Hey there, everybody!

Hey, I'm Kev. 36 years old, from Plymouth.

Just a little background on myself, my girlfriend, and why I decided to join.

I currently have a girlfriend from Manila, we've been dating online for about three months previously, and made it official at the start of this month (even though we were already together).

So, it will be some time before she can move here with me. I have much to organise beforehand (house in need of repairs, better work, passport so I can visit her first, etc.), but we are both determined. So in the meantime, between now and sorting out a visit to PH, we're looking at what needs to be done to move her and her daughter here with me in the future, just so we at least know what procedures to take.

The gov.uk website has some information, which I have bookmarked for now, but it's somewhat limited. It doesn't answer questions such as: Does it matter where we get married, and what effect will it have on future visas and so on? I find it such a chore to use. It's an accurate representation of our government and it's organisation, I think lol.

I figured the best place to ask would be somewhere that people have gone through the procedures themselves, and have first-hand knowledge of the legalities of such tasks. Any help or advice regarding marriage, visas and permits, etc., would be greatly appreciated! I hope you all have a wonderful day.

hi--welcome to the site. a few questions--

have you 2 actually met in person yet ?

is she married?

has she ever been married ?

Thanks very much!

Not yet, but I am hoping to visit next year (unsure exactly when, but it's definitely happening). It's easier for me to go there, as she has a daughter to look after, and I'll have more disposable income next year. It's going to be a long road, but we're just preparing ourselves for the potential future and finding out everything we can. We have no idea about the logistics of such things, so asking advice is the best route.

No, she isn't married, and hasn't been before. I'm hoping to have that honour soon.

is her childs father named on the birth certificate ?

No it isn't. She put down "unknown" on the certificate. Will that be an issue, do you think?

not at all--it will make it a lot easier when the time comes for a settlement visa. but thats a long way off.
i would strongly suggest you get yourself over there as soon as--and often--to meet your future.

Oh, that's fantastic news! Exactly, it's a way down the line just yet. There is a lot to do beforehand, but that is very good to hear. For the moment, we are focusing on seeing each other. We're both looking for better work, and both so determined to have a life together.

That's the first thing on the agenda, for sure. Get some visits done. We're just interested in everything else that comes afterwards. Visiting is the easy part lol.

Sloooow down pardner. You're coming across as a lovesick teenager !

Wait til you meet. Her breath may smell. She may have a secret hubby or boyfriend. She might fart a lot, or snore loudly. Soooo many possibilities.

There are literally MILLIONS of sweet and pretty young ladies in the Philippines. Personally I'd go for one without children ! ... if I knew now what I didn't know 28 years ago.

We actually joke about us acting like schoolkids sometimes.

I know some of you will be saying be cautious, but you don't need to worry. Sure, it sounds like we're rushing things, but it all feels right. If you could see how we are, you wouldn't worry, believe me.

I'll have some competition if she farts and snores then! Finally lol.

She wouldn't be the person I love now, if she didn't have a daughter. I'm more than prepared to take on the responsibility. We've already talked about what to do, and how to approach the situation. Slowly but surely preparing for the change (slowly for us, at least anyhow).

Hi Kev , welcome to the forum . You will find lots of helpful advice here from members who have experience of the things that you are planning .

It will be great if it all works out the way that you are hoping , and it may well do so , but
If I may , I would like to give you two important pieces of advice

Definitely, go to visit your lady where she lives . Spend time to get to know her very well , meet her friends and family, and have a great time together, before making any long term plans . I’m sure you will agree that marriage is a big and important step to take , and you need to know each other very well before that happens .

Please , before you have taken step one , do not consider sending any money to your lady . Hopefully she will never ask or ‘ hint’ at you to do so .
I appreciate that you will want to help , if money is needed , but it is a very unwise thing to do , as many people will tell you from their experiences.

Please don’t be offended by these two paragraphs, it’s to help you to proceed successfully, with the relationship, and eventually get to where you want to be , together with your beloved .

If you have any questions along the way , I’m sure you find the answers somewhere here .
Good luck to you both , take your time , to get it right .

a word of caution. we on here strongly urge anyone NOT to send sums of money to someone they have never even met. we have heard it all--grandma needs new teeth... mobile phone been stolen--carabao needs vets treatment....need i say any more ?

Welcome.... is that your real name your posting under? If so you might want to ask admin to help you remove it and have a nickname instead!

How can you be discussing marriage and planning to propose when you've never even met? That's mental.

Wait until you've got over the "honeymoon period" and know each other properly (or at all) before thinking of marriage would be my advice.

Okay, let's just get all of your own worries out of the way and focus on what I actually came here for, please? I'm only here to ask about what procedures to do in the potential (that being the keyword there) future we might have together.

I'm sorry if this worries you, but that's for me and her to deal with. I'm not here to discuss what you might think is best for our relationship. We both know what we want, and we're making a go of it. We've spent the last three months speaking all day, every day, about everything, for so many hours, practically non-stop. Face-to-face via Skype as well, not just messaging. I know her, and she knows me, even if we haven't actually met in-person.

I didn't think people would start getting all involved, to be honest. I only came here for advice on visas and such.

Ok. You need to go through it step by step.

Step 1: You need to have met in person.

Step 2: If you plan to bring her and her daughter to the UK you need to earn a minimum of £22,400 per year.

do bear in mind there are 10000's of south east asian girls on online dating sites--who would probably sell their souls for a chance to settle in the west. we have had numerous cases on here of starry eyed guys in intense internet relationships. many crash and burn. none of us want to misguide you. just trying to show you the bigger picture.

Oh, I do understand completely. I don't mean to sound all bent-out-of-shape about it, but that side of things is something I'll deal with, whatever the outcome. I'm prepared for both eventualities, believe me. I'm no stranger to heartbreak, online and off.

I'm not just flying in, eyes shut (even though I know it sounds like it). It's just too personal, to have people I don't know giving their opinions on a relationship they know nothing about, regardless of how many have come before me. That is reserved for my family and closest friends, who have already given me their cautionary messages combined with optimism lol.

I hope you understand my reasoning for saying it. I'm not trying to cause friction or seem dismissive. I've had Internet relationships before, (only a couple, mind you) and am familiar with the game.

I do appreciate the concern, honestly I do, but you need not worry.

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So, a visit is definitely on the cards. Just need to organise a few things beforehand at home. It will only be a holiday, for two weeks, so I wouldn't need a visa to stay as it's only 14 days. Already got a few bits and pieces bookmarked leading up to when I'm able to go. That's the utmost important thing being dealt with, trust me on that.

Well, the minimum wage next year is being increased to over £23k, so even with a bare minimum job that wouldn't be a problem. Obviously I'm not looking to stay in bare minimum employment, as I would want to be able to provide sufficient support for my family (and another unforeseen events that may occur, such as hospital bills, unexpected repairs, and so on). She would be looking to work also, when everything is settled.

Minimum wage next year is 8.21 per hour. On a 40 hour week that is less that 18,000 per year.

Of course it is. Sorry, I got my maths completely wrong there. Well, that is something I'll have to sort out. But as I said, the actual moving here isn't going to be for some time anyhow. I'm literally just gathering information at this point. Nothing has been set in stone yet, regardless of personal feelings. Just trying to understand what needs to be done.