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Childrearing Practices and Values of Filipino Parents in UK

Discussion in 'General Chit Chat' started by aposhark, Oct 16, 2020.

  1. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    https://ecommons.luc.edu/cgi/viewco...&httpsredir=1&article=4289&context=luc_theses

    This link will enable you to download a pdf file (110 pages) of a thesis.

    My own thoughts on this matter is that child rearing in the Philippines is very different from bringing up children in the UK, and indeed these differences have caused marital problems between my wife and I.

    I always believe that "when in Rome, do as the Romans do" and Filipina mothers should learn that the law is different in the UK.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  2. JohnAsh
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    JohnAsh Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    I think I know what you are saying here. And I tend to agree. Mrs Ash still doesn’t quite get the differences and it can cause friction.
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  3. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    My sister was a lead health visitor in the UK until she retired, John.
    She said her staff and the authorities had a lot of problems with Asian families, mostly Chinese, with their literally heavy-handed discipline to their children. It seems to me that this is a cultural difference and it it is a difference that I have always disliked.
    If I lived in the Philippines I would have to hold my tongue, and quite rightly so.

    However, many of the members here live in the UK, and for this reason I edited the thread title taking away the word "Chicago" where the link was indicating.

    For obvious reasons, some people here may not want to reply in an open forum.
    If this is the case, you can pm me if you want.
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2020
  4. Druk1
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    Druk1 Well-Known Member

    You don't have to travel to the PI to see kids abused in a family home, happens in the UK, I used to get punched, kicked, stamped on as a kid, probably explains why I left home and haven't seen my parents since. I know a guy in Davao who upon finding out his son was homosexual put him in a sack and lit a green leaf and wet wood fire to try and smoke the boy back to normalcy, the kid grew into an adult and still likes men, strange country the PI :confused:
  5. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member

    I must admit that I have been guilty of the odd slapped bum in a very distant past, but it was a matter, and still is, of give and take.
    "You give S""t and you take the punishment"... Short, sharp.. matter closed... Smiles all around again. As far as I gather, The culprits either did not do the deed again, or smartened up in not getting found out... Bonus.
    The biggest problem I had, was my welsh ex.......... She constantly demanded that I chastised the kids for things which I considered growing up stuff and a good dose of sperm competition between the boys to mark territory.. MY reluctance do do anything or very little in regard did cause some friction, from which we never recovered. The kids, now, do respect me for the freedom I gave them to grow up in and a fair treatment... Cannot say the same for the mother.
    • Informative Informative x 1
  6. Mattecube
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    Mattecube I have no need Trusted Member

    Pm sent
  7. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    You are right, Druk1.
    However, what was frequently done to us and to most children back in the day is against the law now.
    "Spare the rod and spoil the child" is now no longer the way to lawfully bring children up.
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  8. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    This is a minefield now Dom. Parents have to tread very carefully as they cannot chastise their children physically any more - it is classed as child abuse.
    Many mothers dished it out 40 to 50 years ago (mine included) but the rules have changed dramatically.
    Once I was hit over the head with a frying pan! The thought of me hitting my children with something like that fills me with sadness. I just ground my little ones from using their gadgets and that does the trick.
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2020
    • Informative Informative x 1
  9. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    I am mentioning this issue here in our forum because Filipinas who come to live in the UK will not be told of the major differences in how physical punishment is between their own country and here in the UK.
    Child abuse is a terrible dark secret in many homes and cultural differences can cause this happen.
  10. Druk1
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    Druk1 Well-Known Member

    I once saw a woman in a store in the PI punch her daughter in the arm, the poor girl was a little skinny kid maybe 10 years old, I gave the mother a nasty glance :mad:
  11. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    You were right to look at her in that way, Druk1.
    We should all show that these acts of abuse towards little ones are not to be condoned. Well done for your peaceful gesture. :like:
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. JohnAsh
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    JohnAsh Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    On the whole my wife is relaxed with our child. She is dead against physical punishment and struggles to apply other forms of punishment. She is quite soft unless angered. But to give an example, my daughter is very influenced by her mother when it comes to food. She struggles to use a knife and fork and might often use her hands as she has seen her Mum doing that. I try to encourage my daughter to use a knife and fork so that she fits in with standard British culture. It’s a bit of a battle. :D
    • Informative Informative x 2
  13. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    I think it is important that we all realise that there will be some difficulties when Filipinos (or any other nationalities for that matter) move to other lands. For some the difficulties will be minor, but for others the difficulties will be more problematic.

    The original link highlights cultural differences that we should all be aware of.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  14. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    i attended a "posh" all boy grammar school in Birmingham. One thing i learned was to duck the blows and run--from the teachers. Sadistic bastards. i got caned a few times by the headmaster--not my hand--my ass. It hurt. Didnt stop me truanting and smoking though.
    • Informative Informative x 1
  15. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    Those days are long gone also!
  16. Druk1
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    Druk1 Well-Known Member

    I attended a junior school where a teacher back-handed me across the face and burst my nose, could have been much worse, he was later convicted of sexually molesting 3 boys I know, one now has mental health issues, one has attempted to take his own life.
  17. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    There is insufficient deterrent for these monsters......and it goes on and on :mad:
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  18. Mattecube
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    Mattecube I have no need Trusted Member

    less time on here more time with her might help:D:frust:
  19. Mattecube
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    Mattecube I have no need Trusted Member

    more time with your daughter less time on here might help:troll:
  20. JohnAsh
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    JohnAsh Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    I think you will find your time on here can be typically more than mine. :p
    But what of it. Are you trying to be deliberately provacative because I pointed out you ate junk food?
    • Funny Funny x 2

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