Hi, looking for advice for help with my wife’s mother so she can leave and come here. We have been married for almost 3 years now, and she has her spouse visa after a long appeal granted in Jan this year. The embassy has given her an open time scale for her to start the visa because of their mistake in refusing in the first place. The problem is now her leaving her mother who has suffered with mental health issues, she can look after herself to a point but needs someone to make sure medication is taken and to look after money and bills. My wife has only an uncle and a few Cousens, and they talk a good game but do not back it up. My wife has been looking for a live-in helper to stay and care but still to no avail. My wife will stay and train and see if she can trust and leave the helper. Anyone have any contacts for someone or a company that can help? I have been sending the missis 35,000php per month for 4 years now to run the house and her needs. She has only been able to work a few temp chief jobs in that time. With not being able to leave her mum for a large amount of time. I have been patient and waited, but it’s now getting to long and still in the same situation as I was 4 years ago.
https://www.gov.uk/join-family-in-uk/eligibility Coming to be cared for - you’re an adult dependent relative You must be dependent on a parent, grandchild, brother, sister, son or daughter who is living permanently in the UK. You must prove that: you need long-term care to do everyday personal and household tasks because of illness, disability or your age the care you need is not available or affordable in the country you live in the person you’ll be joining in the UK will be able to support, accommodate and care for you without claiming public funds for at least 5 years you’re 18 or over
One thing at a time. Bring your wife here first. p35,000 is a LOT of money for an average Filipino FAMILY to receive each month. Of course other family members will do nothing while your wife is shouldering the responsibility.... and you are financing it . At least you know where your position is in the hierarchy... at the bottom. Just saying...
your wifes first obligation is to you. so--get her over here and settled in to UK life first---then discuss what to do about your MiL.. for what its worth-----my first wife's mother came to live with us----45 years ago. baaaad mistake. also---have you checked out the visa fees for a dependant adult relative. guess who will foot that lot.
It's the wife she says she can not find the right person to stay and help. But offering a house to live in paid all bills and food with a salary. I thought it would be easier to find someone to live in and offer the care. Yes I think I'm sending to much money per month. But it's what my wife says is needed. But I have not been out there for a year now and 2 years since her month visit here. So getting impatient now.
i wonder who else your supporting with your £500 + youre sending. i was sending money each month--but nothing like that amount. if it were me i would be tempted to revise the amount --downwards---and see what happens.
That's a hell of a lot of money you're sending to the Philippines, hell of a lot, my instinct tells me you may have trouble revising that figure down, especially now the family has got used to this sum of money entering the household each month. I can well understand your frustration, longer your wife remains in the Philippines the harder its going to be for her to leave her family, especially given that the family is going to be less well off when she leaves. Time to put your foot down and get your wife on the big bird to the UK while you can, worry about the mother in laws visa at a later date. Sounds to me there is a possibility you may be being taken advantage of but I could be wrong. My opinion only, I hope you can find a solution to keep everyone happy, good luck
It's not that much, it depends where the family live, in Manila with rent and bills people can struggle to have a basic life on that much, in the provinces it would certainly be quite a lot particularly if there are no children. I send more than that even now, and I have reduced what I send dramatically but I am looking after a house two children and two adults and want them to have at least some modern comforts. Inflation over the last 15 years has been high in the Phils and at least in the big city there is not a vast difference in price between the UK and the Philippines on most basic needs, food is still a bit cheaper, rent is cheaper, but electricity and water are close to UK prices, internet and phone are more expensive, clothes can be cheaper here in the likes of Primark or at least matching the cheapest markets over there, electronics are the same price or dearer and most second hand goods are vastly overpriced compared to our second hand market. Combine that with the GBP exchange rate and we are not so different nowadays, my reference point is living in a typical UK town compared to living anywhere in Manila.
Ok. But I was asking for ideas on help for MIL. But they live in Manila. My wife also has a daughter in pvt school. With her mum having mental health issues there are check ups and medication to take in too. My wife and step daughter (11) can't leave her alone and I can't make her choose to leave her mum with out help and support in place. We own the house and land in pasig where the house is, it's trying to find someone who would live there and take care of mum for a salary and home. It's been a long time to get to this point and have visas. But I thought finding someone to work would be the easy part,
It's very hard to find someone hardworking and passionate to take care of someone with health needs like in your MIL's case. People with mental health problems need special attention. But the level of care would depend on the type of mental illness the person is suffering from. Also, psychiatric medication is really expensive. You may want to hire a caregiver or a private duty nurse at a certain fee. Newly graduate ones won't cost you a lot and your MIL would be in good hands because she will be monitored properly. Also they have licenses, NBI clearances and IDs. When your wife and step daughter are here in the UK, one can work and can help you with the cost.
I suggest hiring a private nurse that will look after your mother-in-law. Most nurses in ph earns about php6k to php8k a month, so someone would be willing to look after one patient with that amount, instead of working in a hospital. She can start looking by going to a university that have nursing department and inquire if they know anyone who wants a job. Of course family friends or personal recommendation is better but that is a limited option. And once your wife is working in the UK, she can shoulder that cost out of her salary but talk to her in detail what she can send to ph (im saying she might feel guilty about leaving her mum there and would try to compensate it by sending more money) so its better if you can agree from the start.
So you have not bothered to see your wife for over a year? Now she wants to bring her sick mother to the UK so she can access free healthcare. Don't let the press get hold of this one!
No one has said to bring her mom here to the uk. Maybe you should learn to read. I ask for any help in finding someone there to help.
i misunderstood what you wrote at the beginning. i thought you meant "wife’s mother so she can leave and come here."
So the wife and step daughter can come here, they have the spouse and dependant visa, The embassy being kind because of the refusal mistake. My wife's mom can not be left alone she will not be able to cope or be able to look after herself. My wife will not think of a residential home as with moms mental health it would be custodial, and if she has someone around she is fine to do most anything. So its only home help that will answer this, But that seems easier said than done. As for the prick that said I had not bothered to see my wife its a matter of choice to help and support them to be able to live and fix things to come here or a holiday. And sometimes you have to think of more than just yourself. Just wondered if anyone had any ideas, And thanks for the ones above. Or knew of anyone that would be suitable to help.
Agree, his subject is misleading. Somehow, I found that We can apply for my mum to stay here for good with us. Interesting because she is my dependant and She lives alone since My son I left the country. She is currently here with us on a visit visa until before it expires. Anybody has experience in bringing their parents over here to settle?
Hello, I would strongly suggest hiring a carer to look after your mother-in-law through a credible agency.
