would recommend is more of a barrister than solicitor and one that recognises his own limitations. But he has the great gift of putting together a team of very experienced litigators who are hard to beat in the courtroom. He led the defence team in the Ella Joy Pique case where a Briton and his Philippine fiancée were framed for the abduction and murder of a young girl.

    That's certainly true for criminal cases but the playing field is a touch more level for civil cases.
    I get the impression that the lady in question is rather disreputable and is probably not above scamming our friend - promising access upon receipt of money and then disappearing with child just before he turns up at the mutually agreed place and time, for example.

    A surer way would be to offer a "contract" on her new love interest, if you get my drift ;), but that should very much be a last resort when all else fails. And no, I don't condone such a course of action!
  9. Anon04576
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    Anon04576 Well-Known Member

    Mark is of course jesting on this particular point. No one here on this forum would really suggest such a literal action.
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  10. Markham
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    Markham Guest

    Of course I am, Paul! I mentioned it because that is a course of action that the OP might be tempted to contemplate in sheer desperation when he continuously hits his head against the brick wall of Philippine bureaucracy and the legal system.
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  11. Mystica
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    Mystica Active Member

    There is no way he can ever get to see his child again to be honest if he insist on trying! Once women have decided not to give you an access, it will never happen. Philippines jurisdictions will always be in favour to Filipino. Let the sleeping dog lie for now and wait until she is in need of your help for financial support for bringing up your child. And when your child started to ask for her real father maybe she will let her know who her real father is.
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  12. Oldhusband
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    Oldhusband New Member

    Just an update on what has been happening.

    My ex has gone straight on ahead and is now planning on taking my (biological) daughter to Australia in the future,to live with her new partner.I have sent her countless emails requesting that i want to see my daughter on cam and also want to know how she is.I am getting no feedback from her.

    I have told her that i want to be a father to my daughter and that it is wrong for her to make somebody else the legal father to my child while i am in the background trying to get access (surely i am right about this?)...As i mentioned earlier,my name is not on the birth certificate(as i was not present in the country at the time of birth) but i am down on the christening document as the father,as i was in attendance for the Christening.

    In short this is what has happened...for well over a year now i have been sending emails to my ex asking for news about my daughter and wanting to see her on cam.I have also told my ex that i want to be in my daughter's life forever.I have been totally ignored.

    This is what my ex is going to do...she is going to move to another country with my daughter,marry her current partner and make him my daughter's father.Basically she is acting as though i do not exist!!.

    Now correct me if i am wrong,but surely she is not allowed to do this by law?.....but if she has found a way to get round this problem,then also,somewhere down the line,can i take her to court and have her prosecuted.I have,after all,have a paper trail of emailed messages telling her that i am my daughter's father and do want to be in her life.

    Please help.Advice is needed.
  13. Mattecube
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    Mattecube face the sunshine so shadows fall behind you Trusted Member

    I would consider trying to block her travel movements so at least you have an idea where she is ie in the Philippines. As you point out you dont have that many rights under Filipino law as the mother is always (unless unfit) seen as the biological parent the illegitimate child should remain with.
    Long shot to prevent travel and if you know she is considering a move to Australia is raise the issue with the Australian Embassy to block any potential visa (as I say its a long shot)
    Good Luck
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  14. KeithAngel
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    KeithAngel 2063 Lifetime Member

    I dont know but if she moves to Australia you MAY find you have some recourse under Australian law since your child would be living under that jurisdiction
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  15. Oldhusband
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    Oldhusband New Member

    I could really do with some legal advice right now as the situation has escalated....are there any legal eagles on here,or can any of you out there please recommend an attorney who may be able to help with matters of this nature ?

    Thanks.
  16. Markham
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    Markham Guest

    I can highly recommend Attorney Ram Villagonzalo and although he is based in Cebu City, he does undertake work elsewhere in the Philippines. He is not particularly cheap but he is honest, reliable, hard-working and a winner. If you wish to instruct him, let me know and I will let you have his email address privately.
  17. Oldhusband
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    Oldhusband New Member

    Yes please...i await your private message,Markham.

    Thanks again.
  18. Markham
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    Markham Guest

    Check your PMs.

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