What they dont tell you OFW`s!

Saw and read this elsewhere...Very good subject and hardly discussed from a Filipino OFW or Filipino Spouse`s perspective.
Sorry no direct source link..
..............................................................................................................................................................................


We are told about the wonderful things that happen when we make it out of our own country, but never once told how much it will hurt to lose our home



They don't tell you when you leave the homeland what you'll actually miss. You're told what you'll supposedly gain – a better life, more freedom, and the ability to buy nice things. Wide open spaces, the reliability of service, the openness of city streets.

Cleaner bathrooms, the abundance of toilet paper, and reliable flushing. Unlimited ketchup and mustard on your burgers, plus all the fixings. Warehouse club-sized groceries and glutton-portioned meals. A good job, a nice house, and a car in the quiet suburbs.

Nobody tells you that you'll miss the noises of home – the blaring of jeepney horns, the takatak of the cigarette vendors selling Winstons by the stick. They don't tell you that you'll look for the barker yelling out everyday destinations like an international roll call: Bambang, Arranque, Ongpin, Blumentritt. That the language you speak will sound so beautiful once you've stopped speaking it. That you'll seek it out in a crowded train and in your happiness you'll want to give your fellow Filipino your seat.

You're not told that "cold" isn't just Baguio cold, but an impossible, inescapable freeze. That there is no manual on how to dress for winter except for seasons of trial and error, learning fabrics like wool, down, cashmere and fleece. That the first time your toes go numb inside your shoes will be the last time you'll take the correct footwear for granted. You're not taught to check the weather in the morning before leaving for the day, but you learn it the first time the temperature drops and you didn't bring a jacket.

You're told about the snow, but not what a magical act of physics it really is. You're told it is beautiful, but not that you have to shovel a truckload of it to get out of your house. Nobody warns you about slipping on ice or getting slush in your shoes. Or how in the deadest and darkest moment of winter, beneath your hats and scarves and layers, you'll miss the hot breeze of the tropics.

No warning




You're not warned that there is no tsokolate (chocolate), taho, or caramelized plantains bobbing in oil on the street. That you'll have to eat green apples instead of green mangoes and never find a breakfast sausage that is both garlicky and sweet. You're caught by surprise when a gourmet restaurant makes a big deal of their pork belly dish – something unimpressive when you've been eating crispy pata (pork hock) since you were a little kid.

Nobody warns you that you'll make enemies frying your tuyo (dried fish) or for heating your lunch of rice and fish. That your everyday meal is considered exotic, and sometimes even gross, next to the blandness of a turkey sandwich.

You won't be briefed that your decent English will not be understood, and that you'll stare at a native speaker trying to decipher the combination of words you know but somehow can't make out from the speed of their speech. You'll stop talking entirely at one point, afraid of blurting out something that comes so naturally like, "Anak ng tokwa!" because it will make no sense no matter how you translate it.

You're told about the wonders of earning a decent wage in a stronger currency. You're not told that your education, experiences, and skills will be diluted, downplayed, and often ignored in a foreign land that doesn't recognize them. The watering down or disregard of your culture will conveniently be called assimilation. "Welcome to America/UK/Italy/Dubai/Singapore/UAE!" you'll be told when you learn something about your new country.

You'll be both happy and sad to fit in, because you'd have lost that edge you came with that made you stand out, so this means you've lost what you carried with you that would make you fit right back in when you finally return to the Philippines.

Homesickness

Nobody warns you about how long it takes in between visits – that you'll be torn between spending money on flights, paying rent, or buying your family more gifts. Where you drool from friends' photos of lanzones, mangosteen, rambutan, and atis. That you would trade your tray of blackberries and raspberries for a ripe mango picked from your neighbor's backyard.

You'll want to wake up to the stench of fried danggit, longganisa, the acid of spiced vinegar for dipping, and garlic rice that anywhere else would be too early to eat in the morning. You'll stare at your box of cereal and flavorless milk and at that moment you'll wonder if being away is all worth it.

In all your desire to leave the Philippines – the dissatisfaction with the way things are done, the struggle to even make it out – nobody tells you that in your weakest and most defeated moments in another land, you'll long to complain in Tagalog about the EDSA traffic. You'll promise not to mind the inefficient government employees if it means their service comes with a smile and an offer to eat. You'll long to leave your house and see familiar faces with similar body types and skin tones, all of whom would understand when you scream, "Ang init (It's hot)!"

The silence of efficiency

In the silence of efficiency, of cleaner air, orderly conduct, and litter-free streets, you'll be saddened by the impossibility of visiting a childhood friend to talk about a shared history. You'll crave the recognition you got back home, when something as simple as a nod would let you know that you belonged. You'll miss being visited by a tito (uncle) or a tita (aunt), or bumping into a cousin in the mall, or share sisig with friends in your favorite drinking place.

Even after you've made a life for yourself in a foreign country, it doesn't matter how many decades you've lived there. You'll always be asked where you're from. Your answer will always elicit a blank stare from those who have no clue about your roots, your heritage, or your culture. You may try your best to assimilate, to blend in, or even deny your country, but the Filipino inside you will always come out of hiding.

With the number of overseas Filipinos growing every year, for the most part our countrymen don't leave our country for anything other than financial need. Millions of us find small successes from our meager skills and are able to provide for our families, to take them where we are, or build a life for them that we never could afford if we stayed.

But nobody talks about the silences, the empty rooms, all the new experiences that we have to face and adapt to on our own. We are told about the wonderful things that happen when we make it out of our own country, but never once told how much it will hurt to lose our home. How we seek our culture, our food, and our people wherever we land, even just for a moment so the homeland doesn't seem so out of reach, so that we forget for a minute that everything we love is so far away. – Rappler.com

Excellent article. Thanks for posting.

The article seems a bit one-sided doesn't it? I find it funny that it doesn't mention missing the dirt, the heat, the unreliable water supply, the sometimes terrible food with lumps of fat and gristle in it, the guy revving his tricekel at 2am and waking up the neighborhood, the people dumping litter in front of your house, the dogs going nuts at 3am, the corruption, the simple government processes that take 6 months, the people going out and trashing the coral reef looking for fish and dumping garbage in the water..

Whilst I appreciate the sentiment and the article paints a beautiful nostaglic picture of a simple life eschewed for the less satisfying and more sterile life of the developed world, I feel that its often possible to don the rose-colored spectacles. Having lived in a number of countries, I always feel that its important to appreciate where you are right at that moment. Everywhere has good points and bad points..

I think you have missed the point of the article.

It is written from the point of view of a Filipino expat, not a British one.

Obviously what you may find distasteful or irritating about Philippines life, a Filipino will not.

I realize that I'm not the target audience. As an aside, frankly I've been surprised by how little of the Philippines my family misses since moving to the UK, and, reading the above article, although nicely written, it does paint a rather rose-tinted and idyllic picture of the 'pearl of the orient'.

It occurs to me that if anyone did actually miss their homeland to that extent, the kindest thing they could do for themselves would be to simply live there. Its a sound Philosophical notion to look neither backward nor forward since both the past and the future are strictly abstract. Too many people spend time paying attention to either the past or future, disregarding where they are at that particular moment in time.. So, although it might make good reading, it's bad living to pay too much attention to it. That was my point.

Well..I`d say that your point is moot as you are probably not a Filipino with feelings of missing home.
It means very little for a foreigner to explain to a Filipino or another foreign national why they are so far better off in in a western society when they so clearly miss the place,culture etc that they so dearly love..
I for one,having experienced and lived within their culture and country for so many years,having escaped the partial destruction of my own,find much empathy for those that have to suffer the loss ,comfort and delicacies of their homeland,culture and creed.
In many ways,I envy them.
However...To each,their own!

No pain no gain IMO

I feel that you misunderstand me. I myself have missed things about my home country when I lived abroad.
I don't have to be a Filipino to remark that it just seemed an overly sentimenal view and spending your life looking back is a waste of time isn't it? I don't see why that's such an offensive point of view to have.

It would be equally pointless for me to paint a nostalgic picture of the England of snow covered steeples, robin red-breast ,cheery carol singers outside cosy country pubs roasting chestnuts over an open fire .. and frankly - it seems that this isn't an image that you would welcome either, since it appears from your comments that you've left the UK in disgust following the 'partial destruction' of your culture as you put it.

Whilst I can therefore understand your desire to rationalize that, and paint your new location as an idyllic land of milk and honey, the truth is that is the Phils has it's fair share of problems, that the above text is a rose colored rather one-sided depiction, and that plenty of people there do stand ready to leave.

When I left the UK ten years ago, I did the same thing. I vowed never to return. However, times change, and frankly, having gone back, I now appreciate the place far more than I ever did before. I don't agree that British culture has been destroyed either. There are still plenty of things and more than a thousand years of history to be proud of.

I also don't agree with the author's complaint that qualifications are not accepted abroad. To me, that's just a case of caveat emptor. If anyone chooses to leave their home country and finds that their education is not recognized abroad (primary, in the case of the Phils - because the education system is frankly dire) then that's just the price you have to pay. If its not worth paying and the person doesn't like it, then the road back to Nino Aquino is broad, sweet and available. I presume that most people moving abroad do so in search of a better life. If they haven't found it, then they presumably will return home. So, I really don't view this article as anything other than a sentimental self-indulgence by the (presumably filipo) author. Perhaps it didn't stir my emotions because I'm not a filipino.

Please disregard my comments on my home country,as I regard them as highly personal except to say,I will never return to that place as a permanent resident for one reason or another for the rest of my life..

The article is about a Filipino`s experience abroad and what make`s them homesick.. What they miss.
My Mrs was pretty damned content in the U.K for over 20 years....Or so she always said..
Since she has been back here though,she is truly happy and thats what makes the difference.
Make of that, what you will!!

Yeah, well coming back to your birthplace is always very nice. I'm sure there are some things my wife secretly misses. At the moment, she's eating her way through the entire range of Mr Kipling cakes. She seems to have taken a fancy to them so perhaps that's what keeping the homesickness at bay.

Oh yeah!! My Mrs always liked Mr kiplings too..
She says that she likes my home made cakes here too..She says they are exceedingly as good!! Lol.
(not to mention my famous chicken & mushroom pies)

laugh. Isn't that strange? I wonder whether they are particularly exceedingly good for Filipina?
I never met a shorter or more devoted Mr Kipling fan than my wife.. I get home from work to find an empty carton of french fancies and a guilty look on her face.

Cook her a plate of sweet spaghetti with a scoop of ice cream on top and a slice of Chocolate cake on the side..(same plate)
Then you will know what love really is!..

I'm going to be an OFW soon, Boots. So just wait a little, and I'll tell you what I think about all of these. Hahahahhaha...

We all know you'll be okay as a OFW Knight, you're a "wherever I lay my hat" kind of chap

A good read and thanks for sharing

I thought the original post was nicely written and shared the emotions of many who miss their homeland.
OFW's have my deepest respect. It's not the easy life imagined especially when spending much of the time on your own.

Life as an OFW is actually very different from the life of a Filipina spouse.

I've also lived and worked in many diferent countries and cultures. It's always interesting to discover those things you miss from home. Doesn't matter good things or not so good things, they all come to mind as those memories you couldn't imagine might play on your mind from time to time.

It's about how such memories can grow in importance when they're missed.

When I returned to the UK after so many years as a non-resident I found all those lovingly harboured emotions and memories from times past couldn't be found to be re-lived with joy.
I saw only the negatives of life in UK and found it hard to settle. I remembering feeling homesick for my life in Asia and especially for my life in Japan. So many things I missed everyday living in Japan.

Now I here in the Philippines I can miss some things from UK again

It's often human nature to mistakenly feel that the grass is always greener elsewhere. Personally I think it's dangerous to fall into that trap since otherwise you run the risk of perpetual discontent, rather like eschewing today's lunch because you preferred the lunch you had yesterday. I'm a big believer in the maxim "life is what happens to you whilst you're waiting for something else to happen". England has plenty of negatives, but we are in an imperfect world. So does everywhere. I'm reasonably satisfied that nirvana does not exist on this earth and hence that it's wise to gather whatever joy you may from wherever you are.

Yes, there are positives and negatives wherever you live.
I very much agree that we owe it to ourselves to find and make our own happiness and joy wherever and whenever we can.
Life in Japan for me had so many more positives than negatives. Still I managed to get a little homesick from time to time and miss some parts of UK life and culture. I think that's normal.
Certainly Japan doesn't suit everyone.

Philippines doesn't suit everyone. For me so far there are more positives than negatives. But make no mistake I have found many negatives.

I feel the emotion of the writing in the original post. To me it shows that the grass is not always greener elsewhere.
I've experienced life in places that were not 'greener' by any stretch of the imagination. But that was part of the excitment of a job I loved and got very well paid for. On the positive side I invariably found some wonderful people and lifelong friends. Still found I always yearned for some those intangible strands of life in my homeland. I still do even now.
Probably just romantic notions through those rose coloured specs.

If I'm honest, I probably didn't try hard enough to re-settle in the UK
I only returned there to take care of my elderly parents who sadly were not doing well under the NHS.
Maybe I subconsciously harboured negative thoughts at having to give up a good life to return to a UK where my experiences of the NHS and Social Services where far from expectation.
Sadly both my parents died whilst in hospital under the now discredited Liverpool Care Pathway
Latest reports indicate that things may have gotten worse. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/hea...elines-worse-than-Liverpool-Care-Pathway.html)

How I miss the UK weather in May and June. The cooling breeze under blue skies.
How I miss the baked beans, pickled onions and a darn good curry. Not to mention a great steak and some wonderful wines.
Oh and jacket spuds with coleslaw, pork pies, yorkshire pudding and rib of beef and good gravy.
I miss the disciplined behaviour.

I also still miss Cherry Blossom BBQ's and sake in the park. Living in a virtually crime free environment and a true 24 hour availability of just about anything.
I miss a 'customer is always king' service 24/7

These are the strands of our lives bound together with the glues of life.
Doesn't mean we're unhappy or seeking nirvana. For me it's just a reminder.

Is that really a common combination? I was surprised last night during dinner, when we had 'toad in the hole' and mashed potato and gravy, to see my Filipino family put sugar on the mashed potato - so I'm ready to believe that such a combination is indeed possible...