currently separated from my british husband

Balot,

Thank you for the warm symphathy and encouragement, i maybe hurting right now scared and fearful but it's the only way for me to figure it out,i am a believer of god and deep inside whatever this things that is going through in my life and in my marriage has some meaning/purpose that i need to know and you are right in saying that if we are really meant together we really are...as i remember b4 that there was no distance and no obstacle that we had never gotten through because we had the love for one another,he is confused and he needs to figure what he wants in his life,he is struggling in finding happiness,for some point in life there are just some people that are not happy and will do their best to destroy you but you know what no one can destroy a good person.

I am sure that i am going to come out much more stronger from this...I am so glad i found this new BRITISH-FILIPINO FUROM.

When we live with resentment toward another our hearts close down. Letting go of our resentment frees us from placing blame on
them and allows us to look toward ourself for peace
and remember "God gave us 2 ears to hear, 2 eyes to see, 2 hands to hold. But why did God only give us one heart?... Because he wants us to
find the other one."

take care of yourself and be strong i know you are:grouphug:

NO MATTER what happen dont you dare to give your son..that is the only treasure you have..siily to say but true ..even if you lost your husband ..the child is more impt that loosing the husband in my opinion but seriously..do not give your son even you will decide a divorce..your not on a state of starvation i think that you'll worry too much about giving away your son..think you know what i mean..though some of us have different opinion ..and ideas ..but am just saying to what ive feel

I think youre right in saying not to give away your child because the best care you can ever have is from a very loving mother. We are the one who carried them 9 months on our body and that you cant never ever let go no matter what.
The thought of losing a husband hurts but the thought of losing a child is extremely painful.
I might get over about losing a husband but i will never ever gonna be whole again if i lose my child.
Nothing compares to the care of mother to a child.

thats my girl:vhappy: and am happy to hear that from you sis well said

Sorry to hear about your situation Eljean...
It's hard to be a single parent especially if you don't have family to help you. I once been a single parent with my elder son, having my family around had help alot as I was working and my Mum took care of my son everytime I was at work. Here, it will be much harder for you coz your family are all in PI. Just be strong and get all your strength from your son. Think and do what is best for you both. I agree with sis Balot, no matter how hard it will be never give your son to ur husband. Your son need the best care that only a mother can give.
As for now till your son is ready to go to primary school, seek help from the government as much as you can. Anyway it will only be temporary. Once he'll be fulltime in school you can able to work, there are companies that are giving mothers to work same hours as the kids goes to school...
Wish you all the best! Take care of yourself and your son! xx

hi Eljean,

So sorry to hear about your marriage... I'll pray for you... don't worry.. this too shall pass ...

adamchryss,

It's ok,i know that i am not alone in this thing(being single mum),i am scared as this is new to me and im on my own here with my son but i am just thankful that somehow i have some filipino friends/neighbhours that i can go visit and they been giving me encouragement about not to worry to much about raising my boy here as i could get help from the council here and also they have already offered me their home in case i ever become homeless.I am scared for the things that i don't know but i guess its nature.
Yes,it is only the childcare that i find it hard but then,im sure ill figure out something.
For now i am just taking one step at a time in dealing with this matter.
My heart is hurting and my mind is numbing but i know this thing will pass i just need to get through this.
I believe god is with me in every step of the way.
I am quite grateful that since i become a single mother i have learned so much things around and done things i never thought i could do and i could say that this experience is going to a big learning experience for me.All single mum i known are the strongest people in all because of what they been through.
But in times like this do think about your family back home how you wish they are around when times like this...
My mum is a single mum herself and with the other 5 siblings so i know how it is like to be in it's was so hard but my mum has to be away for while so she can provide for all of us and to be away from my mum at one time it was hard and that is the thing that i don't want to happen to my son.
I just want my son to know/show that i love him and to be there for him until he's grown up.
My son is going to start going to school full time next year and i have already 2 job that i think will work for me,hopefully....

FlorgeW,

It's ok, Thank you so much for the prayers and i really need loads of them,i know this will pass and i am gonna get through this...

You are better off to approach Citizen Advice Bureau (CAB) if you are taking care of your child he has no right to claim for the child benefits. If you are not earning any penny they will assesst you and give you weekly child tax credit Visit this site http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/leaflets/wtc2.pdf
and when this application is successful they will also offer you a housing benefits, NHS etc.
As a single mother it is tough but you just have to be strong and know your rights! Eventually you can do it!

But I must say sometimes, there's a time we should swallow our pride, if he is not harming you physically why not try to talk to him and ask if he still wants you back? It doesn't mean he quit and left that he should be the one to go back. What if he wants you to ask him to stay? Marriage works if both sides are willing to give and take! If you want your marriage to work out, be more patient and forgiving!