You know you have a filipina wife in the UK when:

This thread:

http://www.british-filipino.com/ind...eed-to-know-if-you-are-dating-a-filipina.375/

Isn't as relevant to me now that my wife and I are in the UK. So I thought I would post an alternative one based on my own experiences with our very own @BlueberryCheeseCake

You know you have a Filipina wife in the UK when:

1. Her Family think you own a printing press that makes money.

2. You need Skype Credit or an international calling plan.

3. She arrives with about one thousand light summer dresses but no coat and lots of open toe shoes and flip flops but no boots.

4. You can buy clothes in the petite and children's clothes section that fit her.

5. You have to buy an entire wardrobe of winter clothes, long sleeve tops, coats, warm socks, boots, scarves, hat, gloves.

6. In August when it's 26 degrees outside, she will think it's a cool day.

7. In October when it's 14 degrees, she will be shivering under several layers and stoutly maintain that it's incredibly cold outside.

8. She runs outside and is excited by 1mm of snow.

9. Your kitchen occasionally stinks of dried fish.

10. Your bathroom has some new plastic bowls added to it for washing.

11. You run out of bathroom tissue, and you're the only one that minds.

12. Your wife will happily meet you at the door when you come home from work.

13. You receive visits from distant relatives who your wife has never met before.

14. Every filipino you meet wants to boast about how much money they have now.

15. And then asks your wife how much money you have.

16. And then they tell her parents that you're rich.

17. See (1)

18. When she learns to drive, at first it's so dangerous that you feel like putting a flashing light on the roof of the car. You may, as we did, make an exciting and unscheduled visit up onto the pavement.

19. When she tries to move your prized sports car a few feet on the drive on her own, she misjudges it, pushes the accelerator too hard and rockets out of the drive and across the road and nearly causes an accident.

20. You discover a dishwashing tablet has been put in the dishwasher with the plastic wrapper still on.

21. She prefers to hand wash clothes because the washing machine doesn't get them clean enough.

22. She doesn't know how to use a vacuum cleaner at first.

23. She likes to brush the floor using a broom like a witch rides on.

24. She takes the christmas paper off presents and flattens it out to use it again.

25. You're happier than you have ever been in your life.

Ok, let's have a look at these shall we?

You know you have a Filipina wife in the UK when:

1. Her Family think you own a printing press that makes money.

They think she does. She works in a supermarket. They think I'm an architect. I'm not.

2. You need Skype Credit or an international calling plan.

Does an O2 International SIM count?

3. She arrives with about one thousand light summer dresses but no coat and lots of open toe shoes and flip flops but no boots.

She arrived with a coat belonging to my daughter that she borrowed. And a scarf. I bought her a coat in Millets as it was winter. She wore it for a while until she realised Millets weren't very fashionable. Never wore it again.

4. You can buy clothes in the petite and children's clothes section that fit her.

True. She bought her work trousers in the school uniform shop.

5. You have to buy an entire wardrobe of winter clothes, long sleeve tops, coats, warm socks, boots, scarves, hat, gloves.

Not really. She likes the cold.

6. In August when it's 26 degrees outside, she will think it's a cool day.

See 5. She complains it's too hot if it's over 25. Same as she did when she lived in Philippines.

7. In October when it's 14 degrees, she will be shivering under several layers and stoutly maintain that it's incredibly cold outside.

See 5. And 6.

8. She runs outside and is excited by 1mm of snow.

It snowed the day after our wedding. She leaned out of the window with her hand out feeling it coming down.

9. Your kitchen occasionally stinks of dried fish.

Kitchen? Whole bloody house.

10. Your bathroom has some new plastic bowls added to it for washing.

No plastic bowls. But then, I do most of the washing so maybe that's why.

11. You run out of bathroom tissue, and you're the only one that minds.

I can't get my head round how much bog roll she used. I think she takes a whole load off each time and wraps it round her hand.

12. Your wife will happily meet you at the door when you come home from work.

She's normally fast asleep in bed when I get home. She finished mid afternoon and goes back to bed.

13. You receive visits from distant relatives who your wife has never met before.

The only relative we've had a visit from is her sister who lives in Germany. We did, however, visit an "aunt" who lives in London.

14. Every filipino you meet wants to boast about how much money they have now.

And Vietnamese too. She hates it and sort of gave up on meeting Filipinos in England because of it.

15. And then asks your wife how much money you have.

Yup. See 14.

16. And then they tell her parents that you're rich.

They don't know her parents.

17. See (1)

See (1)

18. When she learns to drive, at first it's so dangerous that you feel like putting a flashing light on the roof of the car. You may, as we did, make an exciting and unscheduled visit up onto the pavement.

First lesson, she took the handbrake off and started rolling down the hill towards a lamp post. I put it back on. She's a good driver now, but she's been driving 2 years and still not taken a test.

19. When she tries to move your prized sports car a few feet on the drive on her own, she misjudges it, pushes the accelerator too hard and rockets out of the drive and across the road and nearly causes an accident.

We got her a car of her own to protect mine!

20. You discover a dishwashing tablet has been put in the dishwasher with the plastic wrapper still on.

See (10)

21. She prefers to hand wash clothes because the washing machine doesn't get them clean enough.

Her way is to bump the temperature up to 90 degrees and increase the advent of global warming.

22. She doesn't know how to use a vacuum cleaner at first.

She's a wizz at cleaning, although she doesn't do it so often. But when she does.... I don't get it. How can someone get somewhere so clean. THe place stinks like a domestos factory though afterwards. Maaybe that's a clue.

23. She likes to brush the floor using a broom like a witch rides on.

Ha ha. We went all over the place looking for one of those!

24. She takes the christmas paper off presents and flattens it out to use it again.

Not one of her habits. My great aunt used to cut christmas cards in half and re-use them. Not relevant but true.

25. You're happier than you have ever been in your life.

Ain't that the truth.

I cannot relate to a single thing on the list, I feel left out

not even the last item? That's a shame. Are you sure you didn't marry a British woman by mistake?

The happiest Timmers was in his life was when we voted to leave the EU

Not a one, I just married a bird that talks a bit funny

I laughed out loud when I read that.

I'm not happy with that yet , I will not be happy until its done and dusted.

I am probably happier now then I have been for a long time because of the missus, health and finances are good too but that could all change pretty quickly

You're not the only person who had relatives that would cut Christmas cards in half and re-use the front portion. Remember it well.

The remark about 'bowls in the bathroom' relates to bowls used for washing in lieu of a bidet since cheesecake isn't satisfied with the performance of toilet tissue as regards general hygiene.

We are also on the cusp of giving up meeting other Filipino here. My wife complains that they put up some sort of barrier, don't seem very friendly, and talk too much about money. It's a problem.

You sound like unlucky Alf from the fast show. Awwww bugger.

I think it will make us all better people for having a Filipina around, I find the experience almost soothing not to mention having ironed vests and underwear

They're not all like that. Asawa is friends with other Pinays that she met when she first arrived here in 2012.

11. Made me chuckle

Ironed undies

And hankies, its refreshing, when I was on my jack jones the only thing that got ironed was my shirts, its good to be domesticated, good to have a woman about really.

I will be meeting her off the bus soon, I always meet her off the bus, it goes back to Dubai when I used to wait outside the apartment block for her taxi to pull up, shows I care

Then I can ask her what she is making me for tea.

You know you have a Filipina wife in the UK when:

1. Her Family think you own a printing press that makes money.
It's My Fault

2. You need Skype Credit or an international calling plan.
It's My Fault

3. She arrives with about one thousand light summer dresses but no coat and lots of open toe shoes and flip flops but no boots.
She arrived in a down jacket, jumper, scarf and boots, acquired with great difficult in the further recesses of SM North Fairview

4. You can buy clothes in the petite and children's clothes section that fit her.
Useful tip - in a boutique or department store, the Size 6 is indeed in stock, but not on the racks; its on the mannequin. These days we just start by undressing the mannequin...

5. You have to buy an entire wardrobe of winter clothes, long sleeve tops, coats, warm socks, boots, scarves, hat, gloves.
And they all have to look good.

6. In August when it's 26 degrees outside, she will think it's a cool day.
Yes

7. In October when it's 14 degrees, she will be shivering under several layers and stoutly maintain that it's incredibly cold outside.
It's My Fault

8. She runs outside and is excited by 1mm of snow.
It's My Fault that it hasnt snowed in Suffolk

9. Your kitchen occasionally stinks of dried fish.
Whole House

10. Your bathroom has some new plastic bowls added to it for washing.
Pail and dipper?

11. You run out of bathroom tissue, and you're the only one that minds.
We could stand a siege

12. Your wife will happily meet you at the door when you come home from work.
In my dreams!

13. You receive visits from distant relatives who your wife has never met before.
None nearer than Dubai, happily

14. Every filipino you meet wants to boast about how much money they have now.
It's My Fault

15. And then asks your wife how much money you have.
It's My Fault

16. And then they tell her parents that you're rich.
It's My Fault - see (1)

17. See (1)

18. When she learns to drive, at first it's so dangerous that you feel like putting a flashing light on the roof of the car. You may, as we did, make an exciting and unscheduled visit up onto the pavement.
Still in store

19. When she tries to move your prized sports car a few feet on the drive on her own, she misjudges it, pushes the accelerator too hard and rockets out of the drive and across the road and nearly causes an accident.
She's probably better than me on a motorbike

20. You discover a dishwashing tablet has been put in the dishwasher with the plastic wrapper still on.
see (21), but for dishes

21. She prefers to hand wash clothes because the washing machine doesn't get them clean enough.
Nope. Thank Heaven its a Miele...

22. She doesn't know how to use a vacuum cleaner at first.
But uses it on wood floors

23. She has got the enterprising young Gujerati owner of an Asian grocery to stock every known Filipino comestible

24. I am on first name terms with the staff of the best shoe shop in Ipswich

25. You're happier than you have ever been in your life.
yes.

Ahh great washing machines. I had a Miele W800 with a ten year warranty. Brilliantly engineered. Another thing that I lost to the ex-wife.

Still looking for Filipino supplies. We can get plenty of thai, Chinese and other. FIlipino is a bit thin on the ground..

Stock up when you come over!

11. You run out of bathroom tissue, and you're the only one that minds.


I already have 2 pair of boots but I would tell my fiancé I need 5 more pairs maybe. And I can't wait to shop for coat.


On the other side, you know you're dating a British when:

1. He wears clothes more than once before they get washed again.

2. He prefers fries/chips/potato gratin over rice.

3. He loves to drink beer.

4. He is kuripot.

5. Burping is a shame.

6. He doesn't live with his parents.

7. He doesn't hand wash clothes.

8. He doesn't wear above the knee shorts.

9. His skin is as white as your nails.

10. The color of his eyes look amazing.

11. His nose is pointy.

12. He wears trainers instead of rubber shoes.

13. He calls his mother mum instead of mom.

14. He says knackered instead of tired.

15. He will always be flabbergasted when he sees you.

16. He is Sarcastic but such a sweetie inside.

17. He speaks English.

Add:
18. He likes his steak rare.

19. He likes dried mangoes.

20. He isn't fond of sour dishes.

21. He likes Indian Curry.