So I met her online

So I met Aya on Omegle a few months ago. I don't know why I went on Omegle, it was late at night and I was probably lonely. After flicking through several videos of people staring/masterbating on camera I met her. Straight away I felt somehow connected to her, like we could have a good conversation. We spoke for awhile and I asked to add her on Facebook to continue the conversation.



We spoke for a long time and over the coming days I began to fall in love with her. Something about her essence and innocence radiates out, I felt like I'd been looking for her my whole life, but not intentionally. Every time she posted a photo on her facebook timeline I was physically sore from being lovestruck by her beauty. You know how it is.



She lives in Davao, is 23 years old and works in a call centre while finishing her studies to become a teacher. Her standard of living seems relatively high for a povery struck country - she goes to cinema with friends, goes to the mall occasionally, has a couple of laptops in their home. I looked over her life on facebook, it appears all genuine - growing up with many friends in a happy community. She seems very naive to the troubles of the world, in fact she didn't believe women masterbate. She's very sheltered, her parents didn't like her to go out the house much, she's never taken any drugs and leads quite a simple lifestyle it would seem.



The love to me feels very real, probably the most intense love I've ever experienced even though it's not been physical. We can stare at one in another, both smitten, for hours on webcam - sometimes not even speaking. I'm a hopeless romantic if you haven't gathered and wrote poems about this girl and the love I feel.



So eveything's been going well. It was her birthday a few months ago, I got her some flowers and although she didn't ask me to, I sent over some money for her to get a dress so I could see her in it when I visit - **** me she looks good in it. Her mum asked her 'did you ask for money? Never ask for money'. She never has.



Last week, I go out for dinner with friends and then a couple of them tell me some horror stories of people who have been duped by lovely Filipinas. I sort of dismissed it and said 'you can tell when it's genuine' but their cynicism hit a nerve with me and I started to wonder if it's possibile. After all, I pursued her, I fell in love with her although she told me to take it slowly. I then read some stories online and **** me, they are crushing. Some people who have been played a fool by shallow games that would only destroy me - I'm too sensitive. Now I'm a paranoid mess. I have analysed everything back to the start and I don't know anymore - am I living in a fairytale, is it too good to be true?



I told her this and she's been upset. She said she cried and went out with her friends the other night to talk about it. They were angry at the sweeping generlisations. I believed, and I still want to, that she's different - that this is real.



The truth is, I don't have much money anyway, I earn minimum wage and need to save for my flight to visit her. I'm just worried now that it's all a game. My trust has been shattered by others opinions and these stories - maybe better that I don't live in a bubble, but what if she is innocent and I've tarred her with the same brush? I can't bare to be heartbroken, I don't care about losing money so much as believing in a love that might not exist. If she doesn't love me, then she's very convinving, I see nothing but love in her eyes and smile when she see's me and her words are always kind. Everything on her Facebook appears to display kind, honest friends and a good upbringing, a kind loving person. She's told me it's my decision and she will accept whatever outcome and wait a thousand years for me. The only thing I've found strange on her Facebook is that some unknown person to me posted a Japanese porn video on her timeline about a month ago - she said she hardly knew him and deleted it when I told her about it (she was at work when it was posted).



Any advice would be appreciated. I'm so tired the last few days. I cried last night. Yep, I'm a pussy. But I cried because all the deception and corruption I've been naive to crushed me. Either I get ****ed over if she's playing a game - all though all the lack of trust hasn't come from her actions - or we both get ****ed over if it's genuine and I call it quits. I didn't believe in soul mates or true love until I met her.



Thanks for taking the time to read my story.

You will need a minimum income of £18,600 per annum to bring her to the UK!

She has no available space in her diary to meet you till 3015?

Sounds slightly dubious, I would stay away if I were you.

Thanks for your practical response. However, it's not what's on my mind. Today I've cried a lot, sobbed like a child over the deception and corruption embedded deep into our psyche and societies. I couldn't believe some of the stories I've read of people being ****ed over by Filipinas who they invested a lot of time in. I'm not thinking as far ahead as bringing her back to the UK, I want to know if people think I can trust her based on our experience so far or whether it's liable to wreak havoc on my emotions.

haha, obviously a metaphor for timelessness. She will wait for me she says

you use that four letter word quite a bit------love.

i fail to see how you can be in love with someone youve never met. maybe its just me.

If you talk to her for long enough you will be able to work out the truth. But try not to let paranoia kill what might turn out to be a good thing.

Watch and see if she asks you for money.

The top and bottom of it is, you will never know if she is genuine until you have been to the Philippines to meet her, until then you will just be tearing yourself apart with doubt.

Thank you for responding and welcoming me.

I've only known her for three months. We have spoke everyday since meeting, through skype and facebook.

I understand that some people wouldn't get how I can claim to be in love having not met her. However, I've had many relationships here and never felt such a powerful feeling as I have for her which is what I'm calling love. I'm not sure it's infatuation, it feels very real even if we've not physically spend time together. I'm not entirely practical though, I've always been sensitive and romantic to my own detriment I suppose.

She's never asked for money, but then...I've read many girls don't for a while. Her mum actually scorned her when I sent money for a dress, asking 'did you ask for it? Never ask for it'. I sent it because I wanted to make her life better and I wanted her to get something nice for her birthday.

I didn't have any doubts until I read other stories and got warned from friends candidly of the brutality some people have experienced emotionally from falling into a trap. Since then I've cried, not even just for my personal situation, but just the amount of deception and corruption so ingrained into the psyche. It really hurts me knowing that people can do this to one and another. I wish I understood it.

Assuming things go as hoped, when are you likely to visit her? I know some people find it difficult to deal with the distance in a relationship, others find it it a definite part of the romance and this can heighten the feelings felt for someone who is, at present, unattainable.

Of course your friends have thrown some doubt in your direction which isn't a bad thing but ultimately it will be you who will "feel" whether it is going well or not. Just relax and enjoy the ride for now. You sound an emotional type of guy and you portray your feelings well in written form but could you possibly drop the expletives as some may find it offensive.

Falling in love over the internet with someone you haven't met... Filipinas have that affect

Keep us posted and Good Luck!

The same thing can happen with a British woman who lives in the same town.

Yeah. Quit the effin and jeffin.

Very true. People are indeed the same the world over. By that, I mean there are some good and some not so good. I'm not a betting man but I have this feeling that I'd stand a better chance in a relationship with a Filipna opposed to a British women, but then again I would say that wouldn't I

Thanks again for your responses. It means a lot to have you guys communicate with me. I haven't been able to talk verbally to anyone about this yet and others input has helped put more perspective on things.

I apologise for the language, I'm from Glasgow and it's part of our everyday vocabulary, I never meant to offend anyone.

I understand it can happen the world over, it was when reading this travel guide:
http://www.philippines-travel-guide.com/filipino-liars.html that I began to adopt the belief that it might be more prevalent in the Philippines. There are a lot of negative posts on that link and generalisations. It lead me to search on other websites for similar stories until I frightened myself the current state I'm in.

Yes. And for every Filipina scammer there are many honest Filipinas. You may have picked one of the many good natured Filipinas so stick with it but keep an open mind.

I know there must be. I just got so immersed in these stories. Did you read some of them? It seems a lot of people have been lied to by those Filipinos. It's easy to see, without looking too far, that it's dangerous to invest your heart into something so thoroughly

I have read similar. But I know that those stories, while probably true, do not apply to all Filipinas, just a percentage.

For anyone who wants to know what we both look like...

This is a picture of me, with a rug on my head:

And this is a picture of Aya, wearing the new dress she bought with the money I sent her for her birthday:

Kenny the great (or bad) thing with the internet is that there is absolutely nothing that you cannot search for. Search hard enough and you will find it, guaranteed. I could list sites here on scamming Thais, scamming Jamaicans, scamming Britains and lo-and-behold scamming Nigerians (never.... yes, honestly ).

Interestingly I had just done a quick search and found a site which is worse than the one you pointed out, it's so farcical that it's laughable, literally.

She might be the nicest girl that you never meet.

Just to reiterate, as long as you are true to yourself then there is nothing more you can do. Keep an open mind, don't be overly cautious unless you really feel you have reason and see how you get on. You have been chatting daily for months, it's a good start and if anything surfaces I'm sure instinctively you will know it in your heart. The most important part I think you'll find is, If you feel it isn't working then you need to be strong enough to pull back.