He's not kidding, it really does work like that, sadly. It honestly depends on your partners family, not all are like that, but the families are so big usually that it is almost impossible to avoid and Dom is dead right no matter how much she want's to shield you, she won't be able to and will end up justifying it as just being part of life. The culture is intimately family based people are not individuals in the sense that we perceive over here, you marry the girl you are marrying the family (and extended family sometimes) if you flinch at that then you should do some deep soul searching, I'm not even married yet due to complexities that have only just been solved after a very long time, but I had to adjust (willingly) to huge changes in my life. It's one of the reasons I love the place because the Scotland I grew up in felt a lot like my time in Manila and it was something I missed from my childhood, the whole family thing, it great when it's good and awful when any problems arise. One of the happiest things I have heard in years was my partners New Year resolution, she was going to look out for herself instead of trying to bend over backwards for everyone else, only took her 38 years (sorry mahal ko, I love you). The sad thing is I think I might miss her innocence as this like a transition to the modern world for her
You mentioned Kalibo, Christopher so there should be a good chance of getting cheap nice rented accommodation if you are a bit out of town. I doubt Kalibo is anywhere near as expensive as Manila, we rent a 2 bed very large corner terraced house for 150 quid a month (100 quid a month back when the exchange rate was good) but that is cheap for Manila these days, small condo's can be 300 to 500 quid a month depending on location. In the sticks, well I don't really know but I would think you should be able to get a nice house for 7000 to 10000 peso a month. City condo's also have association dues that can run to quite high numbers per month (pays for the guards and other building services a bit like council tax) in 2005 ours was 15 quid a month on a 100 quid a month condo). Our current house in a subdivision only costs 150 peso a month for security and refuse and all the rest
Well we have about 30 in immediate nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, and a good few in the following generation (after the nieces and nephews) already
wow thats alot right time to get some sleep will speak with her in few hours and work at 7 in the morning have a good night all thx for all the advice really appreciate it
Christopher, welcome to the forum. These guys all make really good points and from personal experience I was feeding that many (30) on average every day for three squares a day for just over 3 weeks last time out and the time before that!! Plus althe beer and wine etc that seemed to be required!!! It got very expensive considering the poor exchange rate!! I have been told it won't happen again as the wife has now realised what was happening, but we'll see next time we go out. I'm not holding my breath. If you go out to the province or anywhere near any family be prepared to bite your tongue and ride with it as you will get tapped up for all sorts of things. They may only be small things at first but it'll soon build. I'm not saying its always like that just be aware of what MAY happen. The important thing is to enjoy yourself of course.
Yeah, all this is good info for Christopher. I was alerted to all this on one of many trips to the Philippines as a single man long before I met my future wife. I travelled to Olongapo / Barrio B about 10 years ago to meet an English friend who was married to a lady but was going through a divorce. As he had children with her, he arranged for her to visit him for a couple of days so he could see his kids. She arrived from Manila in a bus full of family and friends and he had to put everybody up in the hotel and pay for all their meals. He was livid and he wasn't the sort of bloke to lose his temper and tell them all to bugger off. "Never again" was his final comment, he was still seething
thx subseastu taken it all on board im sure i will get tapped up many times i expect this and am prepared for all cost wise ive had to sell my car but its enough to live on for a year or 2 i think lol
im sure it will be fine aposhark i have allowed for the expense i hope how much is enought to take for say 6 month's or a year ? i know this is hard to judge :/
hmmm.. having read all these... hubby's really lucky!!! he never get to feed my family.. my family fed him! My family gave him gifts and stuff and not the other way around.. although the pasalubong is still there... LOL ... i guess it depends on the girl's family.. good luck on your wedding and welcome to the forum!
that sounds like a better deal thx for the positive feedback im sure it will be ok as i offered to pay for my fiance flight and she refused as she would like to pay for herself thanks for the good luck wishes florgew
Living simply in rented accommodation with just you and your partner, 6000 pounds would be comfortable and leave you with enough to have a nice time as well. I were living over there just on my own the absolute bare minimum would be In reality this would be awful, double that would be better but 6 grand would be a lot better The utility figures are realistic, Visa extension fee's fairly accurate, that level of accommodation would be pretty much ok but probably not furnished, so you would have to acquire some furniture as well, but that is not that expensive, Cable TV 500 peso a month extra. I support a family there consisting of my 2 kids, my partner, 2 additional adults and a couple of live in kids sometimes (nieces usually) and it costs me rather more than the above edit: assumptions are renting somewhere in or round about Metro Manila, shopping for food in local markets (a bit more if you are shopping in SM) cooking your own food, not using aircon, and a real exchange rate at the endpoint of 65 peso to the Pound.
A belated warm welcome here Christopher. Looks like you going to be busy as you head for your Philippine adventure. Plenty of experience to help you here, so I wish you good luck.
thx oss i have about 5000 to take plus i always get £200 a month payed into my a/c trust fund so should be plenty
A Warm Welçcme to the Forum Well having read all just now and with a very slow net where to start? First the one year visa you refer to is irrelevant in this case its just multipul entry visa and my view still is just arrive get your 21 days on arrival and then extend after the first renewal every 59 days on the second you will get an ACR Card as a temp resident. You dont say if you have met the lady yet or perhaps i missed it? If you look at my posts from last Jan/Feb you will find All the information re the marriage process, if however you have not yet met in real life and you intend to stay a year or more then my strong recomendation would be to not get you cert of no impedance in the UK but first spend a month getting to know your lady and her family. If it were me and only with the info available I would if all went well relocate to perhaps Cebu and avoid potential pitfalls with family and more important the father, Its vital to know if his name appears on the birth certificate and of course if your lady were married. My darling wife has a 5 year old and neither of these 2 problems existed but even if his name is not on he could at a later date apply to the court to be recognised and cause problems if you all want to leave. Without knowing anything about you what I have read brings up MANY red flags but thats not to say every thing may go as you imagine I have spent 15 months in the last three years in Cebu and heard many stories from expats living there long term and made my own ,fortunatly not to costly mistakes thye first time I went.
when have only met on web cam and have been talking for about 16 months i do know her very well as she knows me we also talk on facebook alot i also know her friends as we all talk as for the birth cert it is only her name on it and she has never been married ive asked her about this problem with the father she is very sure there will not be a problem but i know what you are saying he might suddenly get involved with the child which is only 5 months old but i will cross that bridge when i come to it. if it comes to it i was thinking of adoption but i have no spoke about this with my fiancee think il test the water 1st before i mention that and if i must pay him i will all we want is to be together
