My wife never asked me for a penny. I offered to send her some money each week. I sent about £100 each week. Then one day she told me she was giving some money to her mom to buy an air conditioner for the house. I was a bit shocked at first as it wasnt as I had intended. But I realised it was simply how things work out there.
Crikey! no wonder you never got asked for money. I bet her nannay managed to get glass chandeliers for the house too.
as for my opinion about sending/asking money thing about foreigner-pinay relationship. if gf is not working and bf is giving her allowance then family will think gf have money that they pressure her to share her blessings to them(family). bcoz gf is kind she'll ended up giving them some and ended up asking more money from bf bcoz she have no penny left as she give it to them already.... or some scenarios is when she would like to buy girly stuff (clothes, bags, shoes, new phone, computer) those kind of things (money management is needed for this i guess). unless she really have to spend the money for a very important thing like emergency, i guess you just needed proof for that. for independent women (like me) i dont think this is applicable.
It wasn't proof needed, but establishing reason why and lessening the moral burden of gf to help as much as possible, whilst determining if being taken advantage of for having a foreign bf. such pressures can have a significant impact on the well being of a gf and be detrimental to establishing a stable relationship. Independence is great, but is difficult, if subjected to family pressures. Where as sharing concerns and troubles can potentially lessen the burden on one. Which thankfully we achieved
gf taken advantage by the family, i think just for my own idea, being pressured for money by the family bcoz of a foreign bf will depends on how gf represents herself to the family (for example if she shows fancy things to them, or she's too generous to them, family and extended family will really thinks gf has lots of money). pressure is when relatives talk behind gf's back when she refuses to help them. this <i think> is just a matter of how she represents herself to them. relatives has always something to say whatever gf with foreigner or rich bf she have and will always depends on what kind of family she have.
Yes. But it wasnt straight away. It was once we were married. I cant remember exactly now but after we became engaged I offered to send her money so that she could treat herself to some nice things. She never asked. It was me that instigated it. The money also covered her for trips into Manila for language tests and the like.
I think it also helped towards new floor coverings and an upgrade to the frontage to the house. New gate and patio area. Stuff like that. What I hadnt realised until that time was that in my wife's family, they all "mucked in" financially. So that the ones that could afford to would help the ones that couldn't. This was / is a fluid situation. In other words, when my wife was able to help, by throwing money into the pot, she did as they all did the same when they could. It came as a surprise to me when I first came across it.
It also depends on the family. Most of my wife's more immediate family have work. And they tend to live a lifestyle in keeping with their means. So whilst they aren't wealthy, they definitely do not starve and I believe this helps their attitutude. Plus I found most of them to be good natured and honest and hard working Filipinos. They support themselves and they support each other. It was refreshing to see.
i definitely agree to this John! depends on the family. they know how hard it is to earn money, so why ask for it from someone who also work hard to get it. she have a great family(i mean your wife)
When I started to support my wife I quickly realised that she wasn't buying material girlie things for herself like I expected. I'd say, have you bought yourself anything nice? Her answer was generally aloof and I didn't push it. I eventually understood that little if any was spent on herself which in all honesty I found difficult to understand. That is the chasm of cultures. I did suggest buying things for herself but that only happened when she was buying more apt clothes just prior to coming to the UK. Supporting ones family is a selfless act which westerners can't always comprehend
just out of interest--the OP mentions 10,ooo pp---which is about £145--isnt it ?. how far would that go in the filis--?---i havent a clue. is it right its about a months wages ?
It is below the minimum wage in the National Capital Region; K's brother works as a security guard (very low status job) and he gets paid 8,900 every fortnight. Dr Elenita Binay the wife of the Vice-President was quoted as telling workers on the 350 hectare hacienda that she and her husband "don't own" that she could not afford to pay them more than 4K a month as business was bad.
£400 a month is often quoted as a reasonable figure for a Brit to send a Filipina gf. I have a friend who sends £600 but his other half is more by way of a wife and they have a three year old daughter. He also supports her two children by her ex husband. She can live comfortably but quietly on that, in a rented 3 bedroom house in Quezon City.
