No Fool Like an Old Fool

I finally learned the truth today.

My ex-fiancee, who ended our 'engagement' a few months ago, actually re-married three years ago after I paid for her annulment!

I am devastated.

Bad news, guys. And a reminder to some of the rest of us to stay on our guard a little. I like to think it couldnt happen to me. But one just never knows.

My ex girlfriend ripped me off something wicked. It was hard to end the relationship though as I was besotted by her. Older man, younger woman. A change of job and a move several hundred miles away here in the Isle of Man helped to put an end to it.

My current wife appears to be a little gem. I hope and pray that it stays that way.

Howerd, these things do happen; when we fall in love we take a big risk, and sometimes things go wrong.

My Filipina ex-wife, sixteen years younger than I, seemed quite settled in England, we had the regulation house two children and a cat, she didn't work until the younger boy was six, then got a good steady job. Everything in the garden, including the garden, was lovely. Then she announced that she no longer loved me. I said, as one does, that we should try to stay together for the sake of the children. Two weeks later she left the house in the middle of the night. I found out later from my older son that she had been asking his advice on how to use the Internet in order to cruise dating sites, and had a boyfriend in the nearby large town. No explanation ever offered. She may just have been bored. Or maybe she worried that the older boy, who looks nothing like me or his brother and who patently isn't mine, genetically speaking, though I've brought him up and it makes no difference to me, might become a source of friction if I "found out" what I've known for some years. Because I wanted her to feel secure, I paid for the building, before we married, of quite a nice house which she owns in the Philippines. We had known each other for seventeen years and been married for thirteen of them.

The only reason I am not feeling terribly bitter is that quite by chance I ran into a younger, prettier, much more intelligent woman and we hit it off, so I am three years into what might be the next big mistake - but so far so good.

The best advice I can offer is "try again".

Really sorry to hear about everyones mis-fortunes. It is horrible when things like this happen and it can be a real blow. I know its hard to remain postive and its only natural to feel low after such a thing has happened but those feelings won't last for long. It is important to remember that these actions are not just limited to women in the Philippines but all over the world BUT it is even more important to remember that not all women act this way and somewhere out there there will be someone who will treat and respect you as you do to them.

There is sort of irony here.

Philippines is a land of superstitions but I am not in the least superstitious.

Then it hit me - I learned of this on Friday 13th in the thirteenth decade of this century.

She could not even tell the truth when she ended the relationship. She claimed to end it because she had sex with a stranger who rescued her from her first husband (who she claimed to be still married to) and so she felt 'guilty' to continue the relationship.

She claimed to be working 12 hours each day in Siquijor away from her son in Cebu, so I was paying for a nanny.

Just a few days ago I said I would get her a lifejacket, following that ferry disaster. But she said she did not need lifejacket, only money because she had to skip meals as she did not have enough to live on.

I don't suppose her house burned down either, nor did she lose money in the bank that collapsed.

Of course the biggest lie to stop me seeing her was that her first husband (who she claimed she was still married to) would get me arrested if I entered the country.

And it was clearly nonsense when she told me that not only did she lose all annulment documents in the house fire but her lawyer had retired to a remote island with his second wife where there was no phone coverage.

Now, for someone who can spot a scam pretty easily and take time to investigate, why did I do nothing until now? Obviously, love made me blind.

Good bit of self analysis there, Howerd.

Time to start again. With all the money that you are now not sending, buy yourself a plane ticket...

Subseastu is quite right and I must add, considering Yuna's similar misfortune, not all men are like that either.

During nearly four years that I have not seen her I often thought about jumping on a plane to surprise her. I wish I had done that now.

But at least I have finally learned the truth which means I can move on.

I feel sorry for her now, I think she must have had a really broken childhood, that I have only just learned about.

Yes. Love is blind and one lives in hope.

I'm very sorry that you were scammed like this. Shame on this kind of Filipino women!
Oftentimes, I see a pair of an older Caucasian man with a much younger Filipino woman and I always wonder (as most people here would) if it's love they feel for each other. I've known some women who entered into a relationship with foreigners for their money. It's a shame really. One common sight you see in a restaurant is the foreigner paying the bill for the entire family of the woman. Why in the world will a woman let her partner do such a thing? It doesn't matter if the foreigner partner volunteered. She should not take her whole family then if they expect the foreigner to pay for everyone. This alone is already a sign that the woman is only in it for the money. Men, beware!