I would also feel uncomfortable if I found out my husband is chatting with someone else. Long distance relationship is indeed very difficult. You have to have the key elements such as trust, communication and a stretch of your patience a little bit longer if you want it to work.
Mmmm I can smell something funny ..I hope that it will be sort out soon and that you guys will remind each other the excitement of being inlove To each other. I believe open mind communication can sort things out .God bless
very well put @ ChoiAndJohn---you beat me to it. couples really have to be totally realistic about the sponsorship requirements before committing to marriage. to many young people in the UK--that £18,600 is a dream to aspire to. and --of course--to retired people--like me--on state pension.
I agree with everyone here. I would find it odd and uncomfortable also. Just a thought -- Try to see what happens when you don't text, call him for a day. See if he reaches out first to communicate and check up on you..
at the end of the day--you either trust each other--or you dont. you each have to work out what you have got --to lose. my fiancee had a hard time trusting me--she knows i have female friends--she met them several times----and was convinced one of them was in love with me. she wasnt--only with herself. she now has a regular boyfriend--and i told mine this--which seemed to calm her down. on the other hand--my fiancee has 100's of facebook friends--many of them men she's known for years. she deletes those that try to hit on her. but--i trust her completely--why--because of what she's got--to lose. see my point ?
I see your point @bigmac but being open about having female friends is different to spending time online chatting to them and seemingly lying about it, isn't it? Also, if you think the male has less to lose that the female in this post then I don't think it excuses him abusing his position via a power play. I believe that her views have equal weight in the relationship and if she's not happy with what he's doing then they should reach a compromise. I think him lying about it and then blustering about "me time" is a foil for a guilty conscience.
I know this discussion is a bit one-side at the moment and probably that says something about a committed relationship. Based on your above posting he's putting his efforts and his time into his chatting. Those are the resources that he's stealing directly from the relationship between the two of you married folks.
Thinking about it, what I think you should do is to broach the subject in a productive way rather than have a confrontation. Why don't you make a suggestion that "you would love to spend more time together" and say you feel a bit lonely and miss him and hence why don't you get up early and get more face time. If your other half is unwilling to forgo his chatting and instead prefers to spend time with others, then at least you'll know. And if he does go along with the suggestion then his lack of time to talk to his chat mate may well knock whatever it is on the head. Just get yourself to bed early and get up at 2am for a bit. Might be worth a shot. You can also canvass his willingness to get up early and put the effort in.
i tried and he didnt mind,after 2 days i was still the first to message,he said he messaged last so since i didnt reply,he just waited for 2 days and didnt even thought i sulk
hi thank you for ur response im up really early in the morning phil time everyday like 1am my time once he gets in fr work i tried that already,being sweet and stuffs,wanting to have more time together,missing him etc but he still can only talk 1hr then wants to chill and chat again after an hour or 2 for 30mins and off to bed thats d routine,he cant do more than hour talk without long breaks hehehe
hi thank you for ur response indeed a one-sided one i was asking him politely cant it be 2 ways and consider my feelings and how he treats me but he keeps on about i put it to myself so there!
Sorry to hear of you plight 2die4, it must be a difficult time for you. Lets make one thing clear, western men are no more liberated than Philippine men, a true British chap would never consider for one moment chatting online with another lady unless it was business or family related, he is doing you an injustice for sure and no good can come from this at all, in all likeliness it will end in tears as I think you already know. From what you say you seem to be in the first stages of separation, on the slippery slope so to speak, if you are to save your marriage then you need to move to the UK to be with him, unless you do this I can see no future for you, you've already been apart for a long time. My opinion only
thank you timmers for ur response indeed painfull to think of separation but still hoping nice to hear insights from British ways for me to better understand stuffs
I think it is good for you to hear other peoples opinions, remember they are our own opinions but we are always honest in our replies and tell it the way we see it on the information we are given. If I found my wife chatting to other men on the internet she would be on the next plane back to the Philippines, I feel it is only second to committing adultery, the intent to take things further is always there with an online relationship, that's always a worry. You come across as a lovely girl and I hope you can resolve your differences but in my opinion the only way for you to do this is to be re-united with your husband in the UK, the longer you are apart the less chance you have of a happy ending.
