Thank you for having nothing against us. I'm honoured. I asked t'missus about "bugoy" and she seemed surprised and said everyone there knows it. And I've heard people there using it. Maybe it's more from "da street", as it were. Oh, and who gives a stuff what other people think anyway as you get into a relationship for yourself, not others - although my own experience and the experience of people I know there is that they don't have any hang-ups at all about age gap relationships. In fact they say it is not seen as unusual there so much as it is here in the UK. I guess I must have just moved in different circles to yours when I was there.
Yes, having sex is being naughty. Apparently. Some Filipinas even refer to those who want sex as being perverts which is somewhat perverse, given the number of single mothers.
"Advise" from a man to let you know when he wants to be quiet is opening a conversation, something the man doesn't want to do.
I agree with what Maharg (Graham) wrote in post #41, I too couldn't give two sh%&s what other people think. Too many people judge others, who gives them the right to do that?
Maybe it is, maybe we just are from different circles in Manila as I am technically Filipino but if you see me, you'd think I am not At least I learned a new word. I don't have any beef with large age gaps, I respect a person's decision and preferences but it doesn't mean that I will also have the same preference. We all have different likes and dislikes and learning to at least tolerate differences is the best way to live harmoniously with people. Well, Filipinos are big gossips. Chismoso or chismosa as they say in Tagalog and it's like a national pastime. I know you and the other won't give a sh*t as to what other people will think and hopefully, luckily your better halves have learned to ignore those type of people. But living in the Philippines, you have to deal with these things. People will look nastily, people will talk and if you are onion skinned (as most Filipinos are), you would be very concerned of what others think of you. Its really BS but that is how it is here.
As soon as I saw your picture Blue Acid I thought this young lady is not 100% Filipina, my loved one has a bit of tiddly wink in her although its virtually impossible to tell. Regarding the age thing, people in relationships with younger partners just have to get on with it and do their own thing as they are never going to change the perception of all around them. As for anyone being jealous of them, I could strike up a relationship with a Filipina half my age within a few keystrokes if I wanted, but that's not who I am. Good luck to all both young and old
My wife and I have a large age gap. And we dont have a lot in common. But it doesnt matter. We are completely opposite in many ways. But we still get on very well and love and respect each other very much. I havent been given a hard time by anyone over our age gap except from a couple of middle aged British women, but on the whole its been pretty good. I like to think its because of my slim and youthful looks My ex wife and I, on the other hand, had a lot more in common, but didnt get on so well.
Its funny that because I don't believe you need to have a lot in common for a relationship to succeed, I have often thought that, but until now no one has agreed with me.
Just wanted to thank everyone for their wonderful inputs. Oh, and also to update everyone as well with the wonderful things that have been happening lately. So I get a call from the boyfriend at 6:00am last Saturday and he was crying. My mind was still riddled with sleep but when I heard his sobs, I was jolted awake and asked what happened. I knew his father recently had an operation and crazy scenarios started to form in my head. So I kept asking what was wrong and he just kept on crying. Then, amidst the sobs and hiccups, I hear this: "You're the one, you're the one. I don't know what I did to deserve you but you're the one and I love you so much." For the first time in my life, I was at a loss for words. I tried to inject a little humor in the situation by asking him if it was only now that he had this epiphany and that made him cry harder. He said it's been coming on for a while now and he was just scared to tell me. Oh and the distant, warmth-less approach in the past? He thought that I didn't want to appear all lovey-dovey in public and was afraid that I may take offense if he did start to show little bits of PDA here and there. He met the parents and the brother yesterday, oh! Along with my dogs (I have a Great Dane, 2 Dachshunds, and a Mongrel/Askal). Tis funny, really. My dogs usually bark at strangers when they first see them but yesterday, they approached the boyfriend with curious faces then proceeded to lick the death out of him. Max, the Dane, was scared of him at first (as he is with practically everything and everyone) but by the end of the night, they were getting really chummy to the point that when the boyfriend took a selfie with Max, the Dane gave him a huge sloppy kiss afterwards haha. My parents and brother liked him very much and it was the perfect evening. All's well in my world. Happy.
Timmers, my only Filipino relation would be my maternal grandmother's mum who is half Filipino. Melissa, happy to hear that everything went well. You remind me of myself a few years back (I'm just a few years older than you) when I first started dating my ex-boyfriend now husband. The way he said I love you, the dogs, PDA.. except for the family thing as it was forbidden for us to get involve with someone who isn't the same race. We prevailed and is now happily married. My family adores my husband too and have come to terms that they will have cute grandchildren in the future.
Melissa, I am hearing wedding bells, I would check though and make sure he's British and not American, with all this crying and all. Just pulling your leg, good luck
Thank you, Markham! Whoa slow down the ringing of the wedding bells. Though I won't deny that the idea popped into my mind, I'm trying not to think about it and just enjoy what we have now. It's not that I don't believe in marriage, I do. It's just that when you've been let down by a person you thought you'd be spending the rest of your life with for a number of times, you sort of try to avoid thinking of baby names, wedding themes and motifs, how you would look in your wedding dress on the big day when you start a new relationship, even though he shows so much promise. It's a self-preservation instinct. ^_^ I'm not a cynic; just being careful. My mum got married when she was 24 and every year since I've passed that age, she would remind me about it so I sort of had this mindset that I must be married by this age etc so I threw everything I got into my past relationships, only to get screwed over. In my defense, I really thought that my ex was the one I'd go to the altar with. He f-ed up so that went down the drain, not without causing a lot of damage to my already-fragile heart. But if the boyfriend asked me the question now, damn. Yes, I'd say yes.
He's got a little French blood in him, maybe that's it? LOL. Fortunately, he's very clean when it comes to his hygiene, unlike *voice drops to a whisper* the French. Thank you, Timmers.
Well I am very pleased to hear that you resist parental (and peer) pressure even if it is subtly put. It's your life and you must lead it as you wish - and, most importantly, with whom you wish. There's only one person you need to please and that is yourself, others - as blue_acid relates - can be won-over if necessary. I do hear the bell-ringers practising, his "You're the one, you're the one" sounds awfully close to a proposition to me! He has met your parents, siblings and pets, when are you going to meet his? If you are absolutely certain that he is "Mr Right-for -you", be a "modern girl" and pop the question yourself! Seriously!!
Unfortunately there's not going to be any ringing wedding anytime soon, or ever. I just ended things with the bf. Now I have puffy eyes, a very red nose, and tears that won't seem to stop falling. But I'll get over this. I must. The hurt he caused will be enough for me to move on. Thank you everyone for all your kind words and wishes. It's just unfortunate that things had to go down this road.
