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How Do You Split Expenses With Your Partner Or Spouse?

Discussion in 'General Chit Chat' started by ana77, Nov 7, 2017.

  1. ana77
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    ana77 New Member

    hi i just move to uk months ago and a got a job, but my partner earn £20,000 a year while i earn £15,000 a year. my partner demand to split the rent, utilities and food equally and my partner told me he paid for my visa fee and it's time for me to help him. don't get me wrong i dont want to be selfish and I'm willing to pay for that, i just wanna ask if this is normal for british people? thank you
  2. John Surrey
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    John Surrey Active Member

    I think that's quite a normal arrangement - and quite sensible too - unless he's a big eater and you're not :)

    Is he asking you to pay back the Visa fees too then ?
  3. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    youve got off light !
  4. Brom27
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    Brom27 Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    We talked about this, my partner and I. He still pays for the mortgage, utility bills and council tax himself coz I told him even without me being here in the UK he will still pay for all these. Food wise, I pay for it now. I eat a lot so it’s fair enough I pay for it.

    When it comes to visa things, since we also talked about it, I told him he must pay for the fees since I’m his responsibility when it comes to that. I promised to help if he struggles on that since it’s both our commitment.
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Drunken Max
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    Drunken Max Active Member

    There is no right answer is the truth. I have friends who both have their own bank accounts and a joint one for costs. All sorts of arrangements and its wrong to judge just because its different. what we all probably aim for is one joint account, in time. Dont fight about money, its a disease to relationships
    • Agree Agree x 4
  6. graham59
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    graham59 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a promising start. :(

    Me and the first Mrs ...to whom I was married for 15 years, had separate bank accounts. I could afford to pay for all bills, but she of course contributed what she could reasonably afford from her salary, plus the child benefits, (for my two stepchildren, plus our boy) which were in her name.
    Naturally, as a Filipina, she also sent money home to family... which I did NOT moan about.

    I would also never dream of asking my 'loved one' for the visa money back.

    That is just ... well, mustn't swear on here. :oops:
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2017
    • Like Like x 4
  7. Bootsonground
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    Bootsonground Well-Known Member

    My wages and her wages went into a joint account..
    Expenses were deducted and the rest was savings.
    Any money spending decisions agreed amicably.
    If I earned a bit of grey area cash in hand every now and again,thats none of your business!!
    • Like Like x 3
  8. Maharg
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    Maharg Well-Known Member

    I earn more than my wife. After I have paid mortgage and bills we are left with about the same amount, which seems fair to me.

    I have never asked her for money towards bills or living expenses as I don't think it's neccesary.

    Ifbyou are earning 20,000 and 15,000 then I can see why you would need to split expenses, although the person earning more should surely pay a larger amount.

    I am paying visa fees too. Just one more to go!!
  9. Aromulus
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    Aromulus The Don Staff Member

    What's mine is her's............ And what's her's is her's........

    :confused:
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 3
  10. Alexnew
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    Alexnew Active Member

    We share the mortgage etc 50/50 even though I earn a fair amount more. We both have our own accounts and also a joint account that we both pay a specific amount to each month. I pay for the additional extras such as sky and tfc.
  11. Mattecube
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    Mattecube Gone Trusted Member

    Yep that's my approach also.
  12. Mattecube
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    Mattecube Gone Trusted Member

    Only if he struggles!
  13. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    our case is the opposite to most of the above. my wife earns a lot more than i do--i just get the state pension.

    i do not have a mortgage--or pay rent.

    all monthly bills--c/tax...utilities and licences---come out of my bank a/c.

    she has her own bank a/c--but i have a debit card on it as well. her salary is paid into it. all weekly shopping and car fuel comes out of her a/c.

    so--all in all--its about an equal division. it means she can send money home for her family--and--unlike most of her co-workers--there is some left over each month.
  14. Maley
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    Maley Active Member

    It depends on your arrangement. You both have to talk about it first and make sure you say your piece.

    First, mortgage or rent is a big chunk of family expenses. I would treat it differently if its mortgage vs rent.
    Food and utilities can be split equally - you can argue that you dont eat that much compared to him (and if you are cooking), you shouldnt contribute more.
    Visa cost can be split equally as well- you both agreed on that fee when you decided to move to the uk and not him to ph.

    Have you talked about savings? Retirement? Or how about if you have kids and you stop for a few months? How will you pay for your share? Etc How about sending money to ph? Some resent that though some doesnt mind it.

    In the end, it all about what you talked and agreed with your husband.

    In my situation, all my current salary is going towards paying the visa cost. Once that is done, it will all go towards savings, retirement, travel and future visa cost.
  15. firew0myn
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    firew0myn Active Member

    All of our bills are debited from my husband's current account because that's how it's been set up even before I moved here. We decided to keep it that way because it is just too much of a hassle to change things. I have my own bank accounts (for salary and savings) and he has the same. We also have our joint account. I deposit my share, which is half of our expenses directly to his savings account. We then deposit a fixed amount monthly to our joint account. This works for us because we both have our own spending money and a joint one for whatever we want to do with it. My husband offered to pay for my visa fees but I declined. I knew back then he didn't have a lot of savings so it didn't feel right.

    Don't feel bad if your husband is asking for half of the share of expenses. Marriage is a partnership and I feel it is only right to help him out. Try it for a couple of months and if you are struggling then have a conversation with him and explain how things are. What helped us is a spreadsheet of monthly expenses so we see where our money goes. Give it a shot. :)
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  16. Alexnew
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    Alexnew Active Member

    That's pretty much the same as my wife and I. She likes to split things equally.
  17. firew0myn
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    firew0myn Active Member

    If both have the means then I think it is only fair :) If my husband is earning twice as much as I am and asked me for half, that will definitely trigger a conversation :D
  18. uklove
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    uklove Active Member

    For us it's easy. I give my wife some of my money and she spends it! :D
    She is a full time Mum, so I'll let her off :D
    It is normal to share expenses here though, usually based on the relative salaries.
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