and whats the story on leaving kids with the family for a while ? it dont seem to be frowned upon over there, but over here your be accused of being a bad mother ....
Right... First, I definitely would recommend getting the family over here if you can. I think it is always good for children to see another country, unless their education is at an exam-critical point, perhaps. Further, I agree with Aposhark - education here is much better and the NHS is rather important. My eldest boy, now 20 and in the merchant navy, was dumped on his grandmother in the Philippines for months at a time, when he was between two and four years old, and he has grown up none the worse for it, but my stepson is a different kettle of fish - he and his mother were once apart for a whole week ... indeed they were apart for two days just after this Chrismas as his mother and I did a little scramble up a volcano, but in their case they are very close indeed, and his mother strongly disapproves of the sort of Filipina who dumps her kids on their grandmother (this includes her eldest sister...)
I think you need a seperate visa for each dependant, so you may be looking at double the cost. I'm not totally sure on that, but when applying for FLR that is seemingly the case so I would imagine the same applies. For FLR from within the UK: https://www.gov.uk/remain-in-uk-family Who you’re applying for By post In person (premium service) You £601 £1,001 Dependants £601 per person £1,001 per person When children are involved, it also raises the threshold on required earnings. https://www.gov.uk/remain-in-uk-family/eligibility £18,600 per year if you’re applying only for yourself £22,400 per year for you and one child £2,400 per year for each additional child
Kaye and I are going through this very discussion at the moment. She has sent Krian to an English-language private school so he wont be "out of it" if they do come here. I don't put any weight on the theory that Filipinas become corrupted in the West (although, curiously Kaye did believe this to be the case, and maybe she still does - she evidently sees the UK as a Den of Iniquity in which people divorce each other every year or so - she expressed this humourously by saying that if she came here she intended to have ten husbands - but the thought was, and maybe is, there!) It is, I think, quite well known that Filipinos just don't like sleeping on their own. I sometimes express this as "there is no such thing as "a Filipino" - they only exist in groups!" On Christmas Eve Kaye was taken to hospital with what looked like acute appendicitis and turned out to be a UTI. I pointed out that legally as a foreigner I was not allowed to stay in the hotel room with my six year old stepson and Kaye's sister Christine collected him and - suggested that her teenage son should stay with me instead. I managed to persuade her that an Englishman actually can get to sleep on his own and the aswangs probably won't bother him, but she found the ideaa of sleeping on your own very strange.
Thanks Graham! (see, Jimmy - a visiting expert dropped in on cue!) I take it that the initial application will be the same. Ouch!
Ha ha. Hardly an expert! just someone who's been through it. Wait until we need to do our next application and I'm the one begging for help!
Now, because frankly, Filipinas dont like to sleep on their own, it does sometimes come to pass, particularly if the lady in the case is good looking, and is known to have a boyfriend overseas who supports her, that one of the large army of fit, good looking, muscular, unemployed and/or underemployed layabouts to be found in every single barangay may decide that he can assist her, by sleeping beside her in your place, and she is rather likely to find the notion of having a fit handsome young man, who pays her a great deal of attention, about the place, rather an attractive one. This is known in the Philippines as a "side line". It is extremely common. The boyfriend will be supported by your wife/girlfriend out of your money. He may well be younger than she is, so she can "mother" him (you will have noticed that Filipinas like to do this). She will enjoy buying him nice clothes (with your money) and going out to parties with his friends (and buying the beer and merienda with your money). He will enjoy screwing your wife/girlfriend, being bought nice things, and the considerable esteem of his barkadas, who will feel that he is doing no less than his patriotic duty as a Filipino by screwing a woman who sleeps with a foreigner. This may happen even if she is living with her parents, unless they happen to like you, and you will only know about it if a neighbour or mutual friend decides that she feels sorry for you and passes on the tsismis. So - do not assume that a Filipina wife or girlfriend left in the Philippines is going to be any more faithful to you than she would be, were she here. The reverse may well be the case. It is not only foreigners who find this happening to them - millions of Filipino OFWs have found that their wife has been unfaithful to them whilst they were slaving away in Saudi Arabia, and by the same token, very many amongst the army of Filipina OFWs who work as nurses, maids, factory workers and so on abroad have found that their hard earned wages, remitted to their husbands, have been spent on mistresses as well as beer and cockfights, and not applied to rebuilding the family home and educating the children. One of the most sickening sights I have seen was a man riding up to the Cebuana branch in Kaye's home town, to collect the 18,000 pesos that his wife had just sent him, on the motorbike that his wife had bought with her earnings as a domestic helper in Hong Kong , with his girlfriend riding pillion.
Wow a lot to digest Thank you all very much. I think I may have found myself a women Who is super devoted. Then again for how long ? Lol For me England ain't what it used to be and I for one prefer it there. That's the goal but that's just me.
Well, all I can say is that if there are any rules, I have not found them! However, I think that if your finances will permit it, you should look hard at bringing your family here, at least for the time being.
On the question of timing - who knows? But I think that there are some things that operate to reduce devotion, if I may so put it. Boredom and disappointment would be at the top of my list. Which is not as easy as it may seem... on the one hand, one has to be reliable - very reliable - and yet not be boring. One thing that Filipino friends have always cautioned me about is the danger of over-promising. Don't commit to something unless you can do it.
I can fully understand where you're coming from Timbo, depends on the girl, especially her family background and educational level, its like a young pretty English girl going to live in a foreign country, they have to learn to fend off advances from admirers who just want them as a notch on the bed post and they have to learn how to handle the money side of things. Bring a young pretty girl into the country and you better watch your friends, it really is as simple as that
The real problem is that they don't understand any conditional sentence, the concept of "if this happens then we can do that, if it does not happen then we cannot do that" without that concept anything you say becomes a PROMISE. Any kind of speculation about a possible future will also become promise which if it does not happen will be counted against you forever and ever, no exceptions! Interestingly while you will be accused of counting if you ever bring up any discussion of anything that happened in the past (a fatal offence), the counting of the broken promises, yes the same ones that were simple speculation about the future will be enforced with rigour! You might also find that while the basic process of running a business or a household requires accounting, for the above reasons any form of accounting will be held as counting which is intrinsically you reneging on all those promises that were nothing but speculation of what you might be able to do if things just happen to go well for all concerned. A raw nerve was touched!
I think there are certain traits that you could say are similar in Filipinas but my experiences with my wife show me that she is very different from the other Filipinas I have met in the UK. My wife doesn't want to mingle with other Filipinas as she finds the "chismis" (gossip) and the constant comparisons about who has the best husband far too much to take. My wife also has no interest in going to church which many Filipinas do. We talked at great length about what she wanted to do after getting married and she preferred to live in the UK rather than remaining in Phils. Our ideas were very similar - how can two people in love be apart for very long periods of time. After the kids entered into our lives, we also talked at great length about what would happen if we had marital problems. Once again we both were of the opinion that we would never split up as we were the people who brought them into the world so we have a moral responsibility to make sure they would be cared for. The love we both have for our children cannot be expressed in words and we will do everything to keep the family nucleus together. Being married to a Filipina is not all peaches and cream but there are many, many loving moments which I don't think I would ever enjoy with a Western woman. Filipinas are not the "doormats" that the popular press would have everyone believe. They are as fiery as you like, but only indoors were the husband is not ridiculed in front of other people. Everyone has rows but the passion and devotion makes up for any outburst. My wife reminds me may times of the "easy come, easy go" attitude towards divorce and how wrong that is. I have always struggled to get through the times that I am ignored (tampo) when she is hurt by something I have said or done, but I have learnt to keep busy doing other things until the dark clouds dissipate and there is sunshine again. I have even tried to ignore her in equal measure but it gets me nowhere. I have always had to be the one to put my arm around her and the smile and laughs I get at these times is life-affirming. There are millions of people in the Philippines as there are in the UK, the different ways to live are incalculable. In the meantime life carries on and I am always grateful that my beautiful wife came into my life, indeed with a mini beauty a little later too: and our little man
Ah, yes, the "doormat" theory... Contra indications include the Filipino expression "under the saya"... How does one get under the skirts of a doormat?
Check this website for the visa requirement: https://www.gov.uk/government/uploa...exFM_Section_FM_1_7_Financial_Requirement.pdf
