Financial worries

We do have a certain unspoken discipline here in the UK especially amongst the older generation, big problems will arise here if the youth of today lose that discipline.

It is a discipline that was instilled in us from our parents as we grow up, it is important to know right from wrong.

I remember having a discussion with her about the police here and how they don't carrying guns. She seemed to doubt my words at first.

She asked what happens when the police catch people breaking the law as they don't have guns. I said, they tell them to stop what they are doing and they stop.

That cracked her up. She thought it was brilliant.

There are certain things we take for granted here, it is good for your wife to point things out like that, we don't always appreciate what we have here in the UK.

Well I have posed the question to my partner of coming here for 6 months and not marrying...
He is not at all happy at that question.

It would be better of course if he could respect your decision, a very wise decision you have made in my and your Mothers opinion

You will know then for sure, six months is long enough to see where your relationship is going. I think I would be speaking for a lot of people here if I said I would have preferred it if we were not given the six months to get married in by the UKVI, I could have quite happily just lived with my now wife. Personally, having been forced into marriage by the UKVI takes a lot of the romance out of it, its being together that counts after all.

I really hope @LisaUK replies to this thread or at least sends you a private message as she could probably set your mind at ease with one or two things, as you know, most of us here on the forum are married to Filipinas.

You have made the right decision

He does not think so he is throwing things at me now like I can afford to cruise, yes I could but that was because I saved all year and worked for that holiday, and before I had committed to buying house and to looking seriously getting my partner across here.
He knows which buttons to press with me.
I am struggling to get through to him about in real life it Is not all rainbows and love hearts, you need to find out how things are when not in idyllic holiday setting.

reading the OP again--it says you have already paid the visa app fee ? so he might as well come for the 6 months anyway--if he gets the visa. but tell him to buy a return ticket.

He doesn't sound like he is very passive which is a very common trait of the Filipino, he seems to have a little bit cheek by questioning and doubting your personal financial status, he should respect and believe what you tell him.

I am a little surprised to how he is reacting to your more than reasonable questions and to your legitimate concerns. If you have a concern with your partner then it is a reasonable assumption that you can discuss it as adults and come to a satisfactory conclusion, that's what a team does, a little bit of give and take needs to come into play.

From what Jumil has said I definitely think she is doing the right thing. She's obviously had a realisation of things, an eye opener if you will. Definitely better to realise at this stage that 3 years down the line. Sounds like he has spat his dummy somewhat because things aren't going quite as he expected. It's been said, he needs to respect your decision, he has to, your the one paying for it and more importantly, he's not acknowledging the reality. If he experienced the normal everyday running of life here he might be more understanding of Jumil. So for me, as I said before, get him here. Let him see reality.

He has stated he is not wanting to come for 6 month and then go home again as he seems to think he will be black listed for 6 month if goes home not marry.

If you are getting a fiance visa then it would be with the intention of getting married, so it's reasonable for him to expect that to be part of it - especially asyou will have presumable made enquiries about weddings and so on before applying.

If you get a fiance visa and then don't marry it would certainly look a bit odd if applying for another one in the future.

I'd say you need to be certain that he's the one for you before applying for such a thing.

Just do what we did. Expensive visa / cheap wedding!

If coming on a visit visa (much cheaper anyway) that would not apply.

referring back to the opening post in this thread;

I have sent all paper work away and paid the charge for the paper submission to the immigration in Manila,

so--you must have submitted the application on your partners behalf------including the evidence of your financial requirements--and suitable accommodation?

also--i presume you filed your application before the latest NHS surcharge came into force ?

so--when did you file the online application ?

Yes the paperwork has been sent the application and yes this was filed before the NHS Charge came into force.
My accommodation is with my parents who have agreed to this in the short term, not a long term solution which was why I have been actively looking for a house to buy.
I mailed it all to him and he went to the embassy last week the 9th April.

when did you submit the online application ?

Pretty sure you don't need to pay it, then.

There has been a link posted previously which said it is not applicable on applications paid for before 6 April.

My paperwork arrived in the Philippines at least a week before it was delivered (it was being processed in Manila) On the 7/4/15 this is when I paid the appointment fee, unlucky a day too late typical.
Making sure he is the one is what I need to do but can not see him agreeing to a tourist visa to see how it goes in real world.

Making sure he is the one is what I need to do but can not see him agreeing to a tourist visa to see how it goes in real world.

i think its highly unlikely he could get a tourist visa--especially as you have now applied for a settlement visa.
however--if he is successful with his application--it gives you up to 6 months together--in which time you either get married--or call it quits--in which case he has to leave the UK as he wont get FLR.