Hello! I need your expertise in this. I have a friend who has been married for 22 years and now her husband's racist mother told him to divorce her. They are married in Hong Kong in 1995. She left her husband 3 months ago because of the emotional abuse she is experiencing with them. Her husband and their 18 years old daughter are abusing her emotionally telling her she is not really wanted in the family and she is better off dead as she is causing problem to them as her husband's mother is threatening to disinherit her husband. My friend is now living on her own. Her husband has been cold to her and already cancelled her insurance and told her not to use his surname anymore so she has ordered Deedpoll change of name although the divorce hasn't been processed yet. My friend also has tried to end her life because of their abusive attitude towards her. She want to know if it is possible for her to apply for the divorce instead as she has been totally devastated and pissed off with her husband. If she initiate the divorce, will she lose her rights to have half of her husband's future earnings? We tried to search answer to this off the net but no such luck so I am trying to find an answer for her here instead. She doesn't have access to internet so I am doing it for her. Thanks a lot in advance and any information would help. God bless!
I was informed this website is for British and Filipino. My friend is Filipina and her husband is British. So she wants to know what is the best thing to do. I have no idea what to advise her. They are married in Hong King under British law and not married in the Philippines so I believe this site is base here in the UK. Sorry if this is a wrong place to post it but someone might know the answer. Not expecting for any sarcasm that is not useful answer. Thanks!
Sounds like a divorce due to unreasonable behaviour. She has to get legal advice as soon as possible to secure her rights to the matrimonial assets. After 22 years she is due not only half of the assets but also some of his pension potentially. It sounds so hostile that the only way to do it is through solicitors. The one thing to beware of is not to give away her rights to escape an abusive situation. I know there are always two sides to a story but divorce in the UK does not apply decisions on assets based on blame anyway.
Thank you so much for that answer. She will be pleased to hear that! At the moment she is living in a Refuge for women as a shelter and there was a record that she was a victim of domestic violence in her NHS although she didn’t want to file charges at the time she was at the hospital. She was told that she has no rights to anything at all. And she has no relatives here to go to. So imagine how bad is her situation without knowing her rights. Thanks once again! God bless you!
Divorce in the UK is blameless. She could divorce him for unreasonable behavior, but it would have no outcome on the financial outcome. I'm not sure why she thinks she has a right to half her husbands future earnings - particularly if the child is 18. Just divorce him and get out of there if she's not happy.
It is likely if she has been a housewife and not working herself. Husbands often pay maintenance even when there are no dependants because the woman has given up the chance of a career to keep the home and raise the family. It will be linked to future earnings obviously. Divorce is sad, especially after along marriage and when your own kids take sides, and I speak from experience.
Yes! She is plain housewife as her husband never allow her to work, she mainly took care of their children until they grew up. So she has never had any work experience here in the UK. She was advised to go to Family justice but she is weak because she loves her family so much although they have been heartless and cold to her and always hopeful that her family will take her back. Many times we told her to seek advise and she fears that she might put her family in trouble. But when she found out her husband cancelled her insurance, she was worried what might happen to her if she die in this country she is not very well with all the depressions, recently she had an angina attack. She is an orphane back home. So she had an idea to divorce him instead to end the suffering but was told to be careful as she might not have any rights at all! She is kind of confused and don’t really know what to do. Thanks a lot for all the helpful replies! Cheers!
She is here in the UK and she is British passport holder already. They are just married in Hong Kong but lived in the UK since 2008.
She sounds like she not only needs legal advice but personal support. She needs to be strong in order to get what she is rightfully entitled. Good on you @AM2018, Im sure she appreciates your assistance
Just advise her to initiate the divorce. She has nothing to fear, and it may not even cost her anything (financially) Her local Citizens Advice Bureau will be able to give her lots of advice, including free legal advice. My brother works for them. It should be quite straightforward, and she will be entitled to state benefits and housing, so she will not be broke and living on the street.
I know! She needs good advise in this situation I did what I could and helped her to have a shelter to go to and guided to claim JSA etc. So it’s a good start to survive here.
if she divorces him..as is her right under british law...and she intends to return to the filis--her divorce will not be recognised there. only everywhere else on the planet. so--if she does want to live in the filis--and maybe re-marry--then she needs to get him to divorce her. its called a foreign divorce. but if she intends to stay in the uk--it wont be necessary.
That' s if she wishes to remarry in the Phils as a Filipino Citizen (after having initiated the divorce). If she is now a British Citizen, then she will be treated in the same way as you or I would. Philippines (no) divorce laws only apply to Filipino Citizens.
She doesn’t have dual Citizenship now. So I think she should be fine! Thanks all for the kind advised! God bless!
Hi AM2018, IMO, Graham59's comment about going to the citizen's advice bureau (CAB) is the most important thing. People go there every day with what seems like insurmountable problems and they are often in a state of distress too. The people they will talk to in the office are highly trained and they will ask the right questions to be able to point people in the right direction to sort their problem out. Your friend will have a much clearer picture of her situation after her visit to CAB.
I agree with aposhark. If the Citizens Advice people do not know they certainly can point you to the people that do. I have found them very helpful.
Sounds like an awful and unbearable situation , I think your friend is lucky to have someone like you to give her support at this time . She definitely needs some advice , to give her some clarity and peace of mind . As said the C A B is a good place to start . Regarding her entitlements after divorce , she will probably do better than she thinks at this time . It's a bad situation for everyone , divorce is rarely without a lot of trauma .
The clue may be in the opening post 1) Its not just the husband but the Daughter as well and 2) The Mother in law is threatening to disinherit the Husband so perhaps he doesnt have any assets just future earnings
