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Am I Crazy?

Discussion in 'Personal Discussions' started by Davidshush, Mar 21, 2016.

  1. BlueberryCheeseCake
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    BlueberryCheeseCake Member Trusted Member

    Oh come on David , you know inside of you that the relationship you're talking about is just a fantasy .Find yourself a real woman. Good luck and God bless you David. Cheer up okie ? It's another beautiful sunny day today
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Davidshush
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    Davidshush New Member

    She is still messaging me as normal, if not more frequently than before. I have blocked her and basically told her to stop.

    I'm waiting for my passport application so probably won't make it for May but thanks for the offer. If a trip can be had for around £1500 then that's much easier for me to get hold of and I could go pretty much any time I wanted. I thought air conditioned rooms, private cr, taxi fares, etc. would up the bill a little. I did search for some flights last week, the only direct flight I found was £700+. With the world the way it is I don't fancy stopping off in the middle east.

    As a bit of an introvert I have no real desire to travel anywhere for the sake of seeing the place itself. I've had distance relationships before but nothing over 100 miles. They generally ended because old flames moved back on the scene. Months after I usually get the "Hey, I miss you, can we meet?" email and take it as a sign the ex fled the scene again. I usually ignore these...just can't seem to do the same with this current girl.
  3. graham59
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    graham59 Well-Known Member

    Oh well, I think the wind-up has gone on long enough for me. See ya. :like:
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Davidshush
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    Davidshush New Member

    Thanks for all your help. Really appreciated.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. firew0myn
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    firew0myn Active Member

    Good luck @Davidshush!
  6. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    You can't blame the lady you have mentioned because you have fallen down on what you should have done. She is a free agent.
    Buy yourself a ticket to the Philippines and have a look around.
    If you see her apologise for not realising you should have gone over more than four years ago.

    Don't put all your eggs in one basket and look around for a kind, pretty lady then when you do make plans to visit her again and between six months to a year.
    Some places you will go to will be full of beautiful girls/women and you will think you have gone to higher place :lol::like:
    If you are lucky enough to find a lovely lady, come home and save as much as you can because it will be expensive to bring her to the UK but she will be worth it.
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
  7. Davidshush
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    Davidshush New Member

    I don't buy that I should have gone sooner. She never indicated she even wanted me to visit her sooner. And at the time she was meeting other guys too so I don't see how I could have changed that. I waited precisely because I didn't want to step on the toes of anyone else. If this had come out before about a month ago there would be no problem, I wasn't as emotionally invested then. She said she was single but meeting those guys, yet never mentioned that she had a boyfriend already. I assumed she was finished meeting other people so that it was finally my time.

    Anyway, it turns out John is married to another lady in the Philippines. That is why the divorce is taking so long. So yeah, I think this thread is pretty much done. Pipe bomb exploded.

    Thanks to everyone that read of my foolishness and those who offered help and advice(even the more direct ones). It all really helped and it means a lot to me. I hope some day I will be in a position to return the favour...although I hope you don't end up in mine!
  8. CampelloChris
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    CampelloChris Well-Known Member

    If my wife doesn't get her Maltese visa, I might be in need of a free flight! (Not so needy about the dinner dates though) :lol:

    It is business class I presume? ;)
    • Like Like x 2
  9. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    If you had visited her you would have seen her face-to-face. I really don't get it, David o_O
  10. oss
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    oss Not Here Staff Member

    It is very very hard to conceive a situation where you suddenly become emotionally highly invested with someone who, effectively, lives inside a computer, and for that to happen after almost 5 years of some kind of ongoing relationship.

    You asked a question in the title of this thread, I am afraid the answer is yes.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. CampelloChris
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    CampelloChris Well-Known Member

    I reckon you've had a lucky escape David. She doesn't seem like the sort of woman who would make anyone happy.

    I think the answer to the question referred to by OSS (above) would definitely be a resounding 'yes' if you carried on with this Sisyphean task much longer.
  12. Dave_E
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    Dave_E Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    [​IMG]

    :eek:

    (Just Kidding :D)
    • Funny Funny x 4
  13. Davidshush
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    Davidshush New Member

    Should have added foolish to that question. In any case, I agree. I can't explain it but I loved her. She said she loved me and wanted to be with me the rest of her life. Now she has chosen someone else. I know it was my fault for leaving it so long...just didn't think she'd really be into me so kept pushing it to the back of my mind. It's not like she was focussed on me at that time either. It really is just the last month that's done it.

    Would it have stopped her getting this other British boyfriend? Maybe. But if I'd had known she had another guy she was calling her bf for all this time then the last month would never have happened. I'd still be keeping my distance from her and focussing on other things in my life...which now feels impossible as I can't seem to think of any thing or anyone else but her. And with that thought now comes the reality of something not being good enough about me, that some other guy that came after me gets someone I'm crazy and foolish for.
  14. CapasPaul
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    CapasPaul New Member

    Sorry, lads! No cigar. You need to come up with a decent sob story first. The caribou has keeled over in the province or Tito Marlon has knocked up the Barangay Captain's niece which necessitates an urgent visit. Be creative so you can tug at my heart strings!

    Ah well. The offer is there and it's a genuine offer. The current itinerary (subject to change) is out in business class with Cathay Pacific and back with BA via Singapore which will probably be business class as well. There is room for one more.

    I really do hope you follow through with plans to visit the country. For a guy like you (or how I imagine you to be from your posts), the Philippines could be a really liberating experience. Please don't continually find excuses not to visit such as passport application, turmoil in the Middle East, 5* accommodation too expensive etc. If you do, I fear that in 10 years time you will be in exactly the same situation.
  15. CapasPaul
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    CapasPaul New Member

    Regardless of whether she's a naughty girl or not, you cannot expect her to remain faithful to you when, in 5 years, you have never met the girl in real life.

    She's played you and no doubt played countless others. If 1/10 of her chatmates provide her with money, it's all good. Don't take it too personally.
  16. Davidshush
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    Davidshush New Member

    I never expected her to be "faithful" though. I'm not a complete idiot(parts of me are missing). The only time I expected her to be faithful was for this 1 month just gone. That's it. No lies, no bullcrap, just honesty so we could make some kind of plan. Cards on the table kind of time. Like being friends with a girl for a while, watching her go for a couple of other guys, then realising you love her and trying to be with her yourself.

    Realistically I probably will be hung up on this for a while. I don't think she is as bad as I may have made her out to be. But then again I'm baffled as to why she never told me this...she never once asked for money. I did offer to help her a couple times but she refused. And she did sound incredibly tearful on the phone...maybe I need to get sucker tatooed on my forehead.
  17. CampelloChris
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    CampelloChris Well-Known Member

    If their premises have 'Tatoo' written on the window, walk on by.
  18. ChoiAndJohn
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    ChoiAndJohn Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    Are you an American or spent a lot of time in the USA David? Something about your choice of words.. As for the matter, I feel that a chat with a therapist would help you.
    • Agree Agree x 2
  19. Erica
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    Erica Member

    @Davidshush Hi... we're the same, I am also in a deep pain my husband is getting a divorce in our short lived marriage.
    I'm having hard time to sleep, mostly I'll be up at 3 am and won't be able to get any sleep, I had to turn on the lights and TV in my room while night so I won't feel alone. Sometimes I'm going to run in our living room crying and calling my mom. Sometimes it feels like I'm dreaming I'd like to wake up but the reality is slapped on my face he canceled my visa and he will file for a divorce. I feel guilty, I regret, I feel sad, I feel heavy, I feel empty..I feel them all, but I have to be strong and keep myself sane...now I'm forcing myself to heal and accept the things that happened..Try,..just try..........try to forget her, accept that she's not for you, be strong....carry your broken heart with you while you experience adventures here in Phil, just enjoy your time, get lost and you'll find yourself.
    If you need a friend to talk to just write your message..
    They say broken hearted people understand each other better.
  20. Maharg
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    Maharg Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    Faithful to whom. She's not your girlfriend. You've never met her.
    • Agree Agree x 2

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