most of comments are thankfully helpful. Will be there this coming Tuesday so will put all the helpful answers to use. I have never sent her money monthly done that with other girls been scammed many times what i did last time i was with her was go to baclaren and bought loads tshirts and other girls stuff etc and she hired stall in market and sold them . Until it burnt down and i know it did burn down as it was on you tube she told me it had burnt down i checked, now she goes from house to house selling them . The 10000 i sent for her was for ticket to come meet me in Manila and for her to rent some where for two nights before i arrive. That was first i send her since i bought her them clothes in January this year. Will see how it all pans out when i am there next week.
That was a pretty good plan I must say. If my own experience is anything to go by, if you get the family on your side, that is half the battle. If you treat the elders with respect, they will go in to bat for you. Take your time. Good luck.
To clarify - that figure (call it 28,700 pesos in today's money) was based on setting the lady up in a house or flat of her own, furnishing it, and it being somewhere where you would be happy to stay when you visited. It is NOT a figure for a girl whom you have just met (worse - whom you have not met!!) and or who is living with her family or flat sharing. It assumes that she has a child. I do think it is a reasonable figure to keep in mind - it is about what a teacher earns. In the Euro Pinoy draft articles section there is a discussion between oss and I on these numbers, for furnishing, rent, utilities, etc., and we both came out about the same. When K was living in QC and sharing a flat with her brother the rent was 6K and the electricity and water bills were another 4K ; when she went home to Mindanao and chose to live with her parents that 10K vanished, and the food bill also dwindled.
We must remember that the average salary in the Philippines is £1700.00, anyone wanting money should get off their fat arse and work for it just like we do in the real world.
You know what we say here in the UK, "you cut your coat according to your cloth", that's what everyone should do, wherever you live and whatever your financial circumstances.
Yes but you don't want to see how they live. In reality most families only get by once the kids are out bringing in extra money albeit even less than 10000 PHP a month.
I think I stated it correctly, probably regional versions as you say but coat and cloth goes together better than means don't you think?
Exactly. Timmers is suggesting that a family can live on 330 pesos a day. I suggest he goes down to the wet market with 330 pesos in his pocket and sees what he can get for that. The number of children not in school tells its own story. We should remember that those national income figures include the countryside, with farmers and fishermen. K's parents live on around 10K a month but... they are farmers. They grow their own rice, fruit, vegetables,chicken, eggs and pork, and they own their house and the land , so their only outgoings are the land tax (10K annually) electricity and water. When their children were growing up they were struggling.
I'm sure there are many unfortunate families living on less than 330 pesos a day, at the end of the day the Philippines is a developing country and always will be until they get the decent leadership they deserve.
Yes and "unfortunate" is the word. For example, trishaw puller in the provinces makes that sort of money. But am I really the only person here who has real examples?
From memory the official rate 10 years ago was around 300 peso a day in Metropolitan area's i.e. Metro Manila, at that time the government officially published that it expected that amount could support a family of 6, they have had rates of inflation ranging up to 8% or 9% a year since then, I could be exaggerating a bit but not by much. So where do you think that leaves the average family, the vast majority of the population of the cities are in this predicament, big family and little income, it is hardly surprising that so many are desperate to find a way out via a foreign spouse, and I don't blame any of them in the slightest. And as you say Tim there are many others that are trying to get by on less than 330 peso, it was brought home to me one year many years ago when I had met a young man (late teens early twenties) who was studying computing, we talked for a long time, he was a friend of the family, about a year later I met him again and had another chat, he was emaciated, the skin was hanging on his bones, he was literally starving and no longer studying and had not found any work. The reality over there is painful and something that never leaves my mind, I am getting old and I worry terribly about what will happen to my kids if anything happens to me, my personal situation is complex in a lot of ways and my kids don't have the security they deserve in the event that anything happens to me.
I can understand how you feel about the kids, its bad enough worrying about them when you have them with you at home, them being away from just makes the situation worst. As you know, kids need a little guidance as they are growing up and its good to be in the position to nudge them back on track if they should stray. I was away from my kids for years and I can say that it is possible to build a good relationship with them when they are older even if you have not been together all the time. Your kids will be in the position of deciding their own destiny before you even know it, they may well both end up back with you in the UK in time. I don't like getting older, it becomes difficult to see the future in a positive and constructive way.
It's not as simple as that, though. Unless you have the money in the first place to afford University you are going to struggle there. Mrs M worked crazy hours in a shop with just one day off a month. All for 6000 peso a month. That's less than 100 quid. I told her not to do it for that money as I could send her more than that myself. In the end I sent her 200 a month and she was able to get herself set up in her own place. There was a time she kept making up stories and asking for more money. Just like Frank, I started to wonder what was going on and we argued a bit. I later found out she was giving it to her Father for an operation. I asked why she didn't just tell me that, and she said she thought I'd be annoyed. That's why Frank shouldn't immediately assume he's getting conned here. There could be a very real reason why she needed that money, and she's not going to have a lot if she's selling tee shirts from door to door. It's only since my wife has been here in the UK that I really see the pressure she gets from people asking for money from her. Not just immediate family but cousins too. The things Frank mentioned are certainly things he needs to clarify with her, but one shouldn't immediately assume he's getting ripped off. Particularly if, as he says, he doesn't support her monthly.
I agree here but I think Frank is somewhat aware to the financials because he has been ripped off a few times previously. So naturally the alarm bells will start ringing when the requests start coming in.
