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Am I Crazy?

Discussion in 'Personal Discussions' started by Davidshush, Mar 21, 2016.

  1. graham59
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    graham59 Well-Known Member

    The advice CampelloChris has given can be applied to ANYONE in the early stages of a long distance relationship. Well penned sir. :like:
  2. Erica
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    Erica Member

    Hi Chris, I checked the link, thank you. ..

    My main problem is the money, my husband doesn't want to pay for the recognition of foreign divorce here in philippines. It's too expensive for me 250,000 where on earth will I get that sum of money, my whole family are getting worried and depressed as well with the situation.
  3. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member


    thats ridiculous-----my partners annulment cost 150,000.pp.
  4. CampelloChris
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    CampelloChris Well-Known Member

    I would imagine that your first step would be to contact a lawyer who will insist on being made aware of any divorce petition. His instruction from you is to contest any divorce on the grounds that before divorce is granted, your husband provides a guarantee to pay to 'restore' you to your previous civil status, that being single and free to marry.
    • Agree Agree x 2
  5. Erica
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    Erica Member

    @CampelloChris oh my God!! You just opened my eyes!!! Tha k uou very much to you and this forum!! To the admin you a great job creating this page and tie very one putting their advices on thank you!! YOU JUST DON'T KNOW THAT IN EVERY WORDS YOU SAY YOU ARE SAVING A LIFE! :)

    you are right! I should get my own lawyer first and make settlement to make sure that I'll get what is right, I'm not asking for money or property I'm just asking for him to pay for the foreign divorce here in Phil, km going to assert for my right, this is for my family who loves me and to everyone to all filipina Nad woman.

    Should I consult a Filipino lawyer?

    We talked and said that we will get a divorce on December, the marriage should stay at least 1 year to get a proper Divorce onice again thank you everyone who cares.
    • Winner Winner x 1
  6. ChoiAndJohn
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    ChoiAndJohn Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    I agree with the above you will need a UK attorney to represent you. There is the presumption in law that the spouse with more money will pay legal fees for both parties. You should not agree to anything in writing with your husband. Your demands should be that: 1. He pays your legal costs. 2. He pays for your costs to restore your civil status to single.
  7. aposhark
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    aposhark Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    Great that you have talked, Erica.
    I hope your husband will help you financially to break free.
  8. iHeartJa
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    iHeartJa Member


    Hi, Erica. I believe you may seek free legal counselling and assistance from Public Attorney's Office, located at local Municipality.
    • Like Like x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  9. Maharg
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    Maharg Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    Don't agree with that. Why should the man have to pay everything? It's a 2 way thing.

    I certainly never paid my ex-wife's legal fees. Paid enough as it is.
  10. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    my last wife and i agreed to divorce in 2013. she had left 2 years before and was seeing someone else. she asked me to divorce her. i did it myself--no solicitors involved. it was easy--i used 2 years separation with consent. the court fee was £450---but in my case it was waived because my only income is state pension. savings are not taken into consideration--only interest earned--which is negligible.
  11. CampelloChris
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    CampelloChris Well-Known Member

    I think it's more a case of necessity over choice. I'm not putting words into Erica's mouth, but I imagine that 250,000 or even 150,000 is beyond her capability.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. ChoiAndJohn
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    ChoiAndJohn Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    I don't agree with it either, having been on the receiving end of it, but opinion doesn't come into it.

    Whilst the usual scenario may well be that each spouse meets their own legal costs. it is possible to seek a financial contribution from the other partner with respect to legal fees. The court may order a legal services order to ensure that she can obtain appropriate legal services during proceedings. Given the disparity in income and in location between the parties, this would not be an unreasonable thing for her to seek. The court will be concerned that both parties are placed on an equal footing with equal access to legal advice and one of the things that the court would examine would be the financial resources of each applicant and of the paying party and the financial needs, responsibilities and obligations which the applicant and the paying party has now or is likely to have in the future.

    If I was in @Erica position, I would be seeking the advice of a UK attorney and trying to come to a mediated agreement with her ex-husband - that she may be perfectly willing to settle the case cheaply and without unnecessary litigation but that she would like him to contribute towards her legal costs in the UK and towards the costs of her retaining her Civil status in the Philippines in return for her waiving her claim towards half his assets and minimising litigation. That is the line that I would suggest that she takes.

    At the end of the day, like it or no, the man has married her, and that signature carries with it a lot of agreements and responsibilities. He may want to just 'forget it' and make her pay for it. However, that is not the way that it works and @Erica can make the process extremely expensive for him if she chooses. So I would suggest that she signs nothing and agrees to nothing without adequate legal advice.
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2016
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Maharg
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    Maharg Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    That sounds like good idea. Once he realises she's entitled to half his soul he'll probably do what she says to get a clean break on that.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  14. Erica
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    Erica Member

    Hi @ChoiAndJohn, thank you for your advice, I won't sign and agree to anything at unless there will be legal advices, I'll remember that. How will I get my own lawyer in Uk to arrange for me, I don't have money and I'm living here in philippines, I haven't been to UK. Honestly I don't even have 5,000 pesos, I don't even own a bank account, I'm flat broke and jobless, my husband supports me but now I'm looking for job. He has made his mind, he wants nothing to do to me and I don't want to get back to him. He told me that if I made the litigation or case expensive and I will not agree then it will be expensive for him that he won't afford it therefire he can't afford it, so we won't get divorced and will be stuck to each other, I understand I can make a claim to his assets, as I am a wife and he signed papers legally but I don't want anything, I don't want his money, his assets, I want my freedom, I want to be given a chance to live agian as a single woman and will have a chance to find foe a better man.
    My mom and I are planning to get a free consultation from a lawyer in our municipality but I'm afraid they aren't that knowledgeable and won't care so much.

    I've heard that Recongnition of foreign divorce cost from 180,000-250,000 php I hope it will be cheaper.
    By the way, we will get a divorce on December, cause according to UK law, the marriage should be at least a year before you get a divorce. He wants it as fast as possible. I'm tired of the block mail really and even at thus far he is telling mestuffs like by the time you will be free no one , no foreigner will ever like you because you are old they are looking for young women. If you won't agree to me then the divorce process will be expensive and I can't afford it. I'm suffocating. ....

    How will I get any advice from a lawyer in UK?

    Is there a lawyer here? Please help me out I'm willing to cooperate.please..
  15. HaloHalo
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    HaloHalo Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    I know nothing about divorce but having a quick Google it would suggest a no win no fee divorce lawyer is not possible or legal. What about a Sears tooth lawyer, is that another option... anyone? The difficulty in this case is that Erica is not UK based.
  16. Erica
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    Erica Member

    We also need to wait for a year before we got divorce, so that means we have to wait till December before he will file divorce.
    We looked on Google and found this quick divorce.
    It should have been easy for us, cause I live overseas and I don't want to Calum anything on his assets, I just want him to pay for my recognition of foreign divorce, he keeps on saying jo I won't do that I paid so much for you and the trip there.
    I just want to be free......nothing at all..I just want my freedom back
  17. HaloHalo
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    HaloHalo Well-Known Member Lifetime Member

    In order to get your freedom back you may well have to put him in a position where he is not likely to refuse it though. Obviously you'd be better not to disclose too much information to your husband yet especially if he's still sending money
  18. bigmac
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    bigmac Well-Known Member Trusted Member

    well--youve got to wait a year before you can divorce---so nothing you can do till then-----except keep putting the arm on your husband for maintenance--till he gets fed up with that. you have nothing to lose.
  19. Erica
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    Erica Member

    @bigmac he doesn't want to support me anymore, no more sending money...
    Is emailing my ex such really a hideous crime, I'm flat broke, I'm facing a very serious problem at age of 25 I'm asking for forgiveness, Im not a scammer, I didn't ask more than what I deserve..why am I so hard to forgive? I already surrender myself I'll let it all go...I wnat to pick up the pieces andsave myself
  20. CampelloChris
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    CampelloChris Well-Known Member

    Depends on the content of the email I suppose.

    If it's just an innocent email, your husband has reacted out of all proportion, and you are lucky to be out of such a relationship.
    If the email content was not so innocent, then I guess the roles are reversed.

    If he isn't sending you any money, you are going to need to find a job real quick. Once you are financially stable, you can at least begin to plan your next move. At least you have until December to get everything organised.

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