Sending allowances to the Philippines.

Very true. All a part of the child like "live in the present" mentality, which, if we are honest, is a part of what we find attractive.

Whether this is down to the Catholic church, or to what our great grandparents would have called "Malay fatalism", is a bit beyond me.

The conclusion seems to be that no, none of us can cite a single success story.

In the words of a friend who has run a business there for twenty years, "After a few years, you really get to know the value of a peso!"

It may be as well to point out that the tendency to "live in the present" is not confined to money matters.

I think most of us knew before setting off on our Filipino journey that money/remittance would be an issue that we had to deal with.

Indeed, but it is something that everyone should be aware of. Part of the basic survival kit, like eating rice with your hand, using a pail and dipper, and so on.

You're right, everyone should be aware, people who meet their loved ones on the internet by chance likely know nothing about their culture, and remittance is firmly embedded in that culture as you well know.

I bet it comes as quite a shock to some people

This was part of Sean's plan when he started to put together Euro Pinoy - to have the basic survival kit all together in one place.

I am thinking that one thing we can perhaps do in Seans' memory is to dust it off and keep working on it.

One of my neighbours is the wife of a Filipino OFW working in Saudi.
He gets a 3 week paid leave home once a year, usually at Christmas.
Just how many family members are living there in the house I can't make out but there are 4 women always there and around 6 children between probably aged between just couple of months and 15
There are 3 men live there from time time.
There are 2 maids.

There are cars, motorbikes, flat screen TV's, computers, tablets etc etc.

The thing is the wife of the OFW seems to be always short of money.
She borrowed P500 from my wife and paid it back after 2 weeks. The she borrowed P1000 which my wife chased for about a month.

A few weeks ago she begged for P5000 which, needless to say, was refused.
She now no longer speaks to us. Well not quite true she speaks but no longer as friendly as she was. (thanks for that)

Just how much that poor OFW is having to send every month is hard to imagine.
I don't think anyone is working.

The point is, it's not just the foreigner who gets used as an ATM

A survival guide is a very apt term to use for sure . I couldn't agree more that everyone entering into a relationship with a Filipino should be made aware.

I know for a fact that if I was sending money to the Philippines to the wife's family then I would be embroiled in arguments with her on a regular basis, that I am certain of, as you know we all have different opinions on whether we should send money at all, who we send it to and how much we send, everyone's views on this should be respected as it is down to each of us to choose.

What would annoy me above anything else if I was sending money would be if the "Oliver" scenario kicked in, I'm sure you understand what I mean by this.

And it just goes to show the old saying is right, "if you want to lose your friends lend them money."

Some OFWs I feel for, they are under so much financial pressure from their families and extended family at home.

That's where I'm lucky. Until now my wife hadn't lived in the Philippines for over 34 years. The last 13 years was spent in England.
She fully understands how we've been taken in and is hopping mad about it.
So we have no disagreements

But I can see how remittances can create domestics conflicts.

hind sight is a precise science. i wonder how far internet-based relationships would progress if no money was made available. if the brit guy made it clear his asian sweet heart would have to pay her visa fees--flights etc. herself.

I think we all know the answer to that one bigmac

A sight pointed out to me by my Fil-Am quondam sister in law in the street of Molave, Zamboanga del Sur, aka Hicksville, population 50,000...

Chap roars up to Cebuana pawnbrokers on a motorbike, with his girlfriend on the back.
He is picking up the remittance that his OFW wife has just sent him from Saudi Arabia...

is it true--i recall reading somewhere the average filipino family income is about £35 a week ?

The minimum wage per week in Manila, I think, is around £40-45.. Not sure, the £35 may be for other regions.

The minimum wage is a poor guide as there is so much underemployment.

I wrote an article in EuroPinoy on this.

That is true.

Sorry if this writing is off-topic . My reason for including it is to give an impression of a life here in Davao City for most folks.
It's not about the life of the elite uber rich who seem to own and run every key orgamisation, including government.
It's also not about the 1% with average annual household incomes of P1.8m, nor is it even those 9% with average annual household incomes of P600k

Rather it's about that 90% of population with average annual income somewhere between P60k - P200k

We have a nephew working at SM. His monthly income is P7500. His wife also works at SM for P6500 per month.
From what we've been told, as with most SM sales assistants, they are both on temporary 6 month contracts. They are not considered as permanent and considered expendable. No job security. No benefits.
For all sorts of reasons the guy's work record is not perfect. I know that he is already on his 3rd assignment since I arrived here. Each time he needs to meet a cost of application/paperwork and also pay something for his uniform.
His wife has a better work record and has managed to renew her 6 month contract for the past 2 years.

They rent a double room in a shared house at P8000 per month. Shared CR and bathroom with other renters. Yes, I know it's possible to rent a house for slightly less but they just can't afford it. They can't put together the needed 1 month advance rent and 2 month security deposit(even though 1 month is consumable) as they have no job security. Also their water and electricity is included in their current rent whereas a house rental means setting up monthly payable accounts for utilities. Daily transportation from their current downtown address is manageable at around P30 each per day.
They will both soon be reaching the 25 years old milestone and could well face a difficult time in an employment market still targeted at "age between 18-25 with pleasing personality". They'll face some stiff competition from younger better qualified job seekers.

Out of their combined income of P14k they have fixed costs of rent at P8000 and transportation costs at P1550
leaving P4450 for food, housekeeping/toiletries/laundry and clothing etc
About P85 each per day.

Here in Davao we pay around P45 per kilo for rice.
Our nephew and his wife eat fish and rice pretty much everyday. Just eating is a major chunk of their budget.

They don't have what most of us call 'disposable income' to spend on whatever they want and they don't have much free time either. Which I suppose is a blessing in a way.

It's hard for me to imagine a life like that and still find a smile. For them every single day is struggle to get by.

It's not surprising then that there are so many OFW's who struggle and sacrifice so much every day in the hope of improving their lives and mmeting the demands of those family members who rely far too much on the blood, sweat, tears and remittances.

This is very interesting. Although I believe there is nothing intrinsically wrong with 'living in the present' since it makes a person much happier than dwelling on the past and future that are both abstract, that attitude clearly doesn't trsnslate well to good planning or good financial decisions. It interests me though this so many people have noticed a similar pattern of OFW workers sending remittances back to people who are not working and some of whom could be construed as taking advantage.

I remember reading somewhere that a large percentage of the workforce - I think its almost ten percent - is employed abroad. I believe that about 10% of GNP comes from remittances. The Phils is the second biggest recipient of remittances in Asia. If that means that if another large percentage of the workforce are sitting around waiting for remittances, then only a fraction of the workforce are actually employed and doing useful work. That would probably explain why the nation is in the state that it's in.
For this whole cycle to continue though, there must be something in the culture that makes it socially acceptable for people to behave that way, right? So is this the attachment to family that's made it that way?

I also wanted to say that I didn't start this thread to bash filipino people or the Philippines. I actually like the place and I find the people very sunny, warm, welcoming and hospitable. I'm sure no one would disagree with that. I suppose this whole 'oliver' question is just one of the disadvantages when viewed from a western perspective. But clearly there are advantages too because otherwise western people wouldn't live there

And finally, I do wonder, whether in the long run, there's anything wrong with it. After all, if we take a thousand people in the philippines and measure their happiness over a lifetime, and somehow measure the amount of 'joy', and then we do the same for a similar number of people in the UK - I wonder whether as a whole, there would be much difference? And if the purpose of life is to be happy, then really, in the final analysis a life spent in the Philippines is probably as well spent as any other

We used to see the same pattern - taken to extremes - in PNG.

Our crew members would return home on leave dressed up to the nines and sporting a Seiko Five (the seaman's universal watch!) and with a fat balance in their account and return at the end of their leave literally in rags and with a couple of broken flip flops if they were lucky. They were, without fail, stripped of everything including their clothes by their "wontoks" (Melanesian Pidgin - "One Talk" - relatives).

The P&I Club correspondents in Manila, whom I know well, now go in for "structured settlements" where a seaman has been killed to ensure that the widow cannot get her hands on all the money at once, so as to make sure that her "relatives" do not clean her out.