I want to look at the motivation in some families in the Philippines and the way they behave. I have noticed that some Filipinos have a laid back mentality ..... some just don't want to work or to strive, but of course not all. Although we could say that there are some problem families that live on benefits, in the Philippines there are no benefits. To understand this paradigm / culture I have created a word picture, which Bagwis he became a driver - he got married to a woman called Joy, quite by accident as another woman's family were after him. He was the son of a judge and Joy became pregnant soon after the marriage - the first baby was a boy and as he grew - Bagwis became annoyed at his son. He did not help his wife with the chores. Although he lived with Joy he still had his previous girlfriend. Two years later Joy had another baby - a girl and Bagwis gave her no help whatsoever at looking after the children. He would leave the house at 0500 and return at 10pm or 11pm - in fact they grew distant together. Joy was always helping Bagwis but he did not help her - he wanted sex all the time, but would not help her in the house. Joy was a strong Catholic and prayed and prayed for Bagwis to pay attention. When he didn't change she refused to give him sex. Then 7 years later she had a sexual relationship with him again and she gave him another daughter. Again Bagwis wasn't there for the family and so on. Marriage in the Philippines is different then - than it is perceived in the UK - but is it so different?
We come from different worlds, but have fun meeting in the middle. I go with the flow now, rather than constantly look at life there from a 'western' stand-point. Only gives me a headache.
Not enough info really... Could hypothesise that because he's the son of a judge he's probably rich and as long as he is supporting her that's enough (like when the Filipina marries a Kano!)
No difference really. In the UK there is a Bagwis and Joy somewhere emulating exactly the same life. Bagwis = He who speaks in riddles
Mattecube hasn' a sweet clue about the original post! Only Joy I know was Born free as free as the grass grows....
I guess so. I know these two Pinoy couples. The husband is capable enough. He's a good cook and used to work in a hospital as a porter. But for some reason, he just left the job. Now the husband doesn't work and just lives on benefits and mooches from the wife. He reasons like he's looking for a job and whatnot. I even tried to help him on several occasions as I have several connections and know a lot of jobs due to my history as a recruiter. Then he made excuses like the salary is low, he'll just take short courses or open his own restaurant (and all that he needs is funding.) That attitude of his actually caused a strain in his marriage. They fought a lot in regards to money. The husband also had this temper, that he'll just go aggressive towards everyone (especially when he's drunk). His own daughter is even afraid of him. The husband by the way have children from other women. Anyway that is just one example. I'm also Pinoy by the way and I do admit that I am also laid-back but not that laid-back that I don't strive or work hard enough. I'm only laid-back in the way that I'd rather choose a stress-free job but less money than vice-versa. I work to live and not live to work.
I have mainly visited the Philippines on work related activities in the Oil industry and I have only ever come across hard working professionals. My main philippino circle I guiess have been the people who work in the Cayman Islands and they work their socks off for their families. I am aware of at least a couple of people working abroad where their partner back in phil are basically lazy asses kept by the money sent home. These are usually guys as well. Its only the phil divorce laws that keep them well fed to be honest because there is a thriving community of "good friends" I would guess in many overseas communities. I am generalising based up on very anecdotal information and the plural of annecdotal is not data
"Cuts in welfare are presented as necessary evils by the government, undesirable but unavoidable. Yet the figures do not back this argument. The number of benefits investigators has increased substantially in recent years, from 2,600 to 3,700 from 2015 to 2016, while only 700 people investigate the super-rich. This is despite the fact benefits fraud costs the government around £1.3bn a year compared to around £34bn for tax evasion. Yet the propaganda from government has been such that a survey showed Britons believe 24% of benefits claims are fraudulent – 34 times higher than the official estimate of 0.7%." https://www.theguardian.com/comment...claimants-fear-supermarkets-spy-poor-disabled
Yawn. As an ex-employee of the Benefits Agency, reality impresses me more than dogma. Maybe you meant to post in the (another yawn) politics section ?
How about we stick to the subject at hand. If you want to debate the wrongs and rights of UK welfare, which will always lead to a right vs left discussion, start your own thread in the politics section. Thanks.
I find the difference in culture and attitudes to life between the Philippines and the U.K. is vast . Work wise , the difference is big , obviously due to a large extent , by the lack of job opportunities available to the average Filipino with only basic education . I feel also it is the old comparison of the Uk attitude of " live to work" rather than other countries , and not only Philippines , "work to live ". Filipinos' happy disposition , despite their challenging life , their friendliness and generosity , in my view , puts us to shame , considering our lives here . Regarding marriage , and children , attitudes and behaviour is also different . Probably largely due to their divorce laws , and also there are cultural differences I see . All of this makes for an interesting relationship between the two cultures , with compromises needing to be made by both parties to make it work . I'm sure by the number of couples on this forum , that most will say it's well worth the effort .
