1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

What does the future hold for my Filipina girlfriend and me...

Discussion in 'Relationship Advice' started by RLux, May 9, 2016.

  1. RLux
    Offline

    RLux New Member

    I was taken aback by how open everyone is talking about sex! Not used to that here in the U.K.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  2. RLux
    Offline

    RLux New Member

    Ah it's good to know that you're now together. It definitely seems that these girls are worth waiting for! I hope it works out between my girlfriend and I as she has really surprised me. I didn't think I'd fall this hard for someone. Especially someone on the other side of the world! She's definitely worth the wait though.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. graham59
    Offline

    graham59 Banned

    Good luck to you. :like:

    There are many (often subtle) differences between our two cultures, and you need to be aware of that, and would do well to read up on such things, but nothing that is insurmountable. :)
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Methersgate
    Offline

    Methersgate Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

  5. Methersgate
    Offline

    Methersgate Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

  6. aposhark
    Offline

    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    Not in the province where my wife came from :eek:
    Girls are almost chaperoned.
  7. aposhark
    Offline

    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    Something I found on the internet back in 2008:
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    A Man's Guide to the Perfect Filipina Bride - Tips on Marrying a Filipina.
    In order to find your perfect Filipina match you must first know what real Filipina women are (not the misperceptions of Filipinas you have grown up with) and make sure you can deal with certain issues once the marriage is official.
    Do Filipina Women Prefer Western Men To Filipino Men?
    All a Filipina wants when looking for a man is a stable lasting relationship. Considering the double standards in the Philippines and the fact that they don't have divorce, it is true that Filipina women have a lot to contemplate when considering marrying a Filipino man. Western men are perceived as being more modern and loving than Filipinos so it is no surprise when they are more desirable for a life companion.
    Do Filipina Women Prefer Men Who Are Many Years Their Senior?
    Statistically, Western men who are looking for a Filipina wife are above the age of 35. What makes them desirable is that they are perceived by Filipinas as more mature, less promiscuous, and financially stable. Such men have a better than average income, a college education and most have been divorced once and are seeking a stable lasting life-long relationship.
    Is It True That Filipinas Are Submissive Little Sex Kittens?
    Now here is the inconsistency. Many western men want their future Filipina wife to be a virgin, and yet they are unwilling to accept the limitations that such virtue implies. They wish for a wife with no sexual history, yet hope that she has nothing else on her mind other than to please their sexual desire.
    In reality many Filipinas have advanced degrees of education and professional lives. It could hardly be presumed that their only purpose in life is to fulfil some man's wildest dreams. What you do get when marrying a Filipina is a woman dedicated to her family and striving to keep her marriage successful.
    Do You Want A Big Family?
    Family will always remain a great priority for Filipino women; and not just any family, but a big extended family. Ask yourself if you want a big family and children (more children) because you can be sure that any Filipina does.
    Are You Religious?
    There are three primary religions in the Philippines: 83% Roman Catholic, 9% Protestant and 5% Muslim. It is common amongst Filipino society to raise the family in the church. So be prepared for some soul-searching on this matter since she is probably more devoted to her religion than you are to yours. Your perspective Filipina bride would most likely dream of a church wedding, and some families even forbid their daughters to get married without one.
    Are You Ready To Accept Your New Wife's Family As Your Own?
    You should be prepared to provide financial assistance to your new, extended family when they have a need of medical attention, or things like schooling or food. If you are capable and refuse to help them, your lack of generosity would be inexplicable for your Filipina wife and though she may not say anything, she will neither respect you nor understand.
    Are You Looking For A Filipina Wife Because You Hate The Women Of Your Own Country?
    You realize that it is not reasonable to hate an entire gender, right? Even within the confines of a single country. If you are marrying a Filipina, it should be because of who she is, not who she is not. Basically these are the main guides you should follow when deciding whether a Filipina wife is right for you. If you can handle these issues, I think you have made a great decision by choosing a Filipina for your life companion and I can only wish you luck in finding the perfect Filipina bride for you!
    Jonas Patterson is a retired American living in the Philippines. He and his Filipina wife Kristine have found their happiness the hard way and they have established http://www.filipino-dating.com where you can find free everything you need to know about Filipino women, their culture and the famous Filipina personality. If you are serious about dating a Filipina, go deeper by reading the article Filipino Wedding Customs http://www.filipino-dating.com/filipino-wedding.htm

    Also............

    Any downside marrying a Filipino?
    I'm sure they’re not all the stereotype but by and large women from the Philippines seem generally happy, friendly, easy going, low maintenance and marriage minded. What more could a guy want? I am level headed and rational but I have yet to see a potential (serious) downside ...

    Nobody is perfect and I doubt any woman is going to slave hand and foot to make you happy if you don't treat her right ... but on the U.S. front it seems like it will take nothing short of a miracle to find these qualities which seem so common in the Philippines? Sending back a few hundred $$ back home to support her family every month sounds like a real bargain (and that is about the worst I have heard so far).

    Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
    Watch the phone calls back to the Phillipines. The women are not golddiggers in the extreme sense but they do value security and a good life that they can get by marrying an American.
    Other Answers (12)
    Top of Form
    If you are sold on the Philippines and their women, go for it. There are other asain countries have have beautiful intelligent women too that speak english. cheers c
    • by Adam I have been with my Filipina for almost 3 years. There aren't any downsides at all. I love her and wouldn't want it any other way. Relationships are a challenge, no matter who you marry. Get to know the girl well and good luck. I guess, from personal experience, the only downside is US immigration. It is a pain in the rear. If you have all of your documention, then there shouldn't be any problems. You just have to be patient and pass the test of time.
    • by Ω allan y maybe being in love too much.
    • by Peter L The family comes w/the girl.....it's pretty much a package deal. But I guess that not exclusively a Filipino thing....
    • by Big P There will always be a down side. That is part of life. We all have flaws. I am very fortunate that I found a woman who loves me enough to put up with me.
    • by annabelle p The downside to a mail-order bride is when the girl changes her mind and not inform you, when you come over to marry her, the girl is nowhere to be found. This, after you have spent a lot of dollars for her and her family's upkeep and for the wedding preparations/costs.
      The advantage is, of course, marrying a Filipina who truly loves and cares for you will keep you warm and satisfied with married life. A Filipina looks after her man and her family very well. She is a born homemaker and a trusted partner. Not only can she take care of the home, she can also be a good business partner. The modern Filipinas are highly educated and some are blessed with good business acumen.
    • by oneiloil... I will be married to my Philippna 8 years in April. I could not ask for a better wife.
      Mail Order brides are a thing of the past. Believe me U.S. immigration will throughly look for evidence of a relationship before a visa is granted. I'm with Adam. Biggest downside is if you plan to live in the states U.S. Immigration is a royal pain in the ass.
      I have been living in the Philippines happliy since 2002 and don't plan on ever going back to the U.S.A.
    • by jef Filipinos and Filipinas are family oriented persons. So if you are married to one and you are a foreigner, specially from the US, having extended families might be an alien culture for you.
      Having a FILIPINA wife is your blessing, but you have to realize that you have to embrace her culture as well. You would have extended families who would rely from her, depending on her family's social background.
      If you are married to well off folks, then no worries there on the financial side, but you still have the emotional ties to contend with.

      If you are married to one who needs to help her brother and sisters finish school, then you have to talk with your wife on how to provide support.

      Like any relationship, you need to work this out and talk about it.
    • by Yak Rider
    I've been married to one going on 29 years. My marriage dates back well before the Internet and "mail order brides." We actually met at a friend's wedding. My wife was one of the bride's maids.

    When you get married to a Pinay you marry the family.

    There used to be an old joke where the punch line went..."...what do I look like, the bank?" Well, that's exactly what you look like. You have to set boundaries and stick to them. You have no idea of the financial pressures you'll be under. How you deal with it will determine whether the marriage will last or not.
    I would agree with Adam. The Filipino ladies are great. I have been married to one for four years. She is wonderful.

    You are right about the sending money, to her family. That is the one downside that I know. Note, that it will not just be her immediate family. You will be the rich relative, to go to in a financial emergency. You can give a lot of help for a small amount of money by American standards. They do have a lot of relatives, and many real emergencies. Forex is the cheapest way to send quick cash.
    Coming from a true blooded Filipina's point of view, you are right, to all... including the downside.

    We Filipino women were raised to value marriage and family so much that even if ever we would be married to a beater husband (God forbid!), we'd still work it out. We are taught to humble ourselves especially with men, to provide their needs, take care of them and cherish them. We hold true to our 'til death to us part' promise. We were also taught to take care of our own children, not to rely on somebody else because around here, mothers are regarded as 'ilaw ng tahanan' (light of the home).

    Now, about that downside, you are very right. The Philippines is a poor country and sad to say, many Filipinas marry foreigners not because of love but because of the dollars although there are those who do to. Once you are married, being the man, you are being expected to provide for your wife, not just your wife but the entire family as well, all part of Filipino tradition: you do not marry a woman, you marry the family. But I guess, that's up to you, if you'd be willing or not. Also, being a foreigner, you'd be looked up to as the better member because of your... again, dollars! Sounds pathetic but true.

    Another downside is, you'd be expected to make friends with cousins and relative to the nth degree.... make 'pakikisama' (get-along) with them.... and sometimes that means, doing something you haven't done before... they can be cruel at times...

    Am I scaring you? lol...

    There, I've had my piece, hoped that helped!
    they pretty much said everything. i also would like to add that here in the Philippines we don't have divorce. we have annulment but it could take you forever to get one.. now im not saying this to scare you but many foreigners don't know this. so before you dive into marriage, you must be 150% certain that she's the one for you.

    i personally think that divorce is not actually a downside of being a Filipino. i think this law helps the people to think harder before getting married which is the way it's supposed to be. it also helps the people to work harder in keeping their relationship. =)

    another thing, many Filipinos are very religious. (mostly catholics) again, this is not a negative trait but some foreigners might find this shocking or might find this as a conflict with their own beliefs . if your soon to be bride is religious, respect her and try to go to church with her. most conservative families would really encourage you to go to church. =)
    • Like Like x 1
  8. aposhark
    Offline

    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    Also.............

    Love and Romance Filipino Style
    Introduction

    Not only are the Filipino men very handsome and romantic but the Filipina girls or Filipina women are world known for their stunning beauty. And some foreign women have finally figured that out the Filipino men can be quite a catch. Filipinas girls, are not only beautiful women but a delight to be around because of the famous Filipina disposition and personality. Some, actually many who marry these Filipina beauties, swear they make the best wives in the world, not only beautiful, but loyal, loving and faithful past death. From living here so long that has been my experience too.
    And, don’t worry if you are older or overweight, like half the population of the western world. Both women and men here have the highest respect for age and weight is a plus to some here. It is a status symbol. If you are overweight, you virtually lose twenty percent of your weight when you step on Philippine soil. Age is respected. Consider yourself lucky to not be a kid anymore. The Filipinas will, hard to believe, but true. Young guys are welcome too.
    May/September Romance
    Most Filipinas like a man with a little, or even a lot of, meat on his bones. And the men here are attracted to "heavy" women, a sign of health to them, especially in provincial areas. In Asian cultures generally, being overweight is a sign of substance and wealth. When I told my Filipina wife, Ani, I was going to lose a little around the middle, she said, What for?"
    Love and romance is serious business with these conservative Filipino women, whether they are from a city like Manila or the countryside, the province. Romance and eventual marriage is a preoccupation, especially for young Filipina girls in the province. But your average Filipina is cautious about how she conducts herself, especially in the provinces, where every one knows everything about everyone.
    The Filipina, How She Behaves in Her Culture, a "True Filipina." In the Philippines, if a man wants to be taken seriously by a woman, he has to visit the latter's family and introduce himself formally to the parents of the girl. It is rather inappropriate to court a woman and formalize the relationship without informing the parents of the girl. It is always expected that the guy must show his face to the girl's family.
    Filipino women, Filipinas, are expected to be pakipot (playing hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behaviour in a courtship dance. It is also one way by which the Filipina will be able to measure the sincerity of her admirer.
    Love, Romance, Marriage and Virginity
    Virginity is sacred in this Catholic country. Women are taught there virginity is a jewel. Filipino men are not interested in marrying a non virgin. I, thought I am not sure I ever dated a virgin until I came here, understand why. I am sorry if that sounds strange or unforgiving. But in this culture the woman is responsible to not only herself but her family for protecting that virginity. She may not even be forgiven if she is raped. I know this is not fair. But that is the way it is and the Filipina girls know it. Many are badly hurt by men who lie and promise marriage, with no intention of ever marrying them. But they are forewarned in no uncertain terms most often. They know the risk they are taking by trusting a man who want to have sex before marriage. Much of my research on this subject comes from a book written by Dra. Lordes Lopez, the psychopathology of the Filipino. My experience bears out everything she says in her landmark book. The Philippines seem like a neighborhood rather than a country. Of a married or single woman strays, everyone knows it. Filipino men are reluctant to marry a non-virgin even if they are the one who took the virginity! If they could get them to break the rules maybe someone else can too. These young Filipina girls who stray, are called "soft noses," in some areas.
    The culture and the family lets the girl know it is her responsibility to keep her virginity as soon as they are old enough to understand what virginity is, not only in words by example. They understand is is not the man's responsibility. They are well aware that most men are animals, sexually. As a man, I must agree with that. To steal one of Jay Leno's jokes, "Research doctors at Johns Hopkins University just this week, took out a man's heart and replaced it with heart of a pig." Then Jay asks, "Know what happened?" He punches with, "Nothing." "Everything was just the same."
    So Filipina women know it is their responsibility to guard their virginity. If they don't, they often pay a serious emotional and social price. If you are involved with a girl who is not a virgin in this culture, you are running the risk of getting involved with an emotionally unstable woman. She has broken the cultural mores, disobeyed her parents others. She may have other problems too, but maybe not. I feel, why take the risk? You may feel differently with good cause.
    Meeting a Filipina
    Meeting a woman through someone else is a good idea. If you meet an older man or woman who has some status, be direct and say, "I am looking for a wife.’’ They will not be shocked, I assure you, but delighted, if you are truly a gentleman. Filipino men often wanted to take me home to meet their sisters and cousins. A couple of time I went. I was not allowed to be with the Filipina unsupervised and understood that from the beginning. And if you don't like the sister or cousin, he will find another relative to introduce you to around the corner.
    He will want to keep you in the family, but only if you can understand and relate to the culture. If not, problems may arise. The Filipinos and Filipinas are communal, interdependent not independent. When you marry one you marry the family at least the mother and the father, the siblings too usually. That is trite, indeed, but true. Be sure and read the Family section of the culture page and see if you can deal with what is expected, almost required, a right of the Filipino family whose child is married to a man, foreign or local. If you can't let it be know from the start of your relationship with your Filipina. If she is a "true Filipina," the relationship may not develop. If it does she may not be happy in it, but you will never know.
    "Pen pal" listings, E-mail pals, Introduction services are other ways to meet Filipinas and Filipinos. I did not meet my wife through one of these services. I took the time to come here and find one who was not interested in marrying a foreigner. I am glad I did. But I do know many who have great success and many who had serious failures who used these services. These services are illegal to own and operate in the Philippines, though not in any other countries I know about. With e-mail, text pals and the Internet it is easy to meet girls here and establish relationships without an illegal broker. If you join one of these services, though you may feel it is the only way for you to go, do consider another avenue. A trip here does not cost much. And marriage can be for a life time, or should be. There is no divorce her
    The girls get into these services free. The men must pay. You may be writing to several women. They may be writing to dozens of men. Getting involved in any romantic relationship is always fraught with pitfalls. But for some, it is worth the risk, they feel. In a relationship built in a text-based environment, without visual clues, the people involved tend to fill in the blanks with desired attributes of the other person that often turn out to be inaccurate. The person you are writing to may only have the qualities you see in here because you bestowed them on her in your mind. If you are reading this after having already established a romantic relationship with a Filipina, I am sure you are saying, "My Filipina is different."
    A romantic relationship with a Filipino or Filipina has a better chance of success if you come over and immerse yourself in the culture. And it is important to meet a woman’s or man's family because the family is so important to him or her. And maybe the family will always will be more important than you. There is an Asia saying, that is accepted in the Philippines, "You can get another wife or husband but not another mother or father." Filipino children are committed to their parents who usually went through a lot to raise them. There desire is to make their parents life easier. If you are capable and refuse to help support her family who may need it because of the very hard economic situation here, she may not say anything, but she will neither respect you nor understand. As said, but it can't be said enough, Filipinos and Filipinas are interdependent people, not dependent, like in western cultures. They are so by choice and because their cultural needs.
    Cultural Difference / Net Relationships
    Crossing cultures is hazardous, and using a text-based environment to become emotionally attached to someone increases the chances of a failed relationship. But there is no guarantee any way you do it. Common sense is your best guide to finding a Filipina bride, a Filipina wife for life who is happy and you can make happier.
    A wise man said:"It's best to limit your internet relationships with those whom you have already met personally. Selecting your partner in life is one of the most serious decisions you will ever make. So if you have that in mind, consider a trip here before getting too involved. You may think it expensive. But it could be the best expenditure of your time and money you ever make. And there is no better place for a vacation that this beautiful tropical country. These services that bring together Filipinas and foreigners for the purpose of marriage are just not the ideal way. My advice is do not get involved with them at all.
    Letter from DR, slightly edited, to a LinP3 guest who just has a "Filipina problem."
    I sympathize with those who have had relationship problems. I have recently gone through the move others are about to make. I have learn so much and continue to earn more everyday. First, let me say that without a doubt, you can find the kind of girl you are looking for. There is an essentially unlimited pool of women who would love to date you here. And many, many are what you're looking for, but they are the ones you will have to put the effort into get them. They will NOT approach you and they usually are not on the internet. (But a few are.) Those on the internet are the ones who are MOST likely to be what you don't want...the MTV/Cosmo influenced girls. But, since I have recently moved here and learned A LOT fast. I have a few suggestions:
    First, avoid Manila. The girls there are far less likely to have the values you seek. Or they will be province girls who have come to "the big city" in the belief that the streets are paved with gold and quickly become desperate and, as such, do desperate things. I have travelled much of the country and find Cebu city to be the best for a new-comer (at least until you become grounded) especially if you are an American. Cebu is probably the most American friendly place in the country. (Not to mention the most progressive.)
    Second, BEWARE. Be wary of the girls, be aware of anyone who offers to help you (foreigners included). There are MANY, MANY scams and scam artists. I moved here after dating a girl for 8 months over the internet and phone, visited for 6 weeks, then moved here. A week after moving here (after selling my house in the US, etc.) she confesses to me that she got engaged to another American since my last visit... I NEVER would have thought her capable of such a thing, but I was wrong. I have always considered myself a good judge of character, but I have found that Filipinos are VERY good liars.
    Also, the culture here allows people to justify almost anything in the name of "survival". And many have a very broad definition of "survival". (Essentially anything that means they get money is helping them to "survive".) So, when it comes to getting married, take things slow. Many girls will try to rush you into marriage, but don't allow them to. If they are rushing, there is probably a reason. Also, don't forget the prenuptial agreement...and if she has a probably with signing one, I GUARANTEE you DO NOT want too marry her!
    Third, never forget that you are a "foreigner". Being a "foreigner" means that you are expected to pay a higher price than a Filipino and this is pretty much an accepted practice by all Filipinos...don't expect other Filipinos to sympathize with you just because you are the victim of a double standard). This double standard is an accepted practice. Be a foreigner also means that if the **** ever hits the fan, you are the "odd-man-out".
    And this includes your future in-laws. Blood runs thicker than water. If their is an issue with the family, don't be surprised when your wife sides with her family over you, her husband. Now, having written all of this, I don't want to be all negative. I was just surprised that no one else had given you this helpful advice. I think there are many great things about living here, the good women tops among them. But, I thought you could also benefit from some of my hard-learned lessons. DR
    Conservative Sexual Behaviour, Philippines

    Editor's Note: Published on page A23 of the Mar. 21, 2005 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer
    A THIRD of the students in the University of the Philippines in Diliman, (UP) Quezon City, have engaged in sexual activity on campus, according to a 2004 university study. (A more recent study that was just released, one that reflects the general population, not just the UP Diliman population says that one third of the men and only one sixth of the women, between 15yo and 37 yo have engaged in pre-marital sex. We hope to post that study soon. It was also doee by UP. Noted October 2007.) But before conservatives -- and perverts -- react, "sexual activity" refers not only to doing it all-the-way but also to French kissing, petting or necking, masturbation, oral, coital or anal sex. Thirty-three percent, or 126 of 359 respondents, admitted to having sexual activity on campus, according to a study by the Communication Research Department of the UP College of Mass Communication.
    The majority, or 65 percent of the respondents, said they had not engaged in any sexual activity on campus in the past three months prior to the survey conducted during the last week of January and the first week of February this year. Two percent of the respondents gave no answer. The on-campus sexual activities, the study noted, are usually done in "sex hotspots," particularly in areas hidden from sight by trees and bushes, and are free of use. The hotspots included the densely vegetated Lagoon, the wide-open Sunken Garden, the parking lots and comfort rooms. Even Palma Hall, more popularly known as A.S., and the Main Library are also considered sex hotspots, the study reported. Contrary to belief that UP Diliman students are sexually liberated, the study found out that only a fourth or 24 percent of the respondents have had sex in the three months before the survey. The students' favorite sexual activity was French kissing, with 55 percent of respondents. Petting or necking and self-masturbation were the second favourite with 48 percent, while 34 percent engaged in oral sex. Only 27 percent had coital sex, or "actual" sex involving the genitals, while 7 percent had anal sex. But taking both sexes into account, the top sexual activity among females was French kissing, with nearly half or 49 percent saying they had engaged in it, followed by self- and mutual- masturbation with 18 percent each. Among males, it was self-masturbation on top with 89 percent, followed by French kissing with 68 percent, and petting or necking with 62 percent. Of 126 respondents who have had sex, 40 percent "sometimes" used protection, 36 percent "always" used protection, while 24 percent "never" used protection. Of those who used protection, condoms were the preferred method, with 88 percent saying they had used one. Birth-control pills came in a far second with 10 percent, while rhythm method was done by 6 percent. Respondents to the study were UP Diliman undergraduate students with ages between 16 and 20. Sampling was multi-stage, with respondents picked from 20 colleges. Department chair Violeda Umali said the margin of error was a little below plus or minus 5 percent, because of "spoilage" in the original sample of 387 students. Intriguingly, the respondents also reported engaging in sex through technology: 15 percent have engaged in phone sex; 13 percent in cybersex or Internet sex; and 10 percent in text sex. On the respondents' sexual views, the study reported that more than a third or 34 percent found premarital sex "completely" acceptable, 39 percent consider it "sometimes" acceptable, while 27 percent did not find it acceptable at all. The students' outlook toward homosexuality, the study found, was generally positive, with more than half or 51 percent finding it "completely" acceptable, 26 percent seeing "sometimes" acceptable, and 22 percent saying it was not acceptable at all. The researchers said the study applies only to UP Diliman students. Umali said the study showed an aspect of UP students' sex life that she found "surprising." The wide range of sexual activity that the respondents engaged in, she said, was completely unheard of in her time.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. CampelloChris
    Offline

    CampelloChris Well-Known Member

    I got; "So, are you serious about our Melody?"

    I replied; "Well, I've just flown for 28 hours just to visit her for a week."

    To which I received the reply; "When you come back, we will know that you are really serious about her."

    I'd been in the Philippines around 19 hours by this time, and already had to commit to booking another ticket!
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. Methersgate
    Offline

    Methersgate Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    Just a little note on "sex" - Filipinos and Filipinas sometimes tend to lump all the forms of sexual activity listed above, from French kissing onwards, into the general heading of "having sex", so you need to be rather precise if you ask "How many people have you slept with" etc.

    On the other hand if you read the Two Pronged agony aunt and uncle column in Rappler you will be amazed at what the urban middle clasess get up to!
  11. KeithAngel
    Offline

    KeithAngel 2063 Lifetime Member

    I liked that bit in the middle:)
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Mikek1
    Offline

    Mikek1 New Member

    As others have commented I suggest you get over the 'honeymoon' period then think seriously about where you want this very brief relationship to go. If your earning 30K and have a place of residency of your own I see no problem in getting her a visitors visa.
    Unfortunately, I am not filled with confidence when you state how open your friend is about discussing sex. From my experience the majority of girls ,especially those in the provinces would never dream of talking about such matters. In actual fact any foreigner ,or for that matter local that tried to openly discuss 'sex' would be seriously at risk of being harmed. People of the provinces maybe poor, but they are religious and 'old fashioned' and would frown upon such behaviour. Most girls in the cities would also not be open about sex to a 'stranger' in such a brief encounter . What are your friends real intentions, are you being scammed or are you naïve ?

    Get yourself over to the Philippines for a longer period (holiday romances there are no different from anywhere in the Med, etc.) and really get to know your friend. If she is so much in love taking time from her studies should not be a problem. A degree in the Philippines is a stepping stone to a job as a checkout at SM. Better to find a rich 'kano' than work for PHP10-15K a month (if your lucky).
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
  13. RLux
    Offline

    RLux New Member

    Hi mikek

    I'm not referring to my girlfriend when saying they're open when talking about sex. I'm saying that her friends are very open and by that I mean they ask if we've had sex. I think this is probably more of a 'girls talk' thing rather than her trying to scam me. We've been talking every day and at no point have I ever sent money or anything so if I was being scammed then she wouldn't be doing a very good job lol. I also met her parents and probably 15+ of her friends so again I'm very confident about her intentions. I also think that I'm wise enough to understand if someone was taking me for a ride.

    Definitely agree with the honeymoon period advice but I'd say that this is universal, regardless of where the girl is from. I also wouldn't want her to stop her studies as she's completed 3 of the 4 years so it would be stupid to quit now. I'm only 25 and although I have a good job I'm by no means rich .
    • Like Like x 1
  14. graham59
    Offline

    graham59 Banned

    Bear in mind... you will encounter a fair amount of cynicism concerning such LDRs (Long Distance Relationships).

    The curse of increasing age. lol

    Go for it, and continue to enjoy the optimism of youth.... with a touch of common sense. :like:
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
  15. DavidAlma
    Offline

    DavidAlma Well-Known Member

    I'm new to the forum and reading through some older posts, I came across this old thread.
    Did anybody ever hear anything more from RLux?
  16. ChoiAndJohn
    Offline

    ChoiAndJohn Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    Last seen May 24th.

    So I think we can assume that either (in decreasing order of probability):

    a) The novelty wore off.

    b) He was so upset by Graham talking about great sex that he threw his computer out the window.

    c) His girlfriend sexed him to death.

    d) He went to Mindanao as a tourist and remained as an unwilling guest of Abu Sayyaf.
    .
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Winner Winner x 1
  17. florgeW
    Offline

    florgeW Lady Mod Senior Member

    Hello there and welcome!

    Well, my 2 cents.. you are both young so enjoy each others company.. get to know each other reaaallllyyyy well and make sure you know how to deal with Tampo ( not tampons - though sometimes they can be connected..lol).. things will change as you mature so best to establish a good foundation before jumping into something serious like marriage.. this long distance thing and going through visa etc can make or break a relationship... so... enjoy!
  18. DavidAlma
    Offline

    DavidAlma Well-Known Member

  19. ChoiAndJohn
    Offline

    ChoiAndJohn Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    On the final one, if duterte doesn't allow that to happen anymore, it's only because he is planning to arrest you himself! :)
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  20. john jones
    Offline

    john jones Active Member

    Welcome to the site and good luck with your quest.:welcome:
    • Like Like x 1

Share This Page