After months of torment and unimaginable stress, Miss R picked up her passport from VFS Manila which was now adorned with a shiny new visa. All that remained now was to pack up her belongings and come to Merry Olde England. I flew over to assist in her goodbyes and, thankfully, Malaysia Airlines deposited me in Manila rather than some unknown location in the Indian Ocean. First day was spent in a spiffing hotel in Bonifacio before I headed to the British Embassy the next morning to sort out some annoying paperwork. The journey from the airport was not entirely without drama. I saw it coming a mile off. I don't totally know the laws of the jungle on Manila's roads. Perhaps the other car had left the junction too early, but our driver (unless he had the reflexes of Loris Karius) should have been able to stop in time. Unfortunately, there was a nasty collision. Our driver's right wing was, frankly, buggered. Other than when I accidentally dumped my Yamaha FS1E on the side of the road, this was the first semi-serious RTA I've been involved in. No airbags deployed, but Miss R was jolted forwards quite violently. Buckle up, fellas. This is one of the many reasons why life expectancy in the Philippines is lower than the UK. With the traffic backing up behind us, our driver got out and surveyed the damage. "Grab...." he muttered when he got inside. Evidently, a rivalry between Grab and the Old Guard. Myself and Miss R just sat tight, and a "rescue car" arrived to complete the journey. You hear internet rumours were foreign passengers are ludicrously made liable for accidents such as this. Our driver didn't make any pleas for money (even though his day was totally ruined). The new car just picked us up and we paid the agreed fare. The only British Embassy I've attended before was in Sarajevo. Manila was a much grander building. Of all the places to be posted, Manila can't be a bad option for FCO staff. After my business was complete, it was off to Victory Liner for the bus to Tarlac. Being election day, the schedule was all over the place. 5 Star, Dagupan Bus and Philtranco all non committal about their next departures. Buses aplenty to Baguio and Olongapo. After 2 hours waiting, the bus to Tarlac appeared and my sweaty balls could finally relax in this luxurious air conditioned carriage. Upon arrival at Miss R's home, the leaving party was getting into full swing. A delightful bakla delivered the videoke machine which was the cue for the Red Horse and Emperador to make an appearance. I'm not totally sure why, but Miss R's leaving party was attracting the high rollers of her barangay to make an appearance. First to appear was Pastor Mike from the Iglesia ni Cristo. Mike was a young man of just 22. Despite his young age, he was shown enormous respect by everyone. I got the feeling that his posting to this barangay was akin to Father Ted's exile to Craggy Island. The sound of his approaching Toyota was enough to get the Red Horse and Emperador hidden out of sight. A table was prepared especially for him....and myself. I played along and had a rather stunted conversation with this young man. He would be coming again tomorrow, I learned. Later that evening, the barangay captain made an appearance. The table was cleaned up and a new meal laid out for him, his entourage of 2.....and myself. I congratulated him on his recent election success. Maybe next time it would be vice mayor? No. This was to be his final term and he pointed and the lady beside him as the next and first female barangay captain. The next day was an ill-fated trip to the CFO in Clark (it was shut!), but on the way home we picked up a few of Mrs R's friends. Although it was agreed that we would be getting married, I hadn't officially popped the question. Our pitstop in Jollibee before the final trike back to her house seemed the ideal moment. I'm not sure whether Miss R appreciated my timing. I thought it was awesome. The only thing it lacked was getting down on one knee. I didn't want the whole of Jollibee to be gawking over me. As the party went on, people seemed in pretty good spirits. Pastor Mike then re-appeared. The dinner table came back out and us chosen ones were ushered in for another intimate meal. After eating, Mike announced they would be praying together. I nodded and politely excused myself. But no. No. I had to join in the whole charade. In normal circumstances, I would have no problem politely telling a British priest that I have no interest. However, I did not want to be that embarrassing foreigner bringing shame on the family, so I joined them in the prayer circle. Mike shouted away in Tagalog. This was the first time I saw emotion from the family. They were all blubbering away. Really bizarre. The prayer was finished and Miss R's friend, Shalyn, gave me a knowing wink that she thought this was a load of baloney as well. Early the next morning, we left for Manila via a quick pitstop at the Clark CFO. Manila passport control was a bit manic, but the long queues cleared surprisingly quickly. In a further 18 hours or so, we were in Heathrow. The young lady at immigration was actually quite cheerful and passport was stamped after a few simple questions. This was it. Miss R was officially in the UK. She has wasted little time in putting her stamp on my (or our) house. I've deliberately done minimal decorating so that she can make the place feel like her home as much as mine. I was quite happy when she started doing her own thing. My spare room was a bomb site before. It's now been transformed into a passable guest's bedroom. The only downside was that she managed to break one of the drawers in the wardrobe dresser within a couple of hours. Perhaps it was my shoddy DIY on Ikea tat, though I had managed not to destroy it during the previous 4-5 months. We have been on several local day trips. I took her to Ramsbottom and a pleasant (and steep) walk up to the Peel Monument. A group of 6 or 7 people trekked up soon after we arrived. Quite randomly, there were 2 Filipino women in the group. Not a word was exchanged between these women and Miss R. Is there some sort of etiquette when Filipinos meet each other in random locations? If I met another British guy on some non-touristy hill in the Philippines, I would at least exchange basic pleasantries. With my increasingly frail grandmother and uncle with learning difficulties, we went on a 3 day trip to York. My grandmother made it a comedy of errors and referred to Miss R as "your little girl" which made me sound like somewhat of a predator. Grandmother simply cannot remember her name. Getting old sucks. So far, I give her full marks for the transition. I will support her with whatever she wants to do with regards to work or education. She seems very content to become a fulltime housewife which seems an alien concept to so many of my female friends and companions. They seem concerned that I have brought her over to be my slave! We are still early days. If things do go pear shaped, I am fairly certain it will be my fault rather then her own.
A good read. Reminds me of my wife’s first days arriving in the U.K. Incidentally my wife usually smiles when encountering Filipino strangers in the U.K. and they normally return the smile.
Good to hear you are back and your girl is settling in well . It looks like you have taught her the joys of a Greggs apple Danish already haha . Good luck with the new chapter in your life .
You must live in the same area as@Timmers a long established member here, although we havent seen him on here for a long time(too long)
So far, so good. During Summer, I don't think she believed me that things can get a bit chilly. When I made some off the cuff comment that she won't be needing all those shorts in the UK, she took that to mean that she won't be needing any shorts at all! I got the blame when we needed to stock up in the kids section of Primarni. I don't think she is enjoying the cold, wet days but she can't wait to see the snow. I think that attraction will last as long as it takes up upload pictures to Facebook. Once the reality of slipping on the pavement and an icy snow ball in the face set in, I daresay she'll be counting down the days to Summer again. Her family is Iglesia ni Cristo, and Christmas is not really celebrated. Miss R is not a hardcore religious fanatic, so was thrilled to finally be able to do her own Christmas tree on 1st November without tut-tuts from the family. Filipinos are a very adaptable people. Miss R, like so many, was farmed off to an aunt as a youngster and had a pretty unhappy childhood (cigarette scars on her arm to prove it!). She had tough choices in adulthood thrust upon her. So living in the grim north west of England is a piece of piss in comparison! I do worry about loneliness. My social life is virtually non existent so I struggle to introduce her to a wider circle of friends. I've gone to several get togethers with local Filipino groups, but she has shown little interest in taking things further when the events have ended. I can't force her to add people on Facebook! I think nerves and shyness are still getting in the way. We have a new addition to the family. Little Tricia May. A Jack Russell/Shihtzu cross. This gives her reason to leave the house and explore on her own, though it leaves me with a dilemma as Tricia is prettier than Miss R (and equally daft) and desperate to lick me all over when I come home from work. Hope I never have to choose between the two.
Primarni hahaha. Sounds like we'll have quite a lot in common. My fiancée is also really shy, to the point she'd rather avoid even meeting my family! All being well, we're flying back together to the UK on Thursday night. One of the first things I'll be doing is seeing what Filipino events or groups there are within a reasonable distance. That and of course posting on the forum about advice for "phase 2"!
Exciting times for you both , I hope the weather isn’t too much of a shock for your lady. Maybe the first item on the agenda will be shopping for some thermals and warm winter clothing. ....... maybe a good idea , to buy her some as well haha . (Joke)
We have invested in a furry family also. Mica has made some local contacts but its not easy to integrate into the local communities. I don't think Mica expected the local Phil people to be so remote. If any Phil want to FB her then feel free, she would love to chat. I think she would appreciate some more subjective guidance about UK life than what I offer as well.
This was a big thing for Miss R as well. She is confident around me and not shy at all of any mistakes or silly questions she may have. Meeting my family is a different ball game and even now she is on her absolute best and most respectful behaviour. To their credit, my family have been really good to her. It is not exactly an everyday event that someone brings home a wife from another country. It's not easy for them to accept someone from a totally different culture into the family. They've all done their best to get to know her and be normal father in laws, sister in laws, nephews etc. I think you are at the posh end of the Metrolink in Altrincham with all the gentry of the Cheshire set? I'm pretty sure Miss R would be quite happy to escape the doldrums of Bury and chat with someone (face to face) in her own language. Like with you, there's only so much insight I can give the poor girl.
We are in Stockport now, the divorce killed anyhope of staying gentrified. Definitely a NW posse though
