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A Tampo to far or How to torture the Wife

Discussion in 'Humour' started by KeithAngel, Feb 24, 2011.

  1. KeithAngel
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    KeithAngel 2063 Lifetime Member

    :) One evening last week, my Wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, ‘I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’

    I said, ‘WHAT??!! What was that?!’

    So she says the words that every Husband on the planet dreads to hear..

    ‘You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.’
    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, ‘Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?’

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, ‘Lets get a pair for each outfit.’

    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis

    I think I threw her ! for a loop when I said, ‘That’s fine, honey.’ She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, ‘I think this is all
    Dear, let’s go to the cashier.’

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, ‘No honey, I don’t feel like it.’

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, ‘WHAT?’

    I then said, ‘Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.’

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, ‘Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?’

    Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either…… .but at least my honey knows I’m smarter than her. :like:
  2. Micawber
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    Micawber Renowned Lifetime Member

    :lol::lol:
    Great read.
    I actually didn't catch on for ages. Just thought wah he must be really desperate.
    I need to add that to my collection and recall it to my asawa at the appropriate time
  3. florgeW
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    florgeW Lady Mod Senior Member

    hahahaha.. cheeky bugger
  4. adamchryss
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    adamchryss Member Lifetime Member

    nice one Keith! :like:
  5. Kuya
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    Kuya The Geeky One Staff Member

    Sounds like something one of my friends would do.....
  6. yuna
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    yuna Cat Lover Staff Member

    :lol::lol::lol: made me laugh! nice one keith :)
  7. Howerd
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    Howerd Well-Known Member Trusted Member Lifetime Member

    She has the TAMPO you have the CONDO. All that is missing is a couple of consonants!

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