Just wondering - divorce in the uk ?

its also difficult to hit a moving target!
i think if he returns to the UK--sells up then rents a place for them--theres really not a lot that can be done.

I disagree. I've seen divorce cases where exactly the situation I described happened. The court merely ordered him to pay half the value of the asset. The sum in question was collected by deduction by the employer from wages like any other debt and is not dischargeable in bankruptcy. Total failure and refusal to pay is deemed contempt of court, punishable by a jail sentence. The court is also able to order the sale of other assets or possessions he owns or impose an automatic charge against any future property he owns. There is certainly a lot that can be done.

All getting very subjective, the op needs to form a heartfelt decision for himself his kids and his wife.

You can't but surprisingly (to me anyway) in Scotland: assets owned by either party before the marriage or those gifted or inherited aren't classed as matrimonial property.